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Totally stuck after being dumped

Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 29th January 2019, 4:07 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2019
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Totally stuck after being dumped

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I wanted to share my story with you, in hope to find some good advices or seeing someone else's perspective.

So, my girl broke up with me exactly 1 month ago after 5 years, we are both 21 years old. The breakup wasn't very bad, it's not like we were angry and yelled at each other, she just told me she didn't love me anymore and she felt like our relationship had to end.
I dealt very good with the griefing stage, even if I chased her in the first 3 days and cried a lot in front of her begging her to give me another chance. I then recognized it was just pushing her farther away and stopped it. After that I still missed her and wanted her back so bad, but I managed to never start a real conversation about our relationship. My NC wasn't successful, I never managed not to contact her for more than 2 days. I went to her house more times in this period, everytime with an excuse like "I need to give you this" or "I need that thing back", she was always cold towards me, but I never showed her I missed her and I was sad.
After this I started getting a better person, I bought new clothes, I started hanging out with my friend more often and made new friends, I had a new haircut and stuff like that.
Then one afternoon she told me she wanted to talk, and I told hr to come to me. This is things started getting strange.
She came, my parents weren't home, the first thing she did when she entered my house was kissing me. We ended up having sex, then we went out to eat something. At that point she started to do all the things I hate: she smoked 3 cigarettes in 10 minutes, she was constantly textig at the phone, she received a call from her mom and yelled at her. So when I took her back home, before she went away, I told her that I thought I would have seen a beter person out of her after 3 weeks, but all I had seen was a worse one, and I didn't know whether I still loved her or not. She seemed very sorry about that. Since that day she isn't cold anymore when I am with her, but never really looks for me when we aren't. She even told me she LOVES me but still doesn't feel like getting in a relationship with me again.

So I am now stuck in this situation. A girl I'm not sure to love anymore since she amplified all the things I always hated about her when we were together, who dumped me and then regretted it, who says she still loves me but doesn't want to be my girlfriend. Also, she doesn't dislike my company at all even if she doesn't look for me, but everytime we meet she makes it end up into something sexual.

I felt like I was moving on and was so happy about it, but this situation is really keeping me stuck and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions to give me?
I feel like the most right thing to do here would be cutting every form of contact and get her out of my life forever, not only it seems like she doesn't want to come back with me, but I also think I don't love her anymore since she is the ugly version of the person I used to know. I'm not looking for occasional sex with her, and right now I am unable to move my life from this spot. I wait for some opinions. Thanks everybody for paying attention!
giola97 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th January 2019, 9:13 PM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 182
Things might have started going bad with her new prospects (or the guy she replaced you with and was cheating on you with) and she wanted the comfort. And she probably noticed or heard that you were now moving on and she got jealous and wanted the comfort/security that you are still there until she finds a guy to replace you with.

Don't talk to her anymore, whether phone, or face to face, she wants the comfort of replacing you will keeping you as a plan B. You better off getting a new gf than wasting time on your past.

Last edited by Moderator; 2nd February 2019 at 11:43 AM.. Reason: rude
Jamess1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th January 2019, 2:41 PM   #3
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Today she got angry because I didnt answer her, she thought I was with another girl, and blocked me on whatsapp telling me not to talk to her anymore. I know it's probably the best thing for me, it's still pretty bittersweet atm. I'm not sad, its a strange feeling to know I may not see her and talk to her anymore . I really think this will pass in some days
giola97 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th January 2019, 2:52 PM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 22
She most likely failed her monkey branching, she was just using you, till she finds a new branch to hop on. Pathethic.
MichaelD is offline   Reply With Quote


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