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Ex-gf reached out and wished me a happy b-day???


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 13th April 2019, 12:16 AM   #16
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She's hit a dry spell and is looking for some attention. I would not ever reply to this gal. She's shady.
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Old 13th April 2019, 12:39 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jimbo View Post
I donít usually block ppl from texts or phones. I never reached out, but was initially leaving the door open to see what happens. It was pretty shocking to see her back on the online dating site the next day with all brand new pics was a big punch to the gut.
The reality is you let yourself get hung up anytime you get a text/message.

Just like this time. Why waste your time on this?
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Old 13th April 2019, 1:48 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Marc878 View Post
The reality is you let yourself get hung up anytime you get a text/message.

Just like this time. Why waste your time on this?
Just thought it was weird. I was trying to see what the reasoning would be, that is all. I didn't respond and deleted the text. Too many questions and unknowns to jump down this rabbit hole.
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Old 14th April 2019, 9:21 AM   #19
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Hey Jimbo,

She's messing with your head.

I would strongly encourage you not to care what this woman wants and walk away. Don't fool yourself into thinking the Birthday text is her wanting commitment. It's bait to get you to come back and give her what SHE wanted initially from you...FWB. She has clearly demonstrated that her wants are more important than yours so much that she'll ignore your requests of NC to try and reel you back in. She knows what she's doing and she's hoping you'll back down on your own rules and return to her. If you do, she now knows you can't put your foot down on decisions and that she can mess with your head and get what she wants. In the end, she will see you as weak and will never truly respect you as viable partner ever again. Not that you should want a partner like her..because her approach shows she is willing to use insincere tactics to manipulate them into getting what she wants and therefore willing to disrespect someone she supposedly cares about.

Regarding FWB, if you were looking for a longterm commitment, FWB is a slap in the face. You're there to serve her as a boyfriend or a friend at her request. It blurs emotional/physical boundaries and eliminates titles meaning she is free to do whatever she wants to do and can absolve herself of any blame if you become upset at any point. There's no commitment and therefore, no pressure. It's a great deal for her. For you..you'll lose your mind. Because you have unresolved feelings and those very feelings will hook you onto her and keep you hoping for a second chance again. You won't date others because of that same hope. But I doubt very much that second chance will arrive because you've given her everything she wants without her having to commit to you. disrespecting yourself in the process and reducing your value to 0 in her eyes. As time passes, you'll get more and more frustrated. Arguments will begin and increase in number. But again..she'll just dismiss it all with "We're not even in a relationship" because you're the one who agreed to such a sh*tty deal.

You don't want to learn this the hard way.

If you a want a longterm commitment..it'll be found elsewhere.

- Beach
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Last edited by Beachead; 14th April 2019 at 9:44 AM..
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Old 14th April 2019, 3:15 PM   #20
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I will not be responding. I could had dealt with the FWB prior to being exclusive. However, I stopped seeing other women because I felt the most connection with her and I wanted to build something. Aside from my ex-wife, and one other woman, I've not had that connection before and so strong. However, I do not change my mind. I felt extremely disrespected from the vacation travels, her on the dating site with new pics the next day, an the FWB offer after being exclusive was the last nail in the coffin. She may reach out again, but I just cannot. I still feel, and again, I can be wrong, she was messing around behind my back. What she has going for her is that she's smart but very attractive. When I 86'd her after the FWB switch, she spent an hour trying to convenience me to stay in contact and hang out. I would be lying to say that she didn't hurt me by that statement. Basically, I was good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to build something with. I am not a piece of meat. My ex-wife reached out as well as the woman prior to her, I never responded and moved on. If I cannot trust a partner, there's no sense in entertaining anything with them.


I will add, she removed her profile a few days later and hadn't been online since; either have I, but a few of my friends are. In addition, she shown me her profile and messages, and they were blank when she came back. She claimed that she didn't know she was still online, but amazingly, a few days later, all new pics (from Florida). So, who knows what game she's playing. I know she's used to getting her way, but I never gave her that, so maybe that was what kept her around for 7 months. Doesn't really matter, as I just could not trust her after her shenanigans. Those two trips, two weeks apart to the same place in Florida was very suspicious in my eyes. Hard to find a trustworthy partner these days.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 14th April 2019 at 4:00 PM.. Reason: quote removed
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Old 14th April 2019, 7:26 PM   #21
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@Jimbo

I'm the same way. If I can't trust someone, I'm out. I can't be with someone I'm always going to second guess. It'll erode my well-being.

I know this stuff hurts. The disappointment. The realization that another person has let us down. The dating scene is a mess today so I agree with you. There is a big issue of narcissism, ghosting, breaking up via text messaging, numerous social media sites giving multiple avenues for people to have online affairs.

Anyway, you seem to have as strong sense of what you want as well self-respect for yourself. I know that's going to be your best defence against people like this. Keep your head up and keep going.

- Beach
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