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On the importance of NO CONTACT


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freedomandlove

This is my opinion based entirely on my last experience.

 

Of course, No Contact is for dumpees to recover and heal, but it is also useful if you want your exes back.

 

Like many of you, I have been pleading my ex to come back.

 

Yesterday I sent her flowers and today she texted me to thank. She also told me she will contact me when she will know I am over her, probably to be friends...

 

I just realized that if you don't scare your exes they will never be back cause they know you are there and they can take you back whenever they want.

 

Unfortunately, fear runs the world!

 

So, IMHO, state to your exes clearly that you still love them and than just back off!

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I sent flowers to after a recent break up with my baby mama. We were together for 4 years. After two days I regretted sending her flowers. She told me the friend line etc.

 

Truth is she cheated and is with someone else. I did LC cause of the kid. I realized I don’t want her at all, it took 3 weeks. I’m still battling the good thoughts of nostalgia but to be honest if she ever came back I’d say no.

 

So to answer your question it might work for an ex to come back, but the reality is would you want them to?

 

Why would you want to be friends? Chances are she has no respect for you and doesn’t value you. What she will be as friends is “hey no gtg good to see you”. This is all from her guilt. I would not tell them you love them and back off. It’s better to agree with them, if I were you I’d send her an apology for flowers and that she is totally right about the break up after some thinking, and it won’t happen again... then disappear.. in your mind run like a kid from a monster down the dark street and never look back!

 

When do they come back? When they value you again, and respect you. This is done by you becoming a better person than you are. That’s the NC period. That’s why everyone says it’s for you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

In my case, every ex I've ever had has wanted to come back ,at some point.

 

Except for the guy I dated 3 months who got married last year.

 

But..most of my exes have, including my exhusband, after our divorce.

 

No contact and moving on with your life is not just the best thing for you, but will also spur them to hit you up at some point. Probably by then, you won't want them anymore. But it kinda feels good to say no lol

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