Hooked Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 We were together for 5 months. It was a passionate, stormy relationship. She impulsively broke up with me a few times during fights over the last couple months before taking me back a couple/few days later. When she ended it again 2 weeks ago, I kind of naturally expected the same thing would happen again. Alas, this time it's for real. She originally said things like she was devastated too, she just needed time to heal from this, and that we could maybe see each other again one day. I sent her beautiful flowers with a note expressing regret for how things ended. Nevertheless, a week later her tone had changed. She was extremely angry and cold, and said she was done with me forever. I told her that I was heartbroken, but I understood. I said I didn't want us to be enemies. She agreed. I then asked if she might be interested in being friends someday in the future, and that I'd always love her in some way. She said not really, and then called me a clown. WTF? Good job not being enemies. That's the last time I heard from her. I sent her a few more messages, expressing regret for some of my mistakes and appreciation for her, things she did for me, and our good times. Silence. I tried calling a couple times, and although she didn't answer, it rang and so I knew I wasn't blocked. I tried calling her again yesterday and discovered that she blocked me. The reality and finality of the breakup has just hit me like a ton of bricks. I know NC is the key to healing, but this hurts so ****ing much. It hurts that her last words to me were cruel ones, when she knew I was devastated. It hurts that she didn't reciprocate my apology regarding the things she did to hurt me, or express appreciation for anything. It hurts that she ignored my request for a conversation to express some things. It hurts that I'm completely cut out of her life and vice versa. I miss her so much. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I would like to know what these fights look like before I comment. It could well be that she's happy to be out of a toxic relationship.....as you should be. Repeated breaking up and getting back together again is simply a sign that you should have walked away long ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hooked Posted June 17, 2019 Author Share Posted June 17, 2019 I would like to know what these fights look like before I comment. It could well be that she's happy to be out of a toxic relationship.....as you should be. Repeated breaking up and getting back together again is simply a sign that you should have walked away long ago. Lots of bickering. She was impossible to please and unappreciative. It did get toxic at the end with name calling. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Usually women are cruel like that because they see you aren't getting the hint and they figure if they sabotage things it will force them, and you, to move on. Yeah, you're hurting, but the more you chase her, the more angry it is making her and the less she feels a need to change or come back. You're coming across as needy and feminine. Sorry to be rude, but she doesn't want to be friends. She tells you it's over and you respond by saying you love her? You guys broke up a bunch of times. It's not working. She doesn't know how else to end it other than to be cruel and cut you off. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 That's the thing: if there was name calling, she's right that the two of you shouldn't be friends. And if she behaved how you describe, why would you love her anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hooked Posted June 17, 2019 Author Share Posted June 17, 2019 (edited) Sorry to be rude, but she doesn't want to be friends. She tells you it's over and you respond by saying you love her? Yes I've picked up on that, thanks. Note that I merely asked her if she would want to be friends in the future after we've moved on. I knew we couldn't realistically be friends right now, nor would I want to be. And yes I told my dumper that I love her. Because I'm a genuine, mature person and she meant the world to me. So what? Also not sure why it's feminine to apologize and express regret for how things ended and a desire to be amicable. Edited June 17, 2019 by Detoxer Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 This all says more about you than her, really. By your own words, she was difficult and angry. The relationship was not healthy. What attracts to you this type of chaos and dysfunction? Do you have a pattern of getting involved in toxic relationships in your past? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hooked Posted June 17, 2019 Author Share Posted June 17, 2019 This all says more about you than her, really. By your own words, she was difficult and angry. The relationship was not healthy. What attracts to you this type of chaos and dysfunction? Do you have a pattern of getting involved in toxic relationships in your past? Perhaps so. I've never had a relationship anything like this one. I'm not sure that the dysfunction attracted or excited me...I tend to think that since I fell in love with her (or, more likely the idea of her) before it got toxic, I was just holding onto the dream of what I thought we could be, and was in denial about everything that didn't match up with what I wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
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