littlelovebird Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 (edited) My ex left me while I was starting a very difficult year of school. We had been together for more than 5 years and also lived together for some time. I thought everything was going ok, hoping we would maybe get married in a few years, but then when he broke the news to me that he didn't want to be together anymore and I had a mental breakdown. Had to move out in the middle of school and find a new place, and have decided not to talk to him since. He says I didn't do anything wrong, he was never bad to me, he just wasn't sure if he wanted to stay with me. We were each others' first real relationship. We are no contact at the time being, but I often wonder how I should feel about all of this. I've been suppressing it all so that I can cope with the demands of school. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I feel mad, sometimes I beat myself up. If you were me how would you feel? Do I have a right to be upset? Any suggestions on how to cope with it without sacrificing my performance in school? Edited March 15, 2019 by littlelovebird Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 I'm so sorry for what you're going through, OP. Truth is, though, that most of us have been through some variation of the situation you've presented here. I was crushed when my husband of many years decided to leave. My faith in God and the support of my father and a few friends got me through it. I read my Bible and prayed everyday and that gave me incredible strength I never would have had otherwise. It was still very tough, though. You just have to walk through it. You are going to get through it. And it's wonderful that you're training for a career so that you aren't going to be financially dependent on the guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 You have the right to feel however you feel, OP. However, that doesn't get you anywhere. This isn't about who is right or wrong, and as you're seeing, break-ups do not need the endorsement of both parties. He is doing what feels right for him, however painful that decision might be for you. Being "right" about being upset doesn't change anything or gain you some sort of advantage. Break-ups very rarely happen at a convenient time for both people, and very rarely are met with full acceptance by both. It's an awful feeling, and most of us here can sympathize with the pain of losing your first real relationship. It's not fun. Take your recovery slowly, and be kind to yourself in the process. Link to post Share on other sites
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