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Discussion - Dumper Trends


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MeadowFlower

So what do ya'll think? In a relationship, or dating scenario, the person who initially for a time seems more into their partner and all over them and keen to start a relationship; are they the one who often ends up leaving aka dumping the other person?

 

Discussion.....

Edited by MeadowFlower
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I don't think there is really a trend because every relationship is so different. Causes of breakups come from so many different reasons.

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You could say it is the one who never really wanted to be in the relationship in the first place is usually the dumper but it doesn't work like that either.

Relationship evolve over time.

Boxes tend to get ticked and unticked, things get done and said, people get disillusioned and disappointed and suddenly it doesn't seem like such a good idea to continue as a couple.

There is no trend, no set formula.

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jackofmany

I don't suppose there is a set formula. On the other hand, every time I have been dumped it has gone exactly like that.

 

I also always seem to think I'll be fine in those scenarios, and then once th bomb drops, I'm devastated. I'm going through that right now.

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So what do ya'll think? In a relationship, or dating scenario, the person who initially for a time seems more into their partner and all over them and keen to start a relationship; are they the one who often ends up leaving aka dumping the other person?

 

Discussion.....

 

well just by simply observing all types of relationships out there. i can tell you that one of the main causes for breaking up is what i like to call the master and the slave. and its pretty close to alpha and beta.

 

in the beginning of a relationship everything's butterflies and what not, and just to clarify real quick. men and women are completely different and think differently even if they do the same actions/negative actions.

 

now me being a woman, not saying that i do this , but i have girlfriends who have done this to men. they love and butterfly in the beginning. and then as the relationship goes on and they grow together. these women observe. they see certain types of men, theres the man who has no sense of direction. so he follows his woman threw the jungle like a lost puppy, theres the good guy, nicest best personality and great income, but he too does not lead the woman threw the jungle, he just supplies her with what ever she needs, a machete or insect repelant . and she can easily get threw. but she still has to read the map on her own.

 

theres another 2 , the bad boy and the alpha. the bad boy is a risk taker, he will take her threw the jungle even threw dangourus paths and she likes that. until the paths seem to never end.

 

and the alpha. who leads, chooses the best path to take. defends, and doesnt take anyones ****. not even hers.

 

and its obvious that most women and ill say ones with high egos usually want the alpha.

 

my sister left her man , he was great perfect everything you would want in a man. or you think you would. she left him for an abusive drug dealer. but this guy she left him for didnt take anyones ****, not even hers. her ex on the other hand started going to the gym full time. he was kinda skinny and we didnt see him for about 2 years. then one day my mom invited him to our family reunion. he showed up and he was jacked. like going from 160 to 220, we couldnt believe how huge he was. he was a completely new man.

 

and my sister lol she got the worst karma in her life. because there was alot of my other sisters and cousins friends at this reunion, hot girls. and the were crawling all over him. and she kept trying to steal him away from them. and he shrugged her off like she was trash, me and our family was so proud of him, and my sister took off crying her eyes out because rejected her!

 

sorry im kinda rambling on, i dono if i get you a proper opinion to your question, but all i can say is change , grow, and she will know. then you can reject that hoe

Edited by missmoxie
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Yes this does happen, the person who was initially more into the relationship in the early stages, at a later stage they realise maybe this person is not as good as they thought or that they do not like them as much as they thought,

they lose interest, the spark goes or whatever,

 

 

It can be tough out there at times,

 

 

the thing is people suit themselves, personally I spent a lot of my life so far being a people pleaser,

but Ive been stung in return by people, both male and female,

 

 

friends will reject you (I just mean in general not referring to you specifically) potential dating interests will reject you,

 

 

It fundamentally goes back to what I just posted on the other thread- people suit themselves and modern society encourages people to look after number one.

most people on this forum will look after number one and I do intend that as a criticism,

I guess there is validity in the point too " if you do not like something or someone get them out of your life" I have been on the receiving end of this and you know what it damn hurts.

 

 

friends and finding love are both very important but it does not happen by depending on them,

 

 

a person has to find their own self confidence, grow in their own right and then finding the friends and lovers becomes easier,

 

 

as you know I am not there myself either but I think it can be all achievable

Edited by Foxhall
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OatsAndHall

The only kind of "dumpers" that have anything in common are "branch swingers". These are individuals who move from one relationship to another quickly or while they're still in one. But, a) one should avoid getting involved with someone who is still in a relationship (duh) and b) if they're not in a relationship, they throw off large red flags early. If they're split from their previous partner, they talk about their former relationship(s) early in the dating game. If that happens, I tap out quickly.

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Ruby Slippers

In every case but one, I've been the dumper.

 

I'm never the more eager one in the beginning - I let the man initiate and drive the relationship, because I feel that anything less and it won't have staying power, so why bother.

 

I only break up with someone when I feel there's very little hope for it going the distance. I don't like to waste my time and energy or anybody else's.

 

Even though it always sucks and is painful, I try to be loving and kind even when ending a relationship. If I didn't think highly of the man and wish him well, I wouldn't have been with him in the first place.

 

I broke up with someone a week ago, and I genuinely wish him no harm, hope he has a wonderful life, and he expressed the same to me.

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