Ralph Garcie Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Hey everyone, So, I met a girl and she seemed perfect. She treated me better than any girl in the past. She told me that she was bipolar. She said that she was on medication and that she didn't have any episodes. Months went by and I started falling for her. She called me very distressed one evening from the restaurant she manages. She was always very careful to only put one pill of her bipolar medication in her purse each night that she went to work but had gotten in a hurry this day and threw the whole bottle in. Unfortunately, a member of her staff stole her meds. She tried to get a new prescription from her doctor but he said no. Over the next few days I saw things change for the worse in her and by day 5 she broke off our relationship. Her break up text went like this: Well. I'm getting interview for salary this week. Then I'm going to be sent off to a store near @#$%^& for training for 5 weeks. I don't know if right now is a good time for me to be in a relationship. with everything I have going on between work, home and starting school and my therapist telling me I'm not mentally in a good place to be focused on a lot right now. I replied: (after a few hours of "WHAT THE HELL... IS THIS A JOKE") I hope you are able to work through these things. Good luck with your interview and training. After a few more back and fourths it ended with her saying this: Your ****ing awesome. I want you to know this isn't about you personally at all. I have some crap to work through that I thought was through, and with more responsibilities being tacked on, I feel like I can't be there like I should be. It's not fair to you at all bc you aren't going to get my 100% which is what you deserve. That was a couple of weeks ago. We have talked since then. I told her about all the things that I hadn't told her in our relationship. All good things like where I saw it going and the plans I had for us. She did like that but nothing feels the same. She feels very distant. She doesn't say much. Even if she is the one to initiate contact. In my light stalking (shame) I have seen that she has stayed up for several days in a row. I stopped looking after 3 days. She has been sick... throwing up and diarrhea. Things have been said about a loss of coordination. Lastly I heard of her kicking a guy in the balls for hugging her... (she recently separated her shoulder). This is nothing like the girl I know. From my research it looks like it may be as much as 2 more weeks for her to get a new prescription. After that it looks like it can be as much as 6-8 weeks before she levels out. I would like to see if we could get our great relationship back going but I'm also a little scared. So, right now I'm on a 70 day plan of no contact. This doesn't mean I can't be polite if she contacts me but I create no contact and I have unfriended her on facebook so I don't have to look at her posts (she posts a lot) So what does everyone think? Should I stick it out or run? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 properly medicated - stick it out not on meds - run (and fast) Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Very strange story about her losing her meds. Does it seem even likely anyone would want to steal bipolar meds to you? Just know that some bipolars do not like giving up their manic highs and that she may have chosen that path. Also possible something triggered her. Also possible the more mundane, that she became interested in someone else and is just lying her way out of the relationship. I guess all you can do is wait and see if she ever contacts you or not. I mean, who knows if she goes back on the meds or not. If so and she knows she messed up, she'll be back. If not, I say it's more complex and beyond your control. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Just know that some bipolars do not like giving up their manic highs... once you've hit the manic high you'll probably go psychotic. it is the hypomanic phase that many bipolars crave. in the hypomanic phase you can still function but you have an elevated mood. in the manic phase you can't function 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Exactly how long have you been together? You said "months." Two months? Eighteen months? Makes a difference in the advice you will receive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ralph Garcie Posted February 2, 2019 Author Share Posted February 2, 2019 It was just a little more than 3 months. Something I forgot to add to the story is the night before she broke things off she posted a picture on facebook of two people sitting on the beach together with the girl saying to the guy. Forget me so we can meet again. Also, she was pushing for the I love stage and to move in... I thought it was too early. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ralph Garcie Posted February 3, 2019 Author Share Posted February 3, 2019 Very strange story about her losing her meds. Does it seem even likely anyone would want to steal bipolar meds to you? Just know that some bipolars do not like giving up their manic highs and that she may have chosen that path. Also possible something triggered her. Also possible the more mundane, that she became interested in someone else and is just lying her way out of the relationship. I guess all you can do is wait and see if she ever contacts you or not. I mean, who knows if she goes back on the meds or not. If so and she knows she messed up, she'll be back. If not, I say it's more complex and beyond your control. She never said that she was having a relapse. I figured that out for myself... if I'm correct Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 If you strip away the bipolar and the meds, it reads “It’s not you, it’s me”. Sounds like a million other breakups so I will give the same advice: State your terms (you would love to try again), then walk away and never look back. And don’t settle for anything but a romantic relationship. Don’t be her friend. Regardless of her mental state, she lost feelings for you because her interest level dropped. Go out and meet other women. If (a BIG if) she comes back, decide what you want to do then. Don’t put your life on hold for someone who threw you out with the trash. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 seems like you were chosen to play the part of rescuer in her life if she was managing a restaurant, she was not that ill, for she aced the interview and got the job so avoid her girl-in-a-whirl performance Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 You’re talking about being with someone who will be dependent on drugs for the rest of her life. And if she doesn’t have those drugs, she goes far off the deep-end. Do you really want this in your life, year after year? If you have children together, do you really want this person as their mother? It may seem like a harsh way to be but this type of situation is disastrous over the long-term and it would be a complete dealbreaker for me. I’ve known people who were diagnosed as bi-polar and their lives are one drama after another. They can’t maintain a job and they have highly addictive personalities. Your gf probably didn’t have her medication stolen, she’s probably addicted to some other type of drug and she’s lying to you. Even if she’s telling the truth, you’re getting a preview of what life will be like with her, of what type of genes that will be passed down to your children. While you can have compassion for people like this, it doesn’t mean you need to involve them in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 5, 2019 Share Posted February 5, 2019 You can do better. Much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts