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Ex girlfriend and i split. I'm kinda hurting.


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 30th March 2019, 1:00 PM   #1
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Ex girlfriend and i split. I'm kinda hurting.

So my ex and I have been together for about 8 months. Honestly, after a few months in, it started taking a toll on me how clingy she was. I would always have to call her on my break and how I always have to sleepover every night. If Icouldn't, she would just get upset over it.

So i was busy with my family celebrating my birthday. I had plans to see her right after and she got very upset that I didnt answer my phone so she canceled the night on me. She always gets upset with me whenever I csnt do something that benefits her.

Anyways, she broke up with me 2 weeks ago because i told her I wouldnt fight for someone to stay with me. If she wants to go she can go.

Right after that, she asked for all her gifts back.

I gave everything back to her. Left it at her apartment door and messaged her telling her I left it there and wishing her the best out of life."
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Old 30th March 2019, 5:42 PM   #2
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Didn't see that one coming. Sort of like a movie with a twist ending where the good guy is really the bad guy or something like that.
She seems to be the clingy, anxious personality style. There are lots of them out there and if you get involved with one, you need to maintain your level of comfort and distance while acknowledging their insecurities and helping them deal with it. In other words, you don't sleep over every nite if you don't want to, you don't call on every break if you don't want to, that's simply feeding and perpetuating the anxiety rather than helping the person deal with it and will lead to resentment on your part.

That much being said I'm rather surprised such a needy, clingy, anxious attachment style person would dump their relationship partner as she did to you. Typically it's the other way around, the person being forced to conform to satisfy the unreasonable needs of the anxious clingy partner usually reaches their limit and bows out.

There must be other factors at play. Even if you aren't aware of them.
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Old 30th March 2019, 6:22 PM   #3
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I think this split was for the best. She cancelled your birthday plans because she didn't hear from you while she knew you were out celebrating with your family?

God forbid you actually lose your phone or experience a real emergency.

Unless you feel like enabling someone's neurosis, I suggest you continue to try to move on.

I think she's been very unreasonable and unfair here.
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Old 30th March 2019, 6:29 PM   #4
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Birthdays are dicey. Now, yes, she was too clingy, having to have you there every night, no dispute. But why wouldn't SHE be invited to you celebrating your birthday with your parents? See, I think this is what made her mad. Still not treating her like family. Unless she opted not to go.
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Old 30th March 2019, 8:54 PM   #5
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Birthdays are dicey. Now, yes, she was too clingy, having to have you there every night, no dispute. But why wouldn't SHE be invited to you celebrating your birthday with your parents? See, I think this is what made her mad. Still not treating her like family. Unless she opted not to go.
She actually had plans before and was getting her house ready because she was having another friend coming over.

The birthday party that my family threw was really unexpected.
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Old 31st March 2019, 3:46 AM   #6
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The birthday party that my family threw was really unexpected.
Your family didn't coordinate and include her?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 12:42 PM   #7
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I feel so bad! Ex and I split

My ex and I were together for about 8 and a half months. Just like every relationship, the first few months were magical. I legitimately felt as if she can be the one for me. She did a lot of things that all my other ex's didn't do. She would drive to my house to take care of me. She would drive me to work and all that stuff.

When she moved into her new place, things started to go downhill. It literally felt as if she wanted me to do everything she wanted to do. If she had errands I had t o follow her with the errands. One day, my aunt had a birthday party and so did her brother. She wanted me to ditch my family just to go with her to her brothers birthday party. She wanted me to spend christmas with her family, like there was no form of discussion at all. She ditched me on my birthday because i wasn't quick enough to reply. I was busy with my mom and aunt and my girlfriend was getting stuff ready at her place for my birthday.

In addition, prior to her moving, we were having lunch one day and I told her that my job may require me to travel for a brief moment. Maybe 2 weeks at most. She replied telling me "don't ever expect me to open my doors for you if you do get a job like that. I need a lot of attention"

Yes, it seems she was quite toxic but that wasn't all.

One day, we got into an argument and I told her that I would never plead for someone to stay with me. They left and there is nothing I can do to fight for someone to stay with me. It's ultimately their decision. So she decided to leave and then she asked for all her gifts back!

I unblocked her on my phone and then I left her gifts at her apartment door a few weeks after we broke up because i was sick and texted her "left it at your door. good luck with your future endeavors." and left. then blocked her again

Until this day, I feel terrible for not giving it to her in person. I know if i gave it to her in person she would argue with me.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 12:48 PM   #8
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Until this day, I feel terrible for not giving it to her in person.

You need to work on that.
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Old 6th April 2019, 2:03 PM   #9
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Wow what an abusive psycho!! Be glad you rid yourself of her, she wreaks of emotional abusiveness. Best to find someone who isn't demanding and needy like that, it would have only gotten worse.
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Old 13th April 2019, 4:09 PM   #10
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Is it natural to feel bad after a break up?

Anyways, I kinda made my ex break up with me. In a sense, I am the dumper and the dumpee. Right after, I blocked her on everything. Social media, phone, everything. Occasionally, I do feel bad about it. it hurts me.
Last time we broke up, she said it really destroyed her that I blocked her on everything. I'm just trying to move on with my life and I can't keep seeing her on instagram and such. Or even getting phone calls.

Just needed to rant.

But is it natural for me to feel bad?
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Old 13th April 2019, 5:01 PM   #11
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It would be weird if you didn't feel bad. It's okay to go no contact like that so you can feel bad a lesser amount of time and move on.
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Old 13th April 2019, 6:50 PM   #12
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Making someone break up with you is pretty low and feeling bad afterwards shows that you recognise your actions were poor. Use this as a learning experience: make a vow to act with integrity in the future and then forgive yourself.
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