letyourheartbreak Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 I recently went through a really bad heartbreak. In a nutshell she gave it time, but she couldn't find it in her to love me. You can't force love. She says she needs to love herself first before she can love anyone else. To be fair she's right, she does need to love herself. I love this girl, I am in love with her. Every part of me yearns to be coated in her tender love. What our love could've been is the type of love I dream of. She wants to be friends, she says she can't imagine her life without me in it. I explain, a honeybee doesn't dream to kiss the mouth of a flower and then settle for its leaves. We all fall in love differently. I come back to the same question. Will she ever find it in herself? Will she ever come home? I am stuck between waiting and starting a whole new chapter with someone new. Someday she will find somebody who can accomplish what I never could. Until that day I'll find happiness in her happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 It sounds like you know in your heart of hearts the truth, and that's the fact that there is no hope for a loving relationship with this one, as painful a realization as that is. She is letting you down easy, but the fact is she does not see a future with you as you had wanted with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author letyourheartbreak Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 It sounds like you know in your heart of hearts the truth, and that's the fact that there is no hope for a loving relationship with this one, as painful a realization as that is. She is letting you down easy, but the fact is she does not see a future with you as you had wanted with her. this hurts so bad, every night before I fall asleep I try so hard to imagine her next to me, to feel her warm presence Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 I'm so sorry. She probably won't ever come around. Or if she does, it will be with someone else later on down the road. Stick to your guns about not being friends. It will be too painful for you - and if she has more compassion than selfishess, she will understand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author letyourheartbreak Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 I'm so sorry. She probably won't ever come around. Or if she does, it will be with someone else later on down the road. Stick to your guns about not being friends. It will be too painful for you - and if she has more compassion than selfishess, she will understand. i want to stop feeling this. i dont want to close my eyes and fall asleep because everytime i do im only dreaming of her. i dont want to live my life half awake Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 I'm sure she does care about you and you may well continue to hear from her as she wants to know how you're doing, but she sounds resolute that she just isn't in love with you that way. I'm sorry. Unrequited love is heartbreaking. Link to post Share on other sites
traditional Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) Sorry I edit this, In my humble opinion, you focus too much on feelings and love. My brother love and those romantics and things are a woman's domain. The moment you focus and perpetuate those love and emotions and feelings, you basically chase a woman away. Although its human to feel love and want to enact those things, you must think like a man, your first purpose is to make love, to f...., that is what you are here for it is your mission. The rest of the cuddles, chocolates, foreplay, being immersed in her love and emotional things you do for her. If you really want to be emotional and lovey dovey, then do it in your free time when you are totally alone- light some candles over some romantic music, cuddle yourself, rub one off, shoot for glory while you do the victory scream in her honour and get over with it. A man is second to non, and if there is nobody around to love then start learning to love yourself quick. This is a good time to learn how to be a self sufficient man. Look at nature, be it lions, goats, cattle etc. You will find one male and several females always. The lion's main purpose is to fornicate and sleep, the females hunt and he eats first then females also raise the young. Same with bulls, what he does the whole day is smell them for heat do his duty and go sleep. There is just no time for you to revel in this mud for a lost cause. Get out and do your manly duties. If she is not willing to accept your sperm there are many that will. Sorry I try to put the worst case scenario hope it works on you. Be strong and keep well. Edited January 28, 2019 by traditional left out crucial information 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fekenaws Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Usually, when a girl breaks up because her feelings are gone, it's completely over. I feel for you, and you are 100% right that you should not be friends with an ex. Never help an ex through a breakup, it is essentially rewarding them for "bad behavior" and turning yourself into a doormat. It sucks to hear but this is the best advice you will get, go NC. Take all the gifts she gave you and put them in a box out of view. Block her on all social media (unless you have the strength to just ignore her) and start focusing on your own life. Take up a new hobby, hit the gym, start talking to different girls, etc. Might she come back? There is a very very slim chance that she will, but the chance is so slim you are better off assuming she is gone for good and moving on in the meantime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author letyourheartbreak Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 Her smile like art is hung and framed in the decorate hall of my mind. The shine of light flirting with the surface of the frame. But every time it comes with a sudden chill, it raises the goosebumps across my body. My hairs like hands reach out to her, yearning to coat my body in her tender love again. As much as I hate the world of pain I'm in, in someways I am grateful. Knowing the ocean of my heart run deeply. Link to post Share on other sites
Author letyourheartbreak Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 I said my final goodbyes. I said for now because I can't imagine my life without her in it. I gave us closure, distance makes the heart grow stronger so maybe she'll come back. But for now I am focusing on healing and becoming whole once more. I'm stuck between wanting to wait and see or just completely moving on with my life. It's just all so unclear to me. Link to post Share on other sites
january21 Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 I'm so sorry about your break up. I know exactly how you feel, I really do. I dont know how long you were with your gf but I was with my bf for over 7yrs, we're both in our 40's now and I thought we were going to grow old together. And then, without any indication things were not going well, he ended it. He was genuinely sad to break it off and almost a month later I am still wondering if there's still a chance for us. That wonder has been slowly diminishing but it's still there. I think it will always be there, that flicker of hope. i don't think there is anything wrong with keeping that little flicker alive but dont let it stop you from moving forward, if that makes any sense. Things will happen as they happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author letyourheartbreak Posted February 2, 2019 Author Share Posted February 2, 2019 I'm so sorry about your break up. I know exactly how you feel, I really do. I dont know how long you were with your gf but I was with my bf for over 7yrs, we're both in our 40's now and I thought we were going to grow old together. And then, without any indication things were not going well, he ended it. He was genuinely sad to break it off and almost a month later I am still wondering if there's still a chance for us. That wonder has been slowly diminishing but it's still there. I think it will always be there, that flicker of hope. i don't think there is anything wrong with keeping that little flicker alive but dont let it stop you from moving forward, if that makes any sense. Things will happen as they happen. I am only 18, I cannot even imagine the amount of pain you bare. 7 years is a large chunk of your life. Some may argue that may have felt like lifetimes. But yes, I will hold that flicker of hope always but not let it affect my future. Thank you for sharing. Link to post Share on other sites
january21 Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Reading you're only 18 a lot of people may say you're young and you'll find someone so get over it but I think a heart at any age will hurt just the same when it's broken. I'm not going to sugar coat anything it's been hard, I mean really hard. Talking about it helps a little, posting on this forum helps a little, watching tv distracts me a little, being at work fills up some time but all those other moments when I'm left with my own thoughts I am incredibly sad. I try not to think about why he ended it or if there was anything I could have done to prevent this....it happened and there's no going back in time to change anything. Instead I try and remember all the good times and though it makes me sad it also makes me smile. The hardest part isn't getting over him it's not being with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author letyourheartbreak Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 Reading you're only 18 a lot of people may say you're young and you'll find someone so get over it but I think a heart at any age will hurt just the same when it's broken. I'm not going to sugar coat anything it's been hard, I mean really hard. Talking about it helps a little, posting on this forum helps a little, watching tv distracts me a little, being at work fills up some time but all those other moments when I'm left with my own thoughts I am incredibly sad. I try not to think about why he ended it or if there was anything I could have done to prevent this....it happened and there's no going back in time to change anything. Instead I try and remember all the good times and though it makes me sad it also makes me smile. The hardest part isn't getting over him it's not being with him. are you in love with that person or are you in love with the memories. that's what im continuously battling. Link to post Share on other sites
january21 Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 are you in love with that person or are you in love with the memories. that's what im continuously battling. Of course I'm in love with him. I love every part of him, good and bad. It may sound odd but a perfect match probably would have driven me crazy but the right match is what seemed to be working for over 7 yrs. We've hung out a few times, we still communicate too and it's been ok. I'm still sad. The thing is he wasn't happy and I want him to be happy. So if not being with me in a relationship is what he needs then how can I deny him that? How can I try and 'force' him into staying? Something wasn't right and I can't blame him for not wanting to live a lie with me any longer. Yes, yes it hurts but I understand (now). So getting over him deciding to not be with me has been hard but I'm getting there. The hard part is realizing he's not the guy I'm going to grow old with. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I'm saying this with love: you are so young you don't realize how young you are. This horrible heartbreak will be the first of several, or at least a few. The raw emotions you're experiencing now are a fundamental part of being in love and being alive. While the lows are very, very low, you have just the faintest idea of how high the highs can be. Spend time with your friends and family. Be kind to yourself. Honor your emotions, but when things get very overwhelming remind yourself the worst of it will pass in a few minutes (the soul-deep depression may last a lot longer). Try to focus on eating healthy food and getting good sleep. Explore new poetry, literature, art, music, all kinds of creative endeavors from others about what it means to be human. "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." Link to post Share on other sites
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