Trying to be strong

[Ramslady]

Hi everyone, I’m new here to the group. I just recently broke up with my ex for many many reasons. We were together for almost three years. I thought he was the one but unfortunately so much bad has happened where I felt I needed to walk away. He has been both physical and verbally abusive. The verbal abuse has been going on a lot more lately. Last week we had a great talk where I thought we were on the same page and he actually understood where I was coming from. Then just days ago, after not speaking for almost a week. He ask am I sure I want this. I reply yes I need to work on myself. He gets mad and says “**** you” and **** your healing. I don’t respond. Then last night texts me, calling me a bitch and a cunt. As I type this I’m starting to cry because these words hurt so much and I wish I could just not let it bother me. I feel so lost and hurt. I’m trying so hard to be strong but feel like I’m breaking down. Sorry this is long. I left out a lot. Just feeling so sad and lost.

[preraph]

He's just a bully. You can't reason with him. He does not care enough in the right way to try to change-- and honestly, you can't expect people to change much. You need to feel proud of yourself for getting out. It was a brave and necessary move. Now, block him on everything and don't follow his social media or any of that. Wash your hands of him. And watch your back. Abusers sometimes come after you. I hope you have a safe place to be, preferably where he can't find you and have some protection. Don't hesitate to call the police. If he keeps bothering you, put in writing in an email "Do not contact me further." and then keep that email because in case you have to call police or get a restraining order, you have to first show you told him to leave you alone. Log anything else he does, drive-by, threats, calls, anything after you've told him go away. Good luck.

[assertives]

You are doing the right thing in breaking up with him. He is definitely not the one. Block him so that his hurtful insults and abuse do not get to you. Heal and please move on from this person.

 

I hate to make sweeping statements like these but people like them are not likely to change. The abuse is only going to get much worse as time go by and well into marriage and then the abuse gets passed down to the kids. My father is also a very emotionally abusive man. He's now in his 70s and is still abusive.

 

Go NC and block him. Hang out with your friends or family and get yourself busy to distract you from thinking of him.