Ex wanting info?

[Gravypod]

I broke up with my a few weeks ago. It was mutual but looking back I think she lost i terest a while back. After we broke up I sent her a letter saying how I still feel about etc and left it at that. I went quiet for a while and then I sent her a message to ask if there was a chance we could sort things out. I needed to know so I could move on. She said at the moment no. I took that as a no. We stopped talking and that was that.

A few days later I put up in Facebook about a new job I have been offered. She liked the post (she stopped liking my stuff) and then a few hours later sent me a message. She asked me about it, she wanted to know what and where. I thought this was a bit strange? Once she I had told her she didn't reply until the next day when I shut it off again. She hasn't messaged since.

Do you think she was merely just interested to know, I mean I don't know if I would do the same, we are not together anymore. I even asked her to try again and she said no so why would she be so Interested?

Should I ignore her now?

[d0nnivain]

She was being polite as a way of easing her conscience. She knows she hurt you & this was her way of trying to be nice. It is not an indication that she wants to reconcile.

 

You need to unfriend her on all social media platforms.

 

Best wishes with your new job.

[Gravypod]

So she was just being polite and not that interested?

I have blocked her on everything now.

Edited March 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote removed

[d0nnivain]

She was being polite by expressing an interest in your new job. To her, you getting a new job was you moving forward. She no longer has to worry that she wounded you so much you became dysfunctional. In her mind she's off the hook for hurting you.

 

I'm sure part of her is a good person. That is why you were together in the 1st place so she could genuinely want you to do well. That is a far cry from wanting to continue the romantic relationship.

 

It's sort of a cruel to be kind thing. She is being nice & offering friendship but you have false hope that she wants to get back together. In the long run, her kindness hurts you more.

 

It's best that you disconnect on all platforms. Delete her out of your phone & off your e-mail. Unfriend / unfollow on all social media.

[Gravypod]

Thank you I just need to carry on and forget

Edited March 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote removed

[Normm]

The breakup wasn't mutual. Clearly she is the dumper and you are the dumpee. Regardless of what your need to preserve self esteem may lead you to believe. One thing that is important for getting over it and moving on is to be honest with yourself. Denial shields the body from pain but doesn't promote healing.

[Gravypod]

Yeah. She lost interest clearly. I feel bad for that.

I'm going over in my head trying to work out where and what went wrong. No matter how many time she I tried asking I couldn't really get an answer. We had our ups and downs like any relationship but I wanted to and tried to work through them. Unfortunately it wasn't to be.

Edited March 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote removed

[Gravypod]

Why would an ex suddenly use social media more after a break up? Posting selfies and showing off how busy she is?

Is it some sort of ego thing?

[Lone Blue]

Plenty of reasons.

 

Maybe she’s celebrating her singledom, maybe she wants you to know she’s better off without you, maybe she’s hoping to make you jealous. At the end of the day though, does it really matter? You two aren’t together anymore.

[ExpatInItaly]

Single and ready to mingle.

 

She's back on the market and hoping to attract a new guy.

[Marc878]

No contact means no contact. Quit the pain shopping.

 

Don't grasp at straws either

[Highndry]

Why would an ex suddenly use social media more after a break up? Posting selfies and showing off how busy she is?

Is it some sort of ego thing?

 

 

The real question is "why are you looking?"

[Gravypod]

The real question is "why are you looking?"

 

 

It's hard though it's getting easier.

I still love her, I still want her. But I can't control her feelings neither would I want to.

She still has pics of me in her facbeook, views my stories etc.

We last spoke a month ago when she didn't reply to my last text. I haven't contacted since. Her social media is busy and she's posting a lot more than usual. Almost showing off.

 

After breaking up I asked to try and sort things out. She said she thought at the time it's better not to. The last contact I had was I told her if she needed anything to get in touch.

If she wanted to, she would text me right?

Should I just leave her be like I'm doing now?

[ExpatInItaly]

After breaking up I asked to try and sort things out. She said she thought at the time it's better not to. The last contact I had was I told her if she needed anything to get in touch.

If she wanted to, she would text me right?

Should I just leave her be like I'm doing now?

 

She has given you no indication that you two will be reuniting, unfortunately.

 

Yes, she would be in touch with directly if she had a change of heart. I would strongly advise you to block her on social media, unless you want to someday wake up and find a photo of her with the next guy she dates.

[Gravypod]

She has given you no indication that you two will be reuniting, unfortunately.

 

Yes, she would be in touch with directly if she had a change of heart. I would strongly advise you to block her on social media, unless you want to someday wake up and find a photo of her with the next guy she dates.

 

I understand.

 

I have been thinking a lot of the last few weeks. Ultimately I think my behaviour turned her off. I think I was too caring. I had personally problems last year and that knocked my confidence quite a lot and I think I became too 'weak'. And with her starting to loose interest I could see it and panicked I guess and that made me feel even less confident.

 

I feel I want to tell her this, to let her know o realise I changed but should I? Or will it make me look even more pathetic? I haven't begged her to come back, I asked once and haven't asked again. I have also made no attempts to contact since she last read and reply to my message. I know it's easy to say just move on and I'm trying but this girl made a big impression on me, everyone I have spoken to have said I'm better without her but I don't see it. Yes she treated me badly towards the end but it was because she was unhappy, but for some reason couldn't bring herself to tell me the full reasons.

 

I'm also pretty sure she is feeling resentful too me. If I posted something on social media she soon posts something herself almost trying to better herself over me. Or a look at me type post.

[Morello]

Yes, any attempt to logically explain to her what happened will just turn her off even more and make you look even weaker. Women are driven by emotions. There are no words you can say that would make her feel something positive for you at this stage.

 

She broke up with you, so the way to show you are strong is to leave her live with her decision and just go live your life and find another woman to date when you feel ready again. Don't give her a second thought.

 

Also, sending a letter to someone who broke up with you did you a huge disservice. Don't ever do that again. It certainly just made you look weaker in her eyes. Letters in those situations act like repellents.

Edited April 1, 2019 by Morello

[Gravypod]

Yes, any attempt to logically explain to her what happened will just turn her off even more and make you look even weaker. Women are driven by emotions. There are no words you can say that would make her feel something positive for you at this stage.

 

She broke up with you, so the way to show you are strong is to leave her live with her decision and just go live your life and find another woman to date when you feel ready again. Don't give her a second thought.

 

Also, sending a letter to someone who broke up with you did you a huge disservice. Don't ever do that again. It certainly just made you look weaker in her eyes. Letters in those situations act like repellents.

 

Thanks. I guess she broke up with me yes, alrhuit was a joint thing but I could see she wasn't happy, I tried to fix things bit she wouldn't see me. Eventually I felt I had no choice. I guess I helped her out in that respect. I sent the letter when I was very hurt. I felt I needed to just to tell her how I feel. I realise this was a mistake. The same as asking her to try again I guess. After that I haven't asked again or mentioned the relationship. She as contactes me twice since. Then stops.

I'm getting on and working on myself, I have realised my mistakes and how to improve myself, I just wish I realised sooner but she was giving me signs of no interest and I guess I panicked in the fact I was realising I was losing her.