totallyconfused Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 the moment i'd been waiting for - the begs, the pleads - the emails, the ims, the i'm sorry i love yous. he finally tore down that website. but before all this - i caught him lying to me again. last week he tried to apologize but i found out that he was really using her as backup, trying to see if i wud take him back. i told him that he was so pathetic and that he was STILL so entangled in his lies that he no longer knew what the truth was. that his truths kept changing b/c he had no values, no morals. that he never thought with any action or words he's say. that he was someone else's bf and that he was disrespecting me AND her, and that he needed to go do his own thing cuz i had nothing to do with it. in fact i even accused him of trying to "talk" to me about this WHILE he was driving to go see her and i was right! i was a step ahead of him everytime. i just want to scream and feel victorious, but im not. if anything, i feel like i lost something even more. how could something so precious, blow up. and now...its too late. im too lied to, too cheated on, too betrayed on. how am i supposed to feel? my mind tells me ive won, but my heart feels like ive lost. i asked God to close my heart on this man, he answered my prayers. the only thing i can even think to say to him now is "peace out b1tch" Link to post Share on other sites
Author totallyconfused Posted August 10, 2005 Author Share Posted August 10, 2005 must...be...strong...cant give in!!!! arghhhh just when i started to be happy again... i cant tell if he's lying or if hes faking or if hes just getting desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 Totally, I have read your posts and have felt for you in terms of the disrespect this guy showed for you. I would be amazed if you would even consider settling for someone like this. Please carefully think about your next steps as the thought of comfort will really entice you to go back. Do you want short-term happiness or long-term satisfaction. If it is the latter....just move on and do your own thing. Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by totallyconfused the moment i'd been waiting for - the begs, the pleads - the emails, the ims, the i'm sorry i love yous. It is good that you feel indifferent.. But why were you waiting for this moment ? By waiting you have stiffeled your healing and not truly moved on. .. Ya for feeling indifferent .. NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author totallyconfused Posted August 10, 2005 Author Share Posted August 10, 2005 he emailed me once, he called me a few times, and left 2 IMS of this bs and then he put up this away message "i just dont know what to do anymore" its like IF i were to forgive right (just an IF statement), its like this attempt at salvage is pathetic. thats probably all that hes gonna do to try to "make up for it". thats like if your friend had a bday and your like she already has everything she wants so u dont end up getting them anything. its like he cant think of dear gawd anything, no effort. that makes me more mad. that he actually thinks an email and some phone calls are gonna cut it for the s*** he pulled. and they arent even good apologies to begin with, its like he's halfway making sense but still thinks he is a good person and whatnot. and how cud i ever think what wud happen if i did get back together with him? i cant imagine the circumstances he'd cheat on me again - like if i was pregnant or married. i mean the actions he went thru of aftermath of cheating were pretty bad - jealousy games, spite, cruel and deliberate intentions. im sure it wud be 100x worse the next time around. what do u think? am i being too cynical now? i miss the relationship, not him. Link to post Share on other sites
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