I've made a right mess

[Smilingontheoutside]

Hi all

 

14 months ago me and my boyfriend of 3 years broke up. I love him but he was selfish and he would cancel plans at last minute and when I went through a really hard time and he wasn't there for me. So I ended it and for 6 months he tried to win me back.

 

Fast forward a year on and I'm single having never met anyone I connected with like him and we reconnect through text and start reminiscing about the good times...a week in he drops the bomb shell he has a girlfriend...we had arranged to meet for coffee before he told me this and we still met for coffee...next day he dumps her cause hes still in love with me and 2 weeks later we kiss...2 weeks after this he gets cold feet and goes back to her....2 weeks later he realises he still loves me and dumps her...

 

We've been dating 6 weeks now and I now realise why we broke up...nothing has changed BUT here's the worst part...I'm PREGNANT...its my worst nightmare I have an teenager from a previous relationship and now I have a crisis pregnancy with an extremely selfish man...my worst fear is having 2 kids by 2 different man and here I am....I had an abortion in the past and couldn't face another one and this pregnancy is risky as I took the morning after so I have that to deal with

 

I havent told him and to be honest I cant deal with telling him at the moment...any advice would be appreciated

[mark clemson]

If you keep the child you'll have to tell him eventually. You have time, so wait a while for it to settle in emotionally before telling him. It's early on - possibly you'll have a miscarriage. While I'd never wish that on anyone, it would make your situation easier (and is another reason to wait before telling him).

 

Think there is a wide range of possibilities for his reaction/attitude to the situation - could be anywhere from urging you to abort to insisting on marriage. You know him, we don't but suggest being prepared to possibly be surprised by him one way or another.

 

You have my sympathies for your very difficult situation.

[preraph]

I don't know much but are you so far along you can't take the morning after pill or something like that? Now you'll be stuck with this guy the rest of your life. I hope he's at least good for the child support. You know if you're in the US, you just report it to the State and they take it from him and you don't have to mess with that. But sounds like you might be from elsewhere.

[d0nnivain]

You gotta tell him.

[heatherbliss]

Hi, I'm so sorry for the situation you're facing right now and I can understand how all this must be affecting you emotionally and physically. However, I believe your desire not to want to abort is one of the most loving decisions you can make. Children are a gift from God and bring joy into the lives of those they touch. Since you are mom already, I know you know this. Please let no one deprive you of this blessing or of wanting to do what is right and good.

 

If you ever find yourself struggling or overwhelmed as a single parent, there are many places you can turn to for help like this article I recently saw online -- https://bit.ly/2rgDl6U. The author is also a single mom and she has a lot of wisdom and sound practical advice to share.

 

I'll be praying that your boyfriend will respect your decision to carry this baby to term as well as accept his responsibility to co-parent and provide for your baby financially. I'll also be praying for you and the health and future of your unborn child. Be blessed and encouraged during this time. Sending you warm hugs and God's love.

[rjc149]

I am so sorry to hear about your dilemma.

 

You need to tell your boyfriend immediately, despite the fact that he sounds like a jackass. His input is necessary for the decision.

 

It's tough to see it either of these ways, but 1, he may step up, get his act together, and be a father and a partner to you, and 2, as your teen grows into adulthood, you'll have one child to raise, and that child end up being your favorite mistake.