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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 15th April 2019, 7:55 AM   #1
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Hurt

My relationship is currently over for 1 month. He decided to break up, it was six months ago since everything begun to went wrong. I was not well, I was not feeling good and he wanted to enjoy his friends since this is our last year of high school. I was just asking for some support when my health put me to the ground, I think he was afraid that my malaise was going to trapped him and so he chose that we should separate by insisting that we stay in good terms.

I was always disappointed by his actions toward me, I was no longer a priority for him he wanted to think about his happiness and only that, he was undecided and every time I asked him if we had to separate he told me that no he still loved me too much. I coulnd't make a move toward him there were no spontaneous moves anymore which was so important for me. I knew that this was going to happen, he is very indecisive but I felt that we could no longer continu we were arguing often for misunderstandings we did not understand eachother anymore.

After the break, he was ashamed to have left me, he avoided me, he was acting strangely and he was taking any girl in his arms without being suspicious. When I asked him if he still had feelings for me he just told me that he did not think so, he was only experiencing feelings of love for our memories but stil he was hesitant and he broke me with that . He still as being so hesistant told me it was a break then I didin't know anymore so I pull the trigger and I told him I took that as a definitive breakup beacause being unsure was driving me crazy.

I'm his first love, he said, however, that he will always love me a little in the depths of himself if we separate before. I feel betrayed for being dumpt by message by a guy like him as if 1 year and a half of relationship was worthless I took it as a huge disrepect. Today I'm not sure if I want to get back together again, I'm expecting excuses from him, he should have told me that it was finished like a man by looking me in the eyes because me I haved being strong I looked at him and told him in the face that whatever happens I would always respect him and his decisions.

I made him suffer and he made me suffer. I see him every day and it's probably the hardest to survive, it's like a competition that who will be the happiest and this unhealthy battle is exhausting. I don't know if he has moved on, sometimes he is acting too much happy to be true and sometimes he is completly off, he's still looking at my stuff on social media, try to act like were friend in front of others so I really don't know I try my hardest to ignore him.

I can't help having a feeling that he's gonna try to come back at the end of this school year because he is afraid of being lonely and I have being good to him so I'm afraid of my reaction if he does come back, I still love him but I feel that even if I still want him he is not the person I need.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 15th April 2019 at 8:05 AM..
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Old 15th April 2019, 1:17 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by lenreyi View Post
I'm his first love, he said, however, that he will always love me a little in the depths of himself if we separate before. I feel betrayed for being dumpt by message by a guy like him as if 1 year and a half of relationship was worthless I took it as a huge disrepect.

I made him suffer and he made me suffer. I see him every day and it's probably the hardest to survive, it's like a competition that who will be the happiest and this unhealthy battle is exhausting. I don't know if he has moved on, sometimes he is acting too much happy to be true and sometimes he is completly off, he's still looking at my stuff on social media, try to act like were friend in front of others so I really don't know I try my hardest to ignore him.

I can't help having a feeling that he's gonna try to come back at the end of this school year because he is afraid of being lonely and I have being good to him so I'm afraid of my reaction if he does come back, I still love him but I feel that even if I still want him he is not the person I need.

Agree that the text breakup was cowardly given your situation.

You sound quite young. You should realize that it is very very likely that even in just a few years you will look back at this as just a memory of an emotionally turbulent time.

In the meantime, realize that playing a game of hiding your feelings, although quite common, doesn't really lead to anything useful. If you know he's not good for you, it's probably best to make a firm decision to let him go. That way he's not "in the way" of you finding someone who's better for you if/when you are ready to do that.
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Old 16th April 2019, 10:53 AM   #3
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Quote:
Agree that the text breakup was cowardly given your situation.

You sound quite young. You should realize that it is very very likely that even in just a few years you will look back at this as just a memory of an emotionally turbulent time.

In the meantime, realize that playing a game of hiding your feelings, although quite common, doesn't really lead to anything useful. If you know he's not good for you, it's probably best to make a firm decision to let him go. That way he's not "in the way" of you finding someone who's better for you if/when you are ready to do that.
Well Thanks for your anwser, yeah he has act like a coward and I know it he will probably regret it later. Yes that what I try to convince myself it's just hard to face him everyday. I try to distract myself, work on myself change haircut, hobbies hang out with friends but he is always involved in a certain ways and it's exhausting me.

I guess I have to ignore him until graduations but it's harder when your friends still like him anyways, when everybody is convince that we are friends when he cannot come talk to me it's always my move forward so I decided to stop doing that. We are not friend we are nothing anymore.

What do you mean by ''playing a game of hiding your feelings''?

I really don't know if he is rigth for me or not I just have thoses strange feelings that he will come back and sometimes I think he won't because he is a coward. Our relationship could have been saved but I know I can't anymore because he told me he had no longer feeling for me so I guess it's time to give up...

But easy to say than to do and I'm really having a hard time with my health now, I have a lots of regrets...

Last edited by lenreyi; 16th April 2019 at 10:59 AM..
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Old 16th April 2019, 2:19 PM   #4
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He's a teenaged boy. he has no idea how to be in a relationship. You seem mature & sensitive.

Your health has to come 1st. Deal with those issues. They probably were more then he could handle. Sorry.

Focus on school. College isn't that far away. When you are off exploring the world, he'll be a distant memory. I promise.
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Old 16th April 2019, 3:42 PM   #5
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He's a teenaged boy. he has no idea how to be in a relationship. You seem mature & sensitive.

Your health has to come 1st. Deal with those issues. They probably were more then he could handle. Sorry.

Focus on school. College isn't that far away. When you are off exploring the world, he'll be a distant memory. I promise.
Thanks yes I think so too, maybe it's better that way. I can handle myself anyways I will be stong enough, I hope I can. I haven't made him such an important thing for my life these past few months like if I was always prepared for our separation but I was thinking it will happen later when distances would have break us after graduation.
Wherever I go I hurt someone but there's nothing I can do or say that will not change anything.

I cannot just heal, this discease will folow me until the end of my life, right now I feel lonely but I was always alone honestly so I'm okay with that.
I start thinking that it's not that I don't deserve love but more like someone else doesn't deserve to share my painful life.

I'm sorry this sound so tragic, I do my best to be brave.

Last edited by lenreyi; 16th April 2019 at 4:02 PM..
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Old 16th April 2019, 4:13 PM   #6
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He just wasn't old enough to be mature. Unfortunately, there's a long wait for that, like when they're approaching 30. He was not even responsible and it was very hurtful. Honestly, he probably isn't capable of depth of feeling yet and some guys never are.

Just take care of yourself. Then when you're all well, be social with friends and don't give up.
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