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Getting Back Together After Not Seeing Common Future


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 3rd February 2019, 4:29 PM   #1
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Getting Back Together After Not Seeing Common Future

A bit of a back story... Three months ago, my ex (18yo) of 2 years (8 months normal, 12 months LDR) broke up with me (20yo) saying she has doubts about seeing us getting married in the future because of our differences in beliefs and culture (I am Russian Orthodox Christian and she is Canadian and just spiritual) and some political views (she is very liberal whereas I am centrist). Although I was aware of these, I always believed that if two people truly love each other (and I loved her more than anything) they would look past their differences and build their relationship and lives on their similarities (we were very similar and compatible as people, never even had any fights in our 2 years together), so to me, the differences she is speaking of did not really matter, but either way, I still offered to work out our differences if she is so concerned about marriage (even though we are at a young age). To my surprise, she rejected the offer and replied that she is just too young to be with just one guy for the rest of her life anyway and would like to explore other relationships as she is really curious as to how she fits with other people and if she'd fit in better with other partners.

My questions to you folks are:
1) Is this more of a GIGS break-up (as I did offer to work through her doubts about marriage, but she rejected it), or is it more about her not seeing future with me?
2) Have any of you or do you know of anyone that broke up because they couldn't see a future with that person but then got back together? Do you guys think it is a possibility considering we are both very young?
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Old 3rd February 2019, 4:37 PM   #2
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I'm sorry, OP, but I couldn't get past how you considered yourself a 'centrist' yet professed to being a Russian Orthodox Christian, the two designations are incompatible.

I think she did you both a real service by ending it sooner rather than later as your values, world views, and lifestyles are not a good match.
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Old 3rd February 2019, 5:11 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyWeather View Post
I'm sorry, OP, but I couldn't get past how you considered yourself a 'centrist' yet professed to being a Russian Orthodox Christian, the two designations are incompatible.
Hi SunnyWeather, do you also happen to think that people of Muslim faith cannot be Democrats because Democrats are too liberal? My faith has nothing to do with politics. Sounds to me like you've got some negative stereotypes...
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Old 3rd February 2019, 5:38 PM   #4
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sorry OP, you're using a false equivalency. By it's very deeply ingrained meaning, Orthodox-anything connotes a belief system--political and religious--that is counter to your description of your ex's world view. You can't have it both ways. In an Orthodox system, the female is subservient to the ruling patriarchy, whose very nature is ultra conservative. Further, that doctrine also espouses that those who don't adhere to that system, are doomed for eternity, and espouse religious law over man-made.

This has nothing to do with what you unjustly called my 'negative stereotypes', but rather, the accepted interpretation of the very meaning of the terms you used. It also speaks to your own conflicting views at the core of your nature.

Maybe you need to reconcile those within yourself first to get clear on what type of partner you want.
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Old 3rd February 2019, 5:40 PM   #5
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Nope. This is more about her being 18. She wants to explore & figure out lots of things.
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Old 3rd February 2019, 5:51 PM   #6
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Hi SunnyWeather,
I appreciate your comment but I strongly disagree with what you are saying. As I do not want this thread to turn into a political debate, I will just agree to disagree. Thank you for your input.
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Old 3rd February 2019, 6:07 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plukic View Post
saying she has doubts about seeing us getting married in the future because of our differences in beliefs and culture
My comments were not made for a "political debate"--you went there-- but were rather pointing out and detailing a more in-depth version of how I perceived what she herself-- according to what you reported here--said were her reasons for breaking it off.

I'd take her at her word for it. It might be helpful on your next attempt at coupling.
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Old 4th February 2019, 4:31 AM   #8
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She is too young and inexperienced with life to settle down, OP. She's been with you since she was just 16. Most teen relationships evenutally do fizzle out, as people grow and change.

Even if you had had similar religious and political views, the chances of this relationship lasting forever were slim.
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