crazyguy123 Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 So like, my ex and I split up over 2 months ago. Immediately after we spilt, I blocked her on everything. Just note: she wanted all the gifts she bought me to be returned which I did. It was an emotionally toxic relationship for about 5 months of the 8 months we were together. I'll give you a few examples. I went out to the gym with my friend, then we went for lunch afterwards. She got mad at me for not inviting her with my friend. On my birthday, she ditched me because I was too slow to reply to her text or even phone call when I busy with my aunts. She wanted me to come out to her brothers birthday and ditched my aunts birthday. She told me if I ever went abroad for my dream career, she would never let me back into her life. So the story now We have been a part for some time and when I see her at the gym like once a month, she would stare at me with some puppy dog eyes. Some days, I would feel great. I would feel like 1000% good but other days, i would feel like crap, like today. It's hard because I really loved her and cared for her but she was so demanding of me. Beyond clingy to be honest with you. I feel pain and lonliness. I feel a sense of relief that we are not together but at the same time I do miss her. Maybe I just miss being with someone. Is this common? Link to post Share on other sites
ItsMeYo Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 So like, my ex and I split up over 2 months ago. I think you're gonna be ok, dude. I know that it sucks bad, but you seem like you're very smart and strong. I can't say that about everyone who posts here. Take time, you have plenty of time. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 It's normal. Once you feel you've grieved it out and learned what you can (usually more clarity comes from after you've moved on a while), just try not to trigger yourself to think about her. When you catch yourself, think two negative things about her instead of the missing her part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyguy123 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 I think you're gonna be ok, dude. I know that it sucks bad, but you seem like you're very smart and strong. I can't say that about everyone who posts here. Take time, you have plenty of time. Thank you for the much needed support. Now that I've been single, I have been able to focus a lot on myself. Watch the food I eat, train a lot, and see a lot of my friends. When I was with her, she was always grumpy whenever I wanted to do something that doesn't involve her. She would be upset with me when I don't want to go shopping with her and rather rest before work. I don't know why I'm still rambling on but yeah. Thanks for the support Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Yes, but I'd say you dodged a bullet. It was an unhealthy, unpredictable relationship for five out of the eight months you were with her. Those types of demands would send most people packing. Feelings aside, you're better off finding someone that will feel the same way about you as you did with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyguy123 Posted May 22, 2019 Author Share Posted May 22, 2019 Yes, but I'd say you dodged a bullet. It was an unhealthy, unpredictable relationship for five out of the eight months you were with her. Those types of demands would send most people packing. Feelings aside, you're better off finding someone that will feel the same way about you as you did with her. Thank you so much for your support. It's still a bit hard. But I will figure out how to get through it Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Thank you so much for your support. It's still a bit hard. But I will figure out how to get through it Every time you start having regrets or feeling nostalgic for her, remind yourself how stifled you felt in the relationship. Yes, there were obviously some good times. But overall, what you describe sounds draining and unpleasant. I dated a man like her and only lasted a year before I finally had to walk away. That was a few years ago now and I have never regretted that choice. It will take some time. But you will eventually reach the point where you're emotionally detached enough to see that the future between you two wouldn't have been a bright one. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 It's very normal to have ups and downs during the adjustment period after a breakup. But I've been through enough breakups to know that my own state of mind is the strongest predictor of emotional balance during any trying time. As I mature, breakups and any kind of trauma in life become less catastrophic. I better accept "what's meant to be will be" and know I'll be OK on my own. It used to be that a breakup felt like the end of the world. Now, it's still sad, but I have a better view of the big picture and understand that if it's not a good match, it's ultimately better to go your separate ways and be at peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyguy123 Posted May 23, 2019 Author Share Posted May 23, 2019 It's very normal to have ups and downs during the adjustment period after a breakup. But I've been through enough breakups to know that my own state of mind is the strongest predictor of emotional balance during any trying time. As I mature, breakups and any kind of trauma in life become less catastrophic. I better accept "what's meant to be will be" and know I'll be OK on my own. It used to be that a breakup felt like the end of the world. Now, it's still sad, but I have a better view of the big picture and understand that if it's not a good match, it's ultimately better to go your separate ways and be at peace. Thank you for the support. It's been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster for me. Mostly good days. I've been feeling better and honestly, I don't lose sleep over the break up. I'm just hurt that I stayed that long with somebody who restricted my freedom. It's not as if I was going out with girls or anything. She despised the idea when I would try to go see my family or even see friends. She hated me having a life outside of what we shared. My brother was going through some mental issues at the time and I went to see him out of town and stayed there for a few nights. She got really upset that I stayed an extra night. She didn't say anything but her behavior said it all. Sorry I am still ranting about this. But I am still upset over it Link to post Share on other sites
Optimystic Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 It used to be that a breakup felt like the end of the world. Now, it's still sad, but I have a better view of the big picture and understand that if it's not a good match, it's ultimately better to go your separate ways and be at peace. This is a healthy way to look at things.. I'm trying to keep this state of mind too. It's not always easy though.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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