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Going NC, but my ex stops at my house


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 26th November 2018, 5:39 PM   #31
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To be honest I donít know what I want. I want to move on and be over him. But a part of me wants him back. I am respecting his wishes so he can pursue this girl since that is what he says he wants to do.
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Old 26th November 2018, 5:44 PM   #32
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To be honest I donít know what I want. I want to move on and be over him. But a part of me wants him back. I am respecting his wishes so he can pursue this girl since that is what he says he wants to do.
Stop texting him.

In fact, delete his number.

And get a bit more respect for yourself... you don't go waiting around on some guy to see what HE wants to do or how it might/might not work out with some other woman. You need to have more confidence and respect in yourself than that.
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Old 26th November 2018, 5:48 PM   #33
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My ex and I broke up at the end of the summer. We cut off communication for a week or two. Then he texted me on and off for a couple of months. Now he is texting me everyday almost. Nothing about getting back together. He just wants to be friends, but some of his texts are flirty. Why is he doing this if he is dating someone? To keep me as a backup? To stroke his ego? To actually be friends? To hookup? Just wanted others thoughts.
Yes, to all of the bolded.

This was the same man that kept you in limbo while he tried to decide if he wanted to continue the relationship. Now, he's evidently weaseled his way back and knows you are still into him and it's convenient for him.

Don't keep doing this to yourself. Let him go. He isn't sniffing around for the right reasons.
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Old 26th November 2018, 5:52 PM   #34
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Who knows what he wants. What you do know that in all of his communication he is not asking you to be his gf which is what you want. You know that he is with another woman and hasn't left her. So for your own sake, block him and move on.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 10:50 AM   #35
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I need to move on but struggling

My ex and I broke up in the summer after 3 and a half years together. I believe we werenít connecting and I could feel him pulling away. We were very different from each other. He was very outgoing, and he would tell me I was very quiet. I donít know if that contributed to his unhappiness.

I did find out after we broke up that he met a girl at a bar while we were still dating. My ex is a big drinker. He would go to the bar 4-5 times a week. I always trusted him because he said going there to hang out with his buddies or just wanted to decompress from the day. He told me he met her the summer before we broke up, but nothing happened between them at that point.

This summer he was at the bar one night and he said I was smothering him. This came out of nowhere. He never mentioned that he was ever feeling that way before. That is when I began to feel him pulling away from me. We continued dating after that for about a month. Then I told him that we needed to talk. That is when he suggested the break.

I was so upset and sad for about a week, and then went on a vacation with my family which helped clear my mind. When I got back he still wasnít sure about us so I told him I needed to move on. At this point I didnít know about the girl.

I started dating someone for about 2 months but realized it was too soon and I wasnít over my ex. I still had feelings for him.

My ex and I didnít talk for about a month and then recently he started contacting me again. Unfortunately I was weak and slept with him. He has been calling and texting me for the past month almost everyday. During this time he told me about the girl he is dating, which is the same one that he started seeing after we broke up. He hasnít said he wants to get back together. I know he is still seeing her, but I got sucked back in again. I was hoping we were reconnecting. He kept saying ďyou never know maybe we will get back together in the futureĒ.

I am mad at myself for falling for him again. He obviously isnít going to stop seeing her. I thought I was getting to a place where I was getting better and moving forward. Now I feel like I am back to square one and I have to start all over again.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 11:00 AM   #36
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You desperately need to block this man, OP. You will never move on if you continue to entertain him like this.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 11:31 AM   #37
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Here is my last text to him.

I am going to speak my mind because I think it is important and I didnít do that enough in our relationship because I was afraid.

I know you are conflicted. I know you arenít sure of what you want for your future or who you want. And thatís ok for you. Itís not ok for me anymore. I deserve someone who knows they want me. I deserve someone who loves me for me. I deserve to be loved. I was always hoping it was you. You know where to find me if it is me.

Maybe it was a mistake to send it, but I need to move forward.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 2:38 PM   #38
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I don't disagree with sending a text to say you are going NC, but that last sentence is BS. You are basically saying "I'm sitting here waiting if you want to be with me". He doesn't deserve that validation.

I know how hard it is to cut someone off when you want them back. Be honest with yourself. Don't you think this message you are sending to him is a way to try to get him to say "Don't go! Let's back together!"? If you want to give him a warning, then say something like "The current situation between us isn't working for me. I need some space and would like to be no contact while I move on with my life".

The other option is to just go NC, full stop. Don't reply to his messages. You don't owe this guy an explanation. I can tell you 100% that as long as you keep the door open, he will be more than happy to keep walking through it and preventing you from healing and moving on.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 3:10 PM   #39
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I wasnít sure about the last line either. I thought it might give him too much power. Since I already sent it, itís too late. But my goal is no contact moving on. I hope I can stick to it. I may have to come on here a lot to get some support.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 3:17 PM   #40
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Seems like the only careless thing you did was sleep with a new guy without using protection. What STD are we talking about? It was even more careless to sleep with your ex knowing this!
Unless your ex comes back and specifically tells you that he dropped the other girl because he misses you and wants to come back to you, itís time to let him go. Go get tested and get that out of the way. Next time, use protection.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 3:33 PM   #41
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Seems like the only careless thing you did was sleep with a new guy without using protection. What STD are we talking about? It was even more careless to sleep with your ex knowing this!
Unless your ex comes back and specifically tells you that he dropped the other girl because he misses you and wants to come back to you, itís time to let him go. Go get tested and get that out of the way. Next time, use protection.
Let me clarify since they combined my thread. No I never slept with the guy with the STD. I still had feelings for my ex, and I didnít develop enough feelings to sleep with the other guy. Plus that made me too nervous. I broke up with that guy because I still wasnít over my ex. I did get tested even though I never slept with him and everything came back ok.

The only person I slept with was my ex.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 4:15 PM   #42
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I wasnít sure about the last line either. I thought it might give him too much power. Since I already sent it, itís too late. But my goal is no contact moving on. I hope I can stick to it. I may have to come on here a lot to get some support.
Ok, no biggie. I've said and done some really dumb things in the aftermath of breakups. The important thing is that you are trying to put your foot down for your well being. NC super sucks. But it is very worth it if you can stick to it. For me, it is helpful to remain silent and to let my ex wonder why he hasn't heard from me. Maybe he won't wonder, but thinking that helps me stay in that frame of mind. Whatever thoughts you need to turn to for strength, I think is fair. Come here and post. I'm on here almost every day lately and will always talk you out of communicating if you come here first.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 5:32 PM   #43
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I am trying to stay busy so I keep him off my mind. I have made plans with friends for the upcoming weekend. The holidays do make it hard. No one to buy presents for and no one to celebrate New Years with.

I keep thinking about what he might be doing, who is he celebrating with this year. How I wish it was with me, but I know that will never happen again. I am trying to hold back the tears and be strong. But how this hurts so much.
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Old 24th December 2018, 7:46 AM   #44
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You really need to stop talking to him. You were with him for 3 years, and he wouldn't move the relationship forward. From everything you described, it sounded stagnant and like he wasn't interested in a long term commitment. You stayed and accepted less. Now, you are accepting even less. You're basically his friends with benefits. He is keeping you around for sex plain and simple. There's no more to it than that. He does not want any type of committed relationship with you, and he never will.

He knows what he wants. Anyone who pulls the "I don't know," "maybe in the future," does not want to be with you. They're just saying what they need to keep you around for their benefit.
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Old 24th December 2018, 8:06 AM   #45
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It is an actual thing that some men will stick around exes and use them as FWBs. In fact access to potential sex is found to be the main reason men keep in contact with exes.

I guess this is what he did here. Your mind is all about getting back together and reconciliation and he fed into that by saying ďyou never know maybe we will get back together in the futureĒ over and over again and all he is really thinking is "Sex".


If he really wanted you back then he would have kicked his gf into touch.. but he hasn't and he is hitting you up now for easy sex...
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