LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Exís new girl is 20 yrs younger. He said he will take me back if they break up


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree40Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 9th February 2019, 9:53 AM   #61
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 18,285
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostlove11 View Post
Exactly why is he telling me?
Probably to hurt me and make me jealous...and itís working because it does hurt me and now thatís all I can think of them doing.. and really it makes me feel ill.
Did he volunteer this information to you or did you ask him?
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2019, 10:12 AM   #62
Established Member
 
elaine567's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 18,852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostlove11 View Post
He said that when he saw me he thought I looked to young for him and now his gone for someone 11 years younger then me.
History repeating.
He has replaced you with someone in the age bracket he finds most attractive.
That is not the action of a man who is husband and father material.
Move quickly on, you have wasted enough time with this guy.
elaine567 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2019, 10:51 AM   #63
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 18,285
Quote:
Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
History repeating.
He has replaced you with someone in the age bracket he finds most attractive.
That is not the action of a man who is husband and father material.
Move quickly on, you have wasted enough time with this guy.
Yeah Elaine, he isn't much different than a lot of these guys that come to this forum who want 20 year olds they can't get.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2019, 10:56 AM   #64
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,033
There is something particularly disgusting when a 40yo man is dating a 20yo. I guess it's mostly the realization that he will happily be used by an annoying brat (sorry, but most of 20 year olds are that). The only attraction this girl is seeing in him is free rent.

Most of us would like to think that our ex partners are not completely shallow and superficial.
__________________
ďSaid the river: imagine everything you can imagine, then keep on going.Ē
Eternal Sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2019, 11:02 AM   #65
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 13,888
Quote:
Why would someone of that age move in with a much older older man after being together for around 3 weeks or less? Even older couples don’t really rush things. I understand about staying over but being so desperate to move in so quickly makes me doubt her motives.
By the same token, your ex must be pretty desperate too. Desperate enough to let a much-younger stranger move in with him.

Quote:
In my opinion a 20 year old is far too immature for a 40 yr old. Even at my age I wouldn’t even consider dating a 20 year old guy and I am younger then my ex. When I was 20 years old it didn’t even cross my mind to even think of finding someone double my age (a 40 year old man) someone who is old enough to be my father.
And what does all of this say about your ex? He's dating someone young enough to be his daughter. It's not as though he had no choice in the matter. Her motives, and his, are not your concern.

You spew a lot of vitriol about her, but you need to take a long, hard look at your ex here too. I get that you feel jealous and insecure because he's found himself a hot little number, but OP, your anger towards her is misguided.

It's time to stay far, far away from him. You shouldn't even know that he is having unprotected sex with her. Not only is it none of your business, but being privy to that information is your cue that you are too involved in his life and need to let go.
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2019, 1:05 AM   #66
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by stillafool View Post
Did he volunteer this information to you or did you ask him?
He told me himself.
Lostlove11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2019, 1:18 AM   #67
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExpatInItaly View Post
By the same token, your ex must be pretty desperate too. Desperate enough to let a much-younger stranger move in with him.

And what does all of this say about your ex? He's dating someone young enough to be his daughter. It's not as though he had no choice in the matter. Her motives, and his, are not your concern.

You spew a lot of vitriol about her, but you need to take a long, hard look at your ex here too. I get that you feel jealous and insecure because he's found himself a hot little number, but OP, your anger towards her is misguided.

It's time to stay far, far away from him. You shouldn't even know that he is having unprotected sex with her. Not only is it none of your business, but being privy to that information is your cue that you are too involved in his life and need to let go.
Just because she is 20 years old dosn’t mean she is a hot little number. She isn’t even “hot”.
No I shouldn’t know his sexual habits with her though he openly told me about them.
I’m disgusted because I feel like he is the complete opposite to the person I thought I knew. He was decent, well I thought he was, now he is some perverted 40 year old. It’s like he has been brainwashed.
Yes I do spew a lot of vitriol towards her, she is not just some random girl who he picked up, she caused trouble in his brothers marraige to the point where his wife kicked him out for a while.She had no respect for a married man and if all I know she probably even contributed to the demise in my relationship with my ex ( I don’t know what went on when he visited his mother) and she lived with her. He never took me to his mothers place when she was around. So she has moved on from one brother to another.
Lostlove11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2019, 1:31 AM   #68
Established Member
 
bathtub-row's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 5,008
Regardless of how screwed up this girl is, I would have a bigger issue with my ex inviting someone to live with him after knowing them for such a short time. Who in their right mind does that??

After enough time goes by, youíre going to lose respect for your ex because he has shown you a side to him that is in no way admirable. Personally, I wouldnít take him back if he begged me.
bathtub-row is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2019, 5:18 AM   #69
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 13,888
You're still completely missing the point, OP.

This girl, according to you, has plenty of issues. That might be absolutely true. Yet, your ex moved her in anyway. It sounds like she is not the only problem here, but you seem unwilling to admit that your ex is no prize either.

And she might not be hot, in your eyes, but evidently your ex has the hots for her. She wouldn't be in his house otherwise. Let's get real here. He thinks she's hot.

You need to let go. Obsessing over him, her and their relationship is getting you nowhere. It's time for you to move on.
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2019, 6:58 AM   #70
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExpatInItaly View Post
You're still completely missing the point, OP.

This girl, according to you, has plenty of issues. That might be absolutely true. Yet, your ex moved her in anyway. It sounds like she is not the only problem here, but you seem unwilling to admit that your ex is no prize either.

And she might not be hot, in your eyes, but evidently your ex has the hots for her. She wouldn't be in his house otherwise. Let's get real here. He thinks she's hot.

You need to let go. Obsessing over him, her and their relationship is getting you nowhere. It's time for you to move on.
Iíve let go, Iím over him and over her. Iím better off without him.I hope they both have a miserable life together. She is in his house because he is 40 and desperate to have kids. I hope he is infertile.Yes I am bitter especially after the way I was treated during my relationship and after but now Iím able to move forward and see that I deserve better. I was blinded before. Hopefylly he will learn the hard way because no one will ever be genuine or loyal like I was and no one will ever love him like I did! If he comes back, my answer now will be NO!
Lostlove11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2019, 7:01 AM   #71
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by bathtub-row View Post
Regardless of how screwed up this girl is, I would have a bigger issue with my ex inviting someone to live with him after knowing them for such a short time. Who in their right mind does that??

After enough time goes by, youíre going to lose respect for your ex because he has shown you a side to him that is in no way admirable. Personally, I wouldnít take him back if he begged me.
Yes I was disgusted in him and have zero respect for him.
He has shown his true colours and had me fooled by his fake personality. Iím glad I didnít get married to him. If he came back I would say No now.
Lostlove11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th March 2019, 4:33 PM   #72
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 269
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
There is something particularly disgusting when a 40yo man is dating a 20yo. I guess it's mostly the realization that he will happily be used by an annoying brat (sorry, but most of 20 year olds are that). The only attraction this girl is seeing in him is free rent.

Most of us would like to think that our ex partners are not completely shallow and superficial.
Uh, that's kind of ageist of you.

Yeah, I agree 20 yr olds are like unshapen clay, and I couldn't imagine why anyone would date a 20 yr old, but I don't like it when someone assumes younger guys I have dated, have "mommy issues." Stereotypes about age gap rel'ships are lame.

You don't know her motivation, either for why she's seeing him. Thinking she's a golddigger is a big sexist, don't you think?
sandrawg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th March 2019, 4:34 PM   #73
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 269
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostlove11 View Post
Yes I was disgusted in him and have zero respect for him.
He has shown his true colours and had me fooled by his fake personality. Iím glad I didnít get married to him. If he came back I would say No now.
For real, this girl is probably a rebound..you simply don't move in with someone after ONE MONTH. That is not a recipe for a long-lasting healthy rel'ship.

And then for him to basically want you as a back up..his judgment is awful.

I would definitely move on if I were you.
sandrawg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th March 2019, 4:35 PM   #74
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 269
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostlove11 View Post
Iíve let go, Iím over him and over her. Iím better off without him.I hope they both have a miserable life together. She is in his house because he is 40 and desperate to have kids. I hope he is infertile.Yes I am bitter especially after the way I was treated during my relationship and after but now Iím able to move forward and see that I deserve better. I was blinded before. Hopefylly he will learn the hard way because no one will ever be genuine or loyal like I was and no one will ever love him like I did! If he comes back, my answer now will be NO!
I would COUNT on him coming back.

Honey, I'm 51. If I've learned anything, it's that they always come back.

Just be strong and block him everywhere. No contact. For good.
sandrawg is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Married for 23 yrs but in an EA for 7 yrs crazy4taz The Other Man / Woman 30 9th July 2006 7:12 PM
I think they get younger and younger! JadeStar Physical Fitness, Health & Weight Management 7 3rd April 2006 10:45 AM
is 12 yrs of marriage worth a guy she hasent seen in 15 yrs? Danezilla Separation and Divorce 2 8th September 2004 10:50 PM
24 yrs old, been with girl (5+ yrs), have house+dog, now trouble PLEASE HELP! davej Second Chances 9 4th March 2004 8:18 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:31 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Contact Us - LoveShack.org - - Privacy Statement - Terms of Use - Top

Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.