Sickest Rollercoaster Relationship ever

[Enderfect]

Wow.. So where do I start

 

So me and my present girlfriend now ex broke up in February.. we have been together on and off for 7 years and have a beautiful 3 y/o daughter together

Prior to this relationship I was with a girl for 8 1/2 years and had 2 kids with that ended horribly and her taking my children out of state and caused a lot of personal drama and trauma in my life remember this note..

 

For years me and this girl were extremely close whilst there being a sizeable age difference she was 18 I was 25.. But she wasn't like normal 18 year old's she was reserved smart mature..

 

And unfortunately I was anxiety ridden trauma scarred depressed no motivation & a loser.. I had no job no car didn't have my own place for 4 years.. But im guessing our chemistry and my personality was worth more

Weve been through a lot together and gotten past things most couples wouldn't ever.. We had our first child 3 years ago.. And my life and responsibility's grew Better Job after better Job Getting over Severe anxiety's and fears like driving

We got a place together and were living there and being a family when suddenly my job started going down they cut me down to part time and some shady was happening so we made the decision to quit that job.

 

2 Months went by no job calls arguments began to become more frequent we started getting more toxic and toxic until 1 day she snapped threw me out and ended our family... I got a job 2 days later but an argument that had happened where things were misspoke pissed her off really bad.. and with that breakup past trauma & complete panic took over my mind and I chased and Hounded her for about a month and a half Just pleading trying to talk to get get closure anything.. and There was mixed messages Ghosting the works which inevitably I know drove her farther away and made her angrier.. But losing my family and everything coming back I just lost it.. and her response to my plads of closure to talk to communicate and try to work things out and be a family were met with hostility cruelty hardsh words toxic behavior..

 

This Girl.. and our memories and my famly means the absolute world to me.. She pulled me out of the gutter and helped me become who I am now and don't plan to stop there..

 

After the breakup this girl has completely transformed at 25.. I and my family who know her well considered her mature classy etc but shes transformed into this person.. She died her hair pierced her nipples getting huge gawdy tattoossleeve tattoos talking about getting under her breasts tattooed.. Shes meeting random guys from okcupid and sleeping with them siting she doesn't want to be in a relationship or anything serious She went as far as sleeping with someone I have nothing but hate for.

 

This was said after the fact.. Of last night we got into a huge fight she called me crying belligerent yelling how she hates me she wants me ing dead etc.. She called me hours later asking me to meet her at a restaurant with our daughter.. I went we went back to "Our" home together it was like nothing happened that day.. we got our kid to sleep we were communicating things like issues what had happened what shes doing.. the first time truly communicating in along time..

and we slept together.. and then she was telling me I didn't want to know.. the above and said that im she doesn't want to be with me she wants to be alone she wants to Try new things with new people...

 

And as pathetic as it all sounds I told her like im the father of your child you could easily call me over and it wouldn't be awkward or anything cause I don't want her to get raped killed or stds..

 

But I was shocked.. layig in my bed next to her it was like.. I have no idea who she is.. Like overnight she transformed from a cautious smart classy girl into this reckless angsty Half teenager Half adult person..

 

She assured me nothing is going on when my daughter is around she claims were done for good but ive heard this before in past breakups our last breakup minus the things shes done/ said in the last 2 weeks was far worse then this one and she said she was done then??

 

I Have no idea what to do.. idk if chasing her caused her to just go out of her mind.. but last night was the first time weve communicated about issues the whys since the breakup zo its like the old girl I love is still in there..

 

And im trying to make things right since the breakup I got a better job a lisence im about to get a car been working on myself and she's just... idk what she's doing its like shes completely out of her mind.

 

When she had her nipples pierced she looked at me dead in the face and told me I did the ultimate thing that proves were never getting back together... and I said oh? whats that she said I got my nipples pierced and I just stared at her like who the says or thinks that?

 

Ive looked up How to get your ex back self help guides the stages of a a breakup for a dumper which according to it shed be in phase 2... Elation and being completely out of character..

 

I Know im all over the place with this story and skipping things but... Im lost..

 

Is This Normal for people to be that drastic? That Out of Mind? That Reckless?

 

This breakup was just a collimation of little things and being temporary out of work.. that exploded I regret chasing her.. and I just want to know what I can do.... To Bring Back the girl I love and my family from the depths of hell

 

Im Worried about her

Edited April 18, 2019 by Enderfect

[samjam7]

Tbh honestly from what I saw young individuals are not as reliable. They are still growing. While they may still behave maturely for their age but there is a lot of changes they are still undergoing. My ex-bf was 19 and I was 21 when we started dating. After 1 month of dating, I decided to call it quits because I knew he would change down the line. He promised me and acted extremely mature that our relationship will work no matter what. Fast forward two years later he broke up with me saying he does not believe in love and blah blah.

[mark clemson]

Yikes. I have seen people change drastically before as well (not my partners but the partner of someone I know). Sometimes people turn weird corners and there may be little you can do about this. Suggest you:

 

 

1) Try to protect the child as best you can from any weirdness/risks and provide as stable an environment as you can during your turns with visitation.

 

2) Work on getting over her; seeing her repeatedly will trigger feelings but you'll have to deal with this unfortunately; you almost certainly will want/need to move on sooner or later (don't let her interfere with this like an orbiter might).

 

3) Continue to improve/work on yourself and your personal situation. You'll need this to accomplish 1 and 2 above well.

 

4) As much as is reasonable, try to protect her from her own toxicity. This is a thankless task in your case I think, so you needn't go overboard. Ultimately her issues are her own to solve, but to the extent there is impact on your child you might try to moderate.

 

It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation. You have my sympathies with that FWIW.

[Enderfect]

Happened Again last night.. But it was different intimate stayed the night again

 

Im keeping myself guarded and basically trying to rebuild Sexual attraction and Chemistry by tuning out the panic & concern of us being a family

 

Its a dangerous game.. but considering the alternative of us being hostile not talking seeing my daughter only 3 hours a day.. Its a risk I have to take.

 

Cause I feel like if I can maintain and show her the guy she fell in love with that there is still plenty between us and Attraction and chemistry..

 

Maybe she might snap out of it

[mark clemson]

Given all you put in your original post I suspect this may be wishful thinking. I could be wrong. Try to make sure no one gets hurt, esp. the child. Sincerely wish you luck with this.

[Enderfect]

Definitely not the ideal scenario I want to be in...

 

But I have to try & I'm making sure not to overstep or fall in.

 

Just playing it cool & casual atm