Got my ex back after 4 months

[Grisha]

I’ve been posting a lot on here about my ex and what happened between us.

 

She broke up with me after 7 months because of a guy that came back into her life who had previously left her. They had no sexual history because they met online, and chatted for 5 months. She claims they were both very into spirituality and she believed he was the one. Her and I have known each other for 3 years, but I was in another relationship so the timing wasn’t right until 3 months after she met that guy online her and I went out for some drinks.. basically she had feelings for him but also had feelings for me.. after 5 months that guy randomly stoppped communicating with her. She never pursued him much but I guess it stuck with her.

 

She started dating me fully but I could feel for whatever reason she seemed distant but she never told me why. After 7 months of being together she cut it off with me because he started pursing her again and it made her feel confused because she loved me and all but because she didn’t feel 100% fully invested into me she felt that it wasn’t right or okay so we split.

 

I came across Corey Wayne and began reading his stuff and understanding how attraction works so I completely let go and gave her space.

She would try to have a conversation every week or so but I always kept things short. I knew she would come back because I knew she would realize how dumb she was being. I knew that that guy was playing the best attraction technique in the book by doing what he did by leaving her in the cold for months with no reason and imI knew that once she started talking to him she would completely lose that level of attraction for him.

 

That’s exactly what happened. After 2 months she began pursuing me a lot more and I still kept my distance because I wasn’t going to let her back in my life just like that.

She’s ignoring him now because it got old.

 

So last night I asked her out for the first time since we broke up and she accepted. I ended up staying the night at her place and we had sedans everything felt like it used to. Last night was when she told me about the guy and how dumb she felt and that she cut him out a few months ago. I’m being very cautious and definitely not going to give her myself completely like I did before, but I feel like we will workout because

1. This was a guy who she had feelings for BEFORE her and I started seeing each other.

2. They never met up or anything so I don’t feel like she betrayed me that much. She told me she was being incredibly honest with herself and me at the time of breakup and that she wasn’t even sure what she was doing.

3. We got along great and we never argued or anything negative.

 

I plan to take things slow and allow her to chase me at her pace until time completely wipes her last away from her. After reading Corey Wayne I now understand that I can’t ever allow her to feel like she has me completely. I need to stay on my own path and never give her too much of myself until she completely falls in love with me and even then I need to match her interest.

Anyways. I put Corey Wayne’s method to the test and it worked out. Even if women tell you that stuff won’t work.. it really will because it’s all subconscious and women don’t know what they want lol

Edited February 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Marc878]

It remains to be seen what you got back doesn't it.

 

"She never really betrayed me that much"? Sounds like denial on your part

 

Good luck

[Grisha]

It remains to be seen what you got back doesn't it.

 

"She never really betrayed me that much"? Sounds like denial on your part

 

Good luck

 

I’ve never been in a situation where someone I loved loved had feelings for someone else.. people have been telling me to never get back with an ex but I feel like sometimes there’s exceptions and because this was a guy who came right before me, it’s not the same as her falling for a guy after me. I can’t trust someone who falls for a guy after falling for me.

Loyalty is everything.

That’s why I’m just going to go slow and continue focusing on myself until ik she’s 100% invested in me.

These next few months will tell a lot.

[Blanco]

I like some of Wayne's stuff, but where some of material falters is when applied to a long-term monogamous relationship. I agree that it's better for people not to come on too strongly, but once you're in a LTR, you can't really continue to do the aloof, kind of in but kind of out stuff that you used to initially attract and entice her.

 

To me, it kind of sounds like she tend to be more interested in someone she doesn't believe she can have or whose interest in her is tepid. It'll be interesting to see how things unfold with you two. I personally don't think I could feel fulfilled in a relationship where both of us continue to pull back, intentionally or not, to reignite interest.

[Grisha]

I like some of Wayne's stuff, but where some of material falters is when applied to a long-term monogamous relationship. I agree that it's better for people not to come on too strongly, but once you're in a LTR, you can't really continue to do the aloof, kind of in but kind of out stuff that you used to initially attract and entice her.

 

To me, it kind of sounds like she tend to be more interested in someone she doesn't believe she can have or whose interest in her is tepid. It'll be interesting to see how things unfold with you two. I personally don't think I could feel fulfilled in a relationship where both of us continue to pull back, intentionally or not, to reignite interest.

 

The reason I believe in the pull back and not seem as interested stuff is because the one relationship that the girl has be crazy about me was my 4 year relationship where I wasn’t as into her. Like I’d hangout with my friends, focus on myself, give her 1-2 days a week.

All of that came natural to me because I knew she wasn’t going anywhere which gave me confidence and kept her coming.

BUT she got to the point where she started seeing attention elsewhere and starting picking fights over every little thing which lead to 2-3 day breakups and shed end up doing things with other men then would come back to me...

I didn’t take her back after a couple instances and she became very very pursistant in trying to get back with me but I was done for good.

Took her over a year to move on.

I should have given her 2-3 days and taken her out somewhere once a week.

Showed more interest during sex.

Listened to her more

Not argue with her. (Stand my ground and not get emotional)

 

I’ve been with 3 women who were drop dead gorgeous but I was much different with them. I texted them all the time. Was always available.

But those relationships only lasted 4-8 months so idk..

[ExpatInItaly]

It remains to be seen what you got back doesn't it.

 

"She never really betrayed me that much"? Sounds like denial on your part

 

Good luck

 

This.

 

OP, it's been one night. You're not exactly in a position yet to say that you are back together and thriving.

 

Women like your ex don't know what they want. It's a fallacy to assume women in general are like her and that you (or Corey Wayne, or anyone else) know women better than we know ourselves. This applies to human relationships in general. Making the assumption that you are in a better position to read someone's mind than that person is to show you and tell you what they want, well...it's likely to lead you to problems. Don't let your ego get ahead of you.

 

Do be cautious with your heart and don't put the cart before the horse, which seems to already be happening. This girl has shown you she is not reliable so try to keep some perspective and be realistic.

[Grisha]

This.

 

OP, it's been one night. You're not exactly in a position yet to say that you are back together and thriving.

 

Women like your ex don't know what they want. It's a fallacy to assume women in general are like her and that you (or Corey Wayne, or anyone else) know women better than we know ourselves. This applies to human relationships in general. Making the assumption that you are in a better position to read someone's mind than that person is to show you and tell you what they want, well...it's likely to lead you to problems. Don't let your ego get ahead of you.

 

Do be cautious with your heart and don't put the cart before the horse, which seems to already be happening. This girl has shown you she is not reliable so try to keep some perspective and be realistic.

 

I agree. This time I’m not expecting much. I’m more so living in the moment and not looking for anything serious with her or anyone unless they show me complete openness and commitment.

And again.

This girl in particular always told me she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with me because she wasn’t able to give me 100%.

I kept telling her I didn’t mind and to just go with the flow which worked out for us.

After 7 months I admit I started acting more serious and wanting more from her.

She again told me I deserve someone that can be 100% with me and I got upset and told her I did deserve that so we broke up.

I told her to not come back unless she can give me 100%.

So now that she’s not interested in this man and she is pursuing me I feel that it makes sense that she is ready. She’s acting a lot different now. Instead of being so spiritual the way she used to be. She is now wanting to learn more about business and how I am able to succeed with money. She’s saving money and slowly getting her life together and she told me she’s motivated and a big reason for this change is me.

If she were to leave me again for whatever reason, I will move on faster because I’ll know that she has no loyalty.

[ExpatInItaly]

So now that she’s not interested in this man and she is pursuing me I feel that it makes sense that she is ready.

 

Not really. It makes more sense that she sees you as her back-up plan between other guys.

 

OP, I do hope you come out of this relatively unscathed. You seem like a nice guy but with a terrible picker when it comes to women.