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my ex is probably a narcissist


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 10th March 2019, 11:38 PM   #31
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Join Date: Oct 2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Commongoal123 View Post
Does it matter what he thinks either way? You said you don't want to be with him anymore. If you objectively look at this situation, why do you care if what he says he truly believes or just said them to hurt you?

The only person with that answer is him. Nobody on here does. All we have are guesses.

I don't mean to come across as uncaring or inconsiderate. I have been in your position before, and I know how you are feeling. After 4 relationships with women who have, in the end, said and did horrible things, I've had similar questions in my mind as you do now, and it mattered.

After the 4th girl, I'm here to tell you that it doesn't matter.

What this person thinks of you doesn't matter.

Projection is a bitch. But see it as that. If your friends truly know and care about you, it won't matter what he says or doesn't say to them.

If it does matter to some of them, consider yourself blessed to know who your real friends are after the damage is done.
Hey, thanks for your perspective! I guess my reason for wondering about his thoughts and behavior post-breakup comes down to the fact that I wanted validation that he is a good person at heart (as I believed for years). I spent an enormous amount of time and energy throughout our relationship trying to encourage him to be better and kinder, but in the end, he still chose the opposite. I had always hoped my kindness for others would make an impression on him and how he treated others, but how he treated me at the end--his supposed best friend and potential future wife-- proved it had never at all. It was a slap in the face, truthfully. It made me feel like I had failed, and at the time I created this thread, I know I was just searching for something to tell me that I hadn't--maybe he will acknowledge his ill behavior and apologize; maybe he will ultimately choose good over bad. He hasn't and I know he won't. The reason why will still remain a mystery for me, I guess. It's okay though, I'm not heartbroken over it.

Last edited by sunflower24; 10th March 2019 at 11:46 PM..
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