6lives Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Hey everyone, My ex gf of 2 years broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. I'm 24, she is 22. We were long distance for almost the entire relationship, save a few months at the beginning. In the last month we had been arguing more, but mostly about petty things nothing serious. However, one day when we were hanging out she was acting weird so I called her out on it and asked what was wrong. She began to breakdown and told me all the things that have been bothering her. "She doesn't feel like a priority", "I don't call her enough", "Want me to buy her nice things not because they're expensive but because it means a lot to her". She said a lot of other stuff like "I know if this wasn't long distance this would work", and "I don't know why this is all coming out now, and I'm not sure if this is the right decision". I sat with her for a few hours which was very emotional for her but I kept my composure and told her I love her and kissed her but if she feels a break is best then maybe that is what we do. I went to my car to leave and she came running out of the house saying "I don't want this to end, I love you and want to make this work", and I told her the same. That night at 11:30 she called and texted me the same thing, however, she woke me up from my sleep, I reassured her I would like to make this work, but that we need to sleep on it and talk tomorrow. The next day I go over to her house and it is more of the same, lots of back and forth about it, however she seemed a little more certain taking a break would be a good decision. I got a little emotional at this point but kept it together for the most part. This is where I fudged up for the first time. 3 days later I ask her to call me. She does and I tell her that I love her and am committed to us and I want to find a way to make this work if we can. She tells me she wants to break up and that it "feels right". At this point I'm pretty devastated but didn't beg, plead, or cry but it was obvious this isn't what I wanted and it hurt me. A week goes by and I'm about to head to vacation. I text her saying that I thing it's important for us to communicate and discuss things and ask her if she is willing to meet when I get back. She responds that she thinks talking is good idea, when we get back we'll figure something out and she hopes my trip is going well. When I return, I text her that I'm back in town and ask her if she is as well? (I live in our hometown where we grew up, she lives an hour and a half away where she goes to university). I get no response. 24 hours goes by so I call her. No response. I let 4 days go by and I sent her a message saying I'm not sure what is going on in her life, but this seems out of character, I didn't want to meet to beg and plead, I simply wanted to say sorry for what I have done wrong I understand how it hurt you and make you feel X,Y, and Z. I assured her that was not how I felt about her and if she has the time to respond I would appreciate it. If not I wish her all the best moving forward and I hope everything works out. She responds that evening saying that she really appreciates this message, and that she has done a lot of thinking and reflecting as well. She says she has been having a hard time formulating what she would like to say to me and that she would like to talk at some point but isn't quite ready, she hopes I'm doing well. I respond saying I understand, take your time. It has been almost a month since this last interaction, and I was wondering what you guys think of this whole situation and what might be going through her head, and what my best course of action should be? I was always there for her when she needed help, always responded to her, and never intentionally tried to hurt her. I definitely could have put more effort into the relationship and there were a couple times I could have chosen my words better. I'm having a hard time making heads or tails of this situation. Sorry if this ran a little long everyone. P.S. Her manager at work has expressed interest in her and told her he has feelings for her, I have no idea if he is in the picture or not. He's 10 years older than her and has a kid with his ex girlfriend. Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Fekenaws Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don't see anything in there that could indicate she wants to reconcile. Instead of focusing on her words, focus on her actions. It has been 30 or more days since you spoke. That means she has had over 700 hours to think about you and she STILL didn't reach out to you. She's moving on and probably has another guy on her radar. Continue with NC and start focusing on yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Author 6lives Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 That's what my gut tells me and I'm planning on keeping NC, even though its tough. It's her last semester of university and she was planning on moving back home. She was always the one chasing me, and I never was avoidant, I was just myself and I am confident in who I am and am secure. I do love this girl though and want to give myself the best chance to at least try to make this work. Feelings change and maybe she'll never come around but I don't want to live with the regret of not trying. Link to post Share on other sites
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