We both agreed to call time on our relationship

[Trail Blazer]

Last night my girlfriend and I had "the chat" and agreed to go our seperate ways.

 

It took me a lot of time to come to terms with the fact that I was losing someone I had invested so much in. I couldn't endure it any longer, though. So, I told her that we needed to catch up for a chat.

 

I am starting a new job in a month where I will be working out of town for up to a month at a time before returning for 3 weeks. It's an amazing opportunity and something which I've been pushing for a long time. So, trying to get all my affairs in order included needing to work out where I stood in my relationship.

 

I didn't beat around the bush. When we sat down at her dining table, I cut to the chase. Asking her where I stood felt kind of rehtorical, as it had been obvious for a while where I stood. I stood no chance of resurrecting the relationship, that much I knew....

 

Anyway, we chatted for an hour before I finally put it to her that there really wasn't any point hanging on. She agreed. I mean, I knew she would. Her actions told me that the relationship was over, I was the one who needed to use words to formalize it, though.

 

She wants to stay friends and catch up with the kids. I guess I'm all for that. We didn't work out, and her communication was at times terrible. However, she's such a sweet natured person and has helped me through so much. We've been through a lot together and she said she doesn't regret any of it. Nor do I.

 

I don't really know how to feel, to be honest. It's more relief than sadness. But I still love her, why am I not sadder? Yes, I love her in the sense that I'd go crazy if anyone hurt her, but I could not see myself wanting to go back there.

 

I admit that when we exchanged house keys and she gave me my toiletries, as well as some chocolate that her brothers gave her to give me for Easter, it was rather solemn. We hugged for about 20 seconds as I stood at her front door. We didn't say anything. I kissed her on the cheek and I could tell she was fighting back a tear.

 

When I got in my car, my eyes welled up. I didn't cry, but I almost did. I just came home, crawled into bed and slept like a baby.

 

I'm not sure what will happen from here. Will it start hurting more? I don't know... I just don't know what to think, other than plan my future for MYSELF and my kids.

 

I am sure I will feel days where I miss her. I will always cherish the good times. But it's for the best.

 

Thank you to all the respondents on my other threads about this relationship over the last year. There was some fantastic feedback, even some which I didn't really like hearing. It all helped me make sense of a very rough emotional situation.

[OatsAndHall]

When my ex-wife and I first separated, I felt an incredibly calm sense of relief as our marriage had become incredibly stressful and toxic. That feeling last for about five days or so and I believe it was a simple biological response to being removed from that environment. But, I did hit a wall where I fell apart and missed her terribly after those five days. Unfortunately, things happened while we were separated that turned it into a divorce.

 

 

I imagine you'll feel this relief for a bit but the grieving process will kick in.

[Happy Lemming]

Is this the woman that was refusing to have sex with you while playing with her phone in bed (ignoring you)??

 

If so, "Good riddance to bad rubbish." - Tobias Smollett

 

Don't shed a tear over this selfish woman, you can do better. NEXT!!

 

Enjoy your new job, it sounds like a great opportunity and A LOT of fun. You earned this promotion, take full advantage of it. Do a good job, and more rewards will come your way. Companies value flexible employees!!

 

As as side note, I'd change the locks on my home. You don't know if she made a duplicate of the key or not. On most locks its just two screws and you can change of the lock portion of the door knob, especially since she knows you will be out of town for an extended period of time. I might throw away the chocolate, as well. Hell hath no fury...

[preraph]

I'm sorry. I hope your kids adjust okay. It's good you parted civilly.

[Trail Blazer]

Is this the woman that was refusing to have sex with you while playing with her phone in bed (ignoring you)??

 

If so, "Good riddance to bad rubbish." - Tobias Smollett

 

Don't shed a tear over this selfish woman, you can do better. NEXT!!

 

Enjoy your new job, it sounds like a great opportunity and A LOT of fun. You earned this promotion, take full advantage of it. Do a good job, and more rewards will come your way. Companies value flexible employees!!

 

As as side note, I'd change the locks on my home. You don't know if she made a duplicate of the key or not. On most locks its just two screws and you can change of the lock portion of the door knob, especially since she knows you will be out of town for an extended period of time. I might throw away the chocolate, as well. Hell hath no fury...

 

Yes it is. Whilst I highlighted the struggles in our relationship in order to seek answers, we ultimately determined that we weren't a suitable match as lovers. She is still a wonderful person and has helped me so much in many ways. She has been very supportive through some struggles I've had. There's ni reason why we can't remain good friends.