Stuck in Limbo donno

[Fangraiel]

Hello,

 

I am 27 years old born and raised in Turkey, Ankara. I moved to Vienna,Austria when i was 18 years old to study abroad. When i went there i had nobody with me. My parents flew with me to settle me into a dorm and left me over there couple of days later. I had no clue living on my own. How to cook, wash etc. I struggled a lot to adabt a country, city that is all foreign to me. It took me years to actually establish something over there. Due to language barrier i struggled at uni and tried changing it etc. But remained in Vienna. I worked a lot and learned how to survive.

 

Between 2014-2016 i had a serious relationship which we both wanted to marry but due to families it was an issue and didnt work out and we got separeted. It was a painfull period for me but i learned to move on because there was no love left between us.

 

Aproximetly 6 months later i met this beautiful lady. We started kinda seeing each other but there was no commintment. She was saying in the begining that she can be selfish and get bored but eventually 3 months later .we actually started dating. On a cosy night where we were actually on holiday while smoking outside hotel we said each other that we want to be in a relationship. It was the greatest time i had in my life. She become my family over there. I embraced her completly told my deepest feelings/secrets and knew that she was doing the same to me. I kept on going to her parents house and she came to turkey to meet with my family. We kept always saying we are in this together. I had struggled had problems with life(i am alone in a foreign country) with uni but we had each other.

 

As a foreigner i need to renew my visum every year. At 2018 i applied to a visum but they didnt respond to me on time and i kept waiting. Many of my turkish friends had been waiting long so we said it is normal. Around september time i needed to move out from my place and temporarily moved in with my girlfriend. We had lived around 3 months before so it was not an issue. And on october police came to our door and took my passport away due i am illegal. We had no clue that i was illegal until that time. The governtment said they coulndt reach me bla bla but thats impossible. I went to a lawyer and we oppened a case. In the meanwhile we were so desperate. Our life was crumbling and we were crying nearly everyday. Eventually on january governent court sided with government(what a surprise) and they left me but no choise to leave the country. I had around year and a half to finish uni. I flew back to Turkey 1 day after her birthday on february thinking i would be back in few months.

 

First i got rejected again because i need to apply from turkey not from austria again. Second thanks to family connections a good uni accepted me as a student here in turkey and started studying there. With my girlfriend there was always on her mind this whole illegal situation would come on to us. But legally i am all ok. I have 1 and half years to be done with uni here(which is super easy for me as its mother language) and after that i will definatly find a job vienna and go back. And told her that.We tried talking via whatsupp everyday once or twice skype and even wrote letters to each other. But starting from may 1st she became a bit cold. She refused to skype 2wice due she is super tired(which is kinda usual i know my gf) but still something was cold. And on 8th of may we skyped and said she wants to break up. She said word by word that she is growing apart from me. In first when we depart it was like we will see each other in few months at most in the summer where i can go via tourist visum and she can come here. But she said the bubble we were in is no more and reality is not like that,. Truelly i cant be there like before till 1 and half years. The exact sentence that she said to me is "i dont want to keep going knowing there is no good ending. And i know that now and it wont be better later if wee keep trying" then she said in the first i was everywhere she kept crying for a month but then she realised i am ot there anymore and adabted the situation. Then for few weeks she said i am not her mind like that all the time except i text her back or there is something that reminds me her. Then we cried but cried a lot. She said i am the most important importan person. We said more than 10 times we miss each other so much and we said A LOT that we love each other. While we were hanging which we needed to do together we looked each other said i love you.

 

We didnt talk since that. But in the summer i need to go back to vienna. I have tons of stuff back her place which i need them and even some mobel at her parents place which i need to sell. She will write me an invitation so i can get visum easily. And said while breakup that i should definetly stay with her rather than paying for a hotel.

 

My plans are nomather what i will return where she lives in the future. I know that i will do that. My ultimate goal is life is finish the school and move back into europe again.She kinda knows that too but she is far too realistic.

 

I am using no contact now,but at some point i need to reach her around june. I truelly dont know what to do. I am stuck in limbo which i cant get out. And i know she is kinda the one.

 

Yours sincerely.

Ps: sorry its kinda long but i needed to tell everthing so you guys now the back story in the most honest way.

[preraph]

I know it's not what you want to hear, but you are both young and have other options and should both find someone locally without all the legal problems attached to being together. She has moved on because long distance is a relationship killer. I'm sorry you're hurting. It is sad. But there are a billion other women in the world and probably a million right there in your town. Good luck.