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He is already in a new relationship after we broke up 2 weeks ago!


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themagicgirl

I was in a relationship with this guy for 8 months. We were very much in love, although there were some compatibility issues that escalated.

 

So we broke up in the beginning of this month (I broke up with him), and we didn't talk again since.

 

So last weekend I was thinking about him and decided to go see his Facebook profile and to my surprise I couldn't find him. So I asked a friend of mine if she could find him through her profile and she did find him and also found out that he updated his FB status 2 days before to being in a relationship with a new woman. :eek:

 

He had a photo of both of them at his house and in his new girlfriend FB profile there was a friend of her commenting the same photo and saying "the date went well then", to which she replied "yes you can say so". So that means it's something recent.

 

He was also responding to another comment from her mom saying she's got a beautiful daughter and he's looking forward to meet her parents. :eek:

 

He also blocked me on Instagram, and again through my friend's Instagram profile I could see he's still there.

 

But he didn't delete my number or blocked me on Whatsapp, he's still there and visible and available to contact.

 

I am shocked by all this. I was still trying to move on from him and still wondering if I did the right thing in breaking up because he didn't want to break up and he was saying he loves me so much. :confused: And now he's moved on so quickly and already in a commited relationship with someone else!?

 

I don't understand this. I thought about reaching out to him and ask him about it, but the truth is, is none of my business now.

 

My friend is saying he blocked me on social media because he doesn't want me to know he's with someone else, but kept my phone number on his phone because he doesn't want to lose me completely. Otherwise, if he was happy with his new girlfriend he would delete my number too.

 

I'm very confused by all this. I'm in no way ready to be in a commited relationship with another man, as I am still processing the break-up and all that happened, so I don't get this.

 

What do you think about this?

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stillafool

No, he blocked you on social media because you broke up with him and it's over. That is why he has moved on to another girl. What did you expect him to do when you broke up with him? Why are you snooping on his social media if you broke up with him and no longer wanted the relationship?

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Don't forget that you ended things with him for a reason. You both have the right to move on and meet new people. And one or two dates is hardly 'committed' no matter what he puts on his FB.

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themagicgirl
No, he blocked you on social media because you broke up with him and it's over. That is why he has moved on to another girl. What did you expect him to do when you broke up with him? Why are you snooping on his social media if you broke up with him and no longer wanted the relationship?

 

So why did he keep my phone number on his phone then and is still visible on WhatsApp? Shouldn't he block me in there too?

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themagicgirl
Don't forget that you ended things with him for a reason. You both have the right to move on and meet new people. And one or two dates is hardly 'committed' no matter what he puts on his FB.

 

Of course he has the right to move on. I'm just surprised it was after just 2 weeks and already publicly commited to someone else. It's like nothing of what we had was significant.

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stillafool

Give it time. Have you deleted all of his contact info since you were the one to break up with him?

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Why did you break up with him? I'd venture a guess that this is not such a "new" relationship . . . And, if it is, it's not a relationship. It's rebound and endorphins.

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Six weeks after my ex broke up with me (after a 4 year relationship), I met someone new and I’m still seeing, almost a year later.

Once the relationship is over, it’s over and you are both free to do whatever you want.

Some people process their feelings faster than others, some move on a few days after... it is what it is.

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themagicgirl
Why did you break up with him? I'd venture a guess that this is not such a "new" relationship . . . And, if it is, it's not a relationship. It's rebound and endorphins.

 

We had a disagreement and he shown a total lack of empathy for what happened. I was hurt and he didn't want to talk to me and solve things, so I ended it.

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themagicgirl
Give it time. Have you deleted all of his contact info since you were the one to break up with him?

 

I deleted it now after this.

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We had a disagreement and he shown a total lack of empathy for what happened. I was hurt and he didn't want to talk to me and solve things, so I ended it.

 

 

Sweetie, the relationship was over probably for some time, at least for him. He was probably already seeing this girl or working on it. You did the right thing. Eight months is a drop in the bucket compared to the length of time it takes to really get to know someone. Keep moving. It doesn't matter what he does. You block and delete him for YOU and start your healing process.

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themagicgirl
Sweetie, the relationship was over probably for some time, at least for him. He was probably already seeing this girl or working on it. You did the right thing. Eight months is a drop in the bucket compared to the length of time it takes to really get to know someone. Keep moving. It doesn't matter what he does. You block and delete him for YOU and start your healing process.

 

Yes I deleted his number now after this.

 

I just feel that being in a new commited relationship after only 2 weeks of breaking up is not normal.

 

Or either he was already talking to her when we were together (and that's why he blocked me on social media so I don't find out about that), or he is just immature and childish.

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Yes I deleted his number now after this.

 

I just feel that being in a new commited relationship after only 2 weeks of breaking up is not normal.

 

Or either he was already talking to her when we were together (and that's why he blocked me on social media so I don't find out about that), or he is just immature and childish.

 

Blocking isn't necessarily immature. Blocking and deleting reminders, etc., is not about punishment really. Maybe that's how he's viewing it because he is immature, but it's really a tool for allowing a person to move forward from a break up. It's what you should do for yourself as well.

 

And, being in a new committed relationship after only 2 weeks is common for people who are afraid of being alone and/or whose ego needs the validation of a bf/gf. But, I'd say, in this case, it's more likely he was already seeing her. Just sit back and observe. She may simply have inherited the same thing you dealt with. Who knows?

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themagicgirl
Blocking isn't necessarily immature. Blocking and deleting reminders, etc., is not about punishment really. Maybe that's how he's viewing it because he is immature, but it's really a tool for allowing a person to move forward from a break up. It's what you should do for yourself as well.

 

And, being in a new committed relationship after only 2 weeks is common for people who are afraid of being alone and/or whose ego needs the validation of a bf/gf. But, I'd say, in this case, it's more likely he was already seeing her. Just sit back and observe. She may simply have inherited the same thing you dealt with. Who knows?

 

I meant immature in being in a new publicly commited relationship after only 2 weeks, not about the blocking.

 

Yes maybe he doesn't want to be alone or needs the ego validation, or maybe she was simply available and he took the chance.

 

It helps me move on too, because I can see he's moving on. But it's still hard to see it after only 2 weeks.

 

I just don't understand why he blocked me everywhere but kept my number available on his phone and Whatsapp.

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We had a disagreement and he shown a total lack of empathy for what happened. I was hurt and he didn't want to talk to me and solve things, so I ended it.

 

You are not the dumper, he is the dumper.

He manufactured a situation so that you had to dump him.

As the dumper he moved swiftly on.

You, as the dumpee, are still heart broken..

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themagicgirl
You are not the dumper, he is the dumper.

He manufactured a situation so that you had to dump him.

As the dumper he moved swiftly on.

You, as the dumpee, are still heart broken..

 

Actually after that and before I broke up, he came back apologizing, saying he loves me and wants to make it work. I said yes I want the same and we were fine for a couple of days, but then I couldn't stop thinking about the way he reacted and that is not what I want in a partner so I broke up.

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Ruby Slippers

I've never understood why people break up with somebody then go checking up on them online to see what they're doing. When I break up with somebody, I don't even want to know what they're doing and when they're dating again.

 

I agree that someone who leaps from one failed relationship to another one is unlikely to succeed in the new relationship. They'll carry all the same issues forward. So whatever you didn't like about this guy, the new girl will now get to deal with.

 

Delete/block him everywhere so you can let go and move on.

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themagicgirl
I've never understood why people break up with somebody then go checking up on them online to see what they're doing. When I break up with somebody, I don't even want to know what they're doing and when they're dating again.

 

I agree that someone who leaps from one failed relationship to another one is unlikely to succeed in the new relationship. They'll carry all the same issues forward. So whatever you didn't like about this guy, the new girl will now get to deal with.

 

Delete/block him everywhere so you can let go and move on.

 

It's part of the moving on I guess. Sometimes you get a bit nostalgic and questioning if you did the right thing in breaking up and end up checking their social media account. Perfectly normal.

 

Until the day you move on completely and stop doing that.

 

Good riddance for me. He was emotionally unavailable and of extremes, amazing when everything goes well, completely closed off and avoidant when things are not.

 

Also, he has like a victim mindset, so I don't think he's the type to take time to access himself after a break-up and see where he needs to change or evolve before he gets into a new relationship, he's the type who thinks he's perfectly fine and just needs to find the "perfect" woman.

 

 

Good luck to her.

 

 

I don't have to block him because he already did, but I have deleted his number today.

Edited by themagicgirl
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ExpatInItaly

If he was closed-off and avoidant while you dated, maybe you're just now learning part of the reason he was like that. If he knew her beforehand, and if he'd been engaging with her before you two broke up, then perhaps he was having a hard time juggling the two of you and inadvertently shut down to avoid getting too close and having his two worlds collide.

 

Or, maybe he's just rebounding and going along for the ride and enjoying the company of a new woman.

 

Either way, you are not losing out if you feel you two were not compatible. It will take a bit to get past the sting of learning he's got someone else now, but ultimately, remind yourself that he wasn't the one for you.

 

It would be worth reflecting on what you were hoping for, though. Were you having some regrets about ending it? Hoping that maybe you two could still work it out?

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TheFinalWord

Sorry OP. Even though it's over, I know it still hurts. I remember when that happened to me the first time. A week prior we were telling each other how much we loved each other. Then we broke up. A week later, she has a new boyfriend and professional pictures of them all over her social media. The relationship only lasted a few months.

 

My first thought is it's a rebound. If he really loved you, he couldn't move on that quick.

 

Or like another poster said, by random chance, he met his dream girl in those two weeks and they had an insane connection.

 

But my first thought is rebound. Normally in a rebound the person tries to escalate the new relationship to the same level as the old one to acquire the same emotional fulfillment. If it is a rebound, it won't last too long.

 

Another person asked about why people look at an exes social media. Well, some people do reconcile. If there really was a connection and love, you often second guess if you made the right choice. Unless there was cheating or abuse, disagreements can be worked out and if you love the person there's a strong chance the couple will try. I know most married couples have had that knock down drag out fight before they got married. Temporary break up.

 

You were involved in each others lives and are curious what they are up to. I think this curiosity is even stronger if you don't have anyone new yet. You want to know if it's hurting them as much as it's hurting you. In short, it's pretty normal and almost impossible to resist.

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themagicgirl

Thank you.

 

Yes I was having second thoughts if I did the right thing in breaking up. When we were together we used to text message each other all day everyday and then see each other in the evening and weekends, and I was missing all that terribly.

 

Although we didn't block or deleted each other phone numbers, we never talked again since we broke up and I don't know why but some gut instinct told me to go check his Facebook profile, and then I saw he blocked me and was able to see his profile through my friend's FB and saw he has a new girlfriend.

 

Yes it was a shock to me because 2 weeks ago he was saying he wanted to be with me and that he loves me so much.

 

This now makes me question the whole relationship and if he was telling the truth about his feelings for me. Last time we were together I also got an urinary tract infection after sleeping with him, so I wonder now if he was already sleeping with her and that's why...

 

I'm not gonna lie, I am sad about all this. I know I was the one breaking up, but deep down I was hoping we could get back together and solve things.

 

I guess that's not gonna happen and I don't see him the same way now as before.

 

I think it would be ok to date again afer 2 weeks, but pubicly announce on Facebook to friends and family that he is in a commited relationship with another woman is too much to bear for me. :(

 

He lost me completely, I have deleted his number and wish him well.

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themagicgirl
If he was closed-off and avoidant while you dated, maybe you're just now learning part of the reason he was like that. If he knew her beforehand, and if he'd been engaging with her before you two broke up, then perhaps he was having a hard time juggling the two of you and inadvertently shut down to avoid getting too close and having his two worlds collide.

 

Or, maybe he's just rebounding and going along for the ride and enjoying the company of a new woman.

 

Either way, you are not losing out if you feel you two were not compatible. It will take a bit to get past the sting of learning he's got someone else now, but ultimately, remind yourself that he wasn't the one for you.

 

It would be worth reflecting on what you were hoping for, though. Were you having some regrets about ending it? Hoping that maybe you two could still work it out?

 

Yes, please read my previous reply when I respond to that. Thank you.

 

I just feel at this point I don't know who that person is.

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stillafool
.

 

 

 

I'm not gonna lie, I am sad about all this. I know I was the one breaking up, but deep down I was hoping we could get back together and solve things.

 

I guess that's not gonna happen and I don't see him the same way now as before.

 

I think it would be ok to date again afer 2 weeks, but pubicly announce on Facebook to friends and family that he is in a commited relationship with another woman is too much to bear for me. :(

 

He lost me completely, I have deleted his number and wish him well.

 

No apparently neither of you see each other the same way anymore. I notice a lot of women break up with men (not because they want to end the relationship) but with hopes that he will chase them down, beg them back and then promise to be the man of their dreams. This usually doesn't happen and people should only end it with their partners when they are sure they want to break up. Most times the partner doesn't come back after being dumped.

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themagicgirl
No apparently neither of you see each other the same way anymore. I notice a lot of women break up with men (not because they want to end the relationship) but with hopes that he will chase them down, beg them back and then promise to be the man of their dreams. This usually doesn't happen and people should only end it with their partners when they are sure they want to break up. Most times the partner doesn't come back after being dumped.

 

Well I forgot to mention that he did break up with me before too. A month before he said he was too anxious about the relationship and couldn't continue.

 

Then 2 weeks later he started talking to me on Whatsapp asking for us to meet and wanting to get back together because he loves me and is missing me terribly, so I gave him a second chance.

 

But I then realized in the time we tried to get back together that he didn't change at all and decided to end it.

 

I wasn't expecting him to come back begging to get back together after I break up because I know he has a big ego and this time it was me breaking up. So, if I wanted to get back together it would have to be me contacting him this time. To which is not gonna happen.

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Urinary tract infections aren't sexually transmitted, so if he was sleeping with anyone else, it didn't cause this.

 

I maintain that putting a new relationship on FB doens't mean they are committed. It truly is possible to set too much store in social media. In his case, it's more likely to mean rebound.

 

I'm sure you had something really good while it was in it's prime and that would have been real - but given the on again off again of recent times, it sounds like the relationship had reached it's end.

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