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Going NC, but my ex stops at my house


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 14th November 2018, 11:47 AM   #16
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The day after he told me about the STD I called my doctor and got myself tested. I am clean.
How do you know you are still clean after you slept with your ex? Maybe your ex's new girl has an STD but didn't tell your ex.

I know this is common behavior : Maybe your ex's new girl got with him because her ex dumped her. But if her ex came around she may sleep with him at the same time she's sleeping with your ex. Meanwhile her ex may have slept with another girl. Any of them can have a STD.

Is this what happened: Your ex left you because he wanted to be with someone else. So you got with someone else because your ex left you. If that's what happened, you are not equal you will continue to suffer if you go back to him.
Take yourself out of this mess!

You should feel bad. Feeling bad about it means you're actually a good person. Making excuses is worse, don't you agree?
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Old 14th November 2018, 1:31 PM   #17
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How do you know you are still clean after you slept with your ex? Maybe your ex's new girl has an STD but didn't tell your ex.

I know this is common behavior : Maybe your ex's new girl got with him because her ex dumped her. But if her ex came around she may sleep with him at the same time she's sleeping with your ex. Meanwhile her ex may have slept with another girl. Any of them can have a STD.

Is this what happened: Your ex left you because he wanted to be with someone else. So you got with someone else because your ex left you. If that's what happened, you are not equal you will continue to suffer if you go back to him.
Take yourself out of this mess!

You should feel bad. Feeling bad about it means you're actually a good person. Making excuses is worse, don't you agree?
You have a point. I donít know if my exís new girl is clean.

My ex left me because he wasnít sure we were right for each other. He did tell me he was texting her while we were on the break. I am not sure when he starting sleeping with her.

I started dating to try to get over my ex. The new guy asked me out and I thought it would help me move on. I thought maybe I could get over him. But it has not worked. I still have feelings for my ex. I believe I moved too fast and just wasnít ready.

I think the right thing to do is break it off with the new guy and get over my ex. I am nervous about being alone but I suppose that is better than being in a relationship where I donít have the same feelings. Plus the STD thing is really difficult for me to get over. If I get tested again from my ex, and I am clean then I still have the possibility of getting it with this new guy. That is something I donít want to happen. I donít know if I am being selfish or a terrible person, but it is how I feel. I donít want to contract it, break up in the future, and then be the person who had to disclose that information. I am afraid I would be undateable then. I know that is awful to say, but it is what is going on in my mind.
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Old 15th November 2018, 1:56 AM   #18
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I think the right thing to do is break it off with the new guy and get over my ex.
That sounds like a good plan.

Think about this scenario: in a moment of weakness, you use the other guy to get over your ex, and in the process you contract a STD. So not worth it! And I am sure this has happened to people, because not everyone discloses their STD.

So much easier to just stay single. You will still get over your ex, without involving someone else's feelings and without getting the disease. You can do it.
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Old 15th November 2018, 3:05 PM   #19
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I am breaking up with the new guy tonight. I enjoy spending time with him. I keep thinking what if I am making a mistake? I am so conflicted with this guy and my ex. My head is spinning in so many different directions. Not sure what to do.

I slept with my ex on Sunday. He has called me Monday and Tuesday. Then he drove to my house last night. We made the same mistake again. I am not over him. He wants to move on with his GF. If that is true why is he the one reaching out to me by calling and coming over?

I know the right answers. Break up with the new guy because he deserves better. Get over my ex because he has moved on.

What are some great ways to move on? Struggling with that!
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Old 15th November 2018, 3:24 PM   #20
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What are some great ways to move on? Struggling with that!
Ummmm..... Stop sleeping with your ex for starters?
If you do really want to move on then go NC. Properly. Tell him you want no more contact at all. Delete or block from social media.

You need to give yourself the TIME to move on without him being in your life and thoughts and you are not giving yourself that due to being in contact with him and sleeping with him.

Think you probably know this though right?
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Old 15th November 2018, 4:55 PM   #21
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I know I need to stop sleeping with him, but I love him. I wish we could be together.
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Old 15th November 2018, 11:48 PM   #22
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I broke up with the other guy. It was so tough because he told me he loved me. I feel so terrible for hurting him, but in my heart I know this is the right thing.

Now I need to start doing what I should have done this summer...get over my ex.
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Old 17th November 2018, 8:34 AM   #23
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You've slept with your ex knowing that he's seeing someone new? I don't know, for me, that would make the "ick" factor way too high, let alone having respect for the other woman.

No-contact is definitely the way to go if you can't seem to control yourself around him.
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Old 17th November 2018, 10:39 AM   #24
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Yes I know I shouldnít have slept with my ex either time. It was wrong and I do feel guilty. The first time I was hurting and he was comforting me. I know that is no excuse. Then my feelings that werenít gone came flooding back. And we were talking for a couple of days and my hopes got up. Then it happened again and I foolishly thought maybe we could make this work.

I know in my head we shouldnít be together. My my feelings and my heart arenít there yet. So I decided to stop seeing the other guy to focus on letting my ex go.

I want to value myself and know how important I am. In a relationship I am
someone who always puts the other person first. No matter what. Despite my feelings, despite my needs. I think I get lost in the relationships I am in as an independent person because I worry too much about what my partner wants. Yes of course that is important too, but so am I. So I figure now is the best time to focus on what I want, build myself up, and then who knows what will come. But whatever it is i will be a stronger me.
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Old 26th November 2018, 4:32 PM   #25
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What are some reasons an ex keeps texting even if he is dating someone else

My ex and I broke up at the end of the summer. We cut off communication for a week or two. Then he texted me on and off for a couple of months. Now he is texting me everyday almost. Nothing about getting back together. He just wants to be friends, but some of his texts are flirty. Why is he doing this if he is dating someone? To keep me as a backup? To stroke his ego? To actually be friends? To hookup? Just wanted others thoughts.
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Old 26th November 2018, 4:45 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Hope4thefuture View Post
My ex and I broke up at the end of the summer. We cut off communication for a week or two. Then he texted me on and off for a couple of months. Now he is texting me everyday almost. Nothing about getting back together. He just wants to be friends, but some of his texts are flirty. Why is he doing this if he is dating someone? To keep me as a backup? To stroke his ego? To actually be friends? To hookup? Just wanted others thoughts.
Was he a Beta Male that had to have you make all the decisions,...or get your approval for all of his decisions? Beta Males are also manipulative. You don't really know what his dating situation is apart what whatever he tells you (which could be a lie).

There is no way we could know what his motivations are,...we should ask you,...you know him,...we don't. He could be trying to manipulate you into getting back together because he doesn't have the guts to try it directly,...but that is total blind speculation.
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Old 26th November 2018, 5:17 PM   #27
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He isnít a Beta Male. He would and did make many decisions. I am not sure what he wants. I really donít think it is me anymore. He texts me about future partners I could have. However he will flirt with me at times too. I do know that he has slept with the girl he is dating. So I do think he is interested in her and wants to continue dating her. I just donít understand why he keeps texting me if we broke up.
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Old 26th November 2018, 5:23 PM   #28
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You mentioned in a previous thread that you have slept with him twice recently. I imagine he wants to keep open the possibility of more sexual encounters with you.
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Old 26th November 2018, 5:28 PM   #29
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True we did. However we discussed it and said we wouldnít see each other anymore. We thought distancing ourselves was a good idea. Nothing has happened since then. I figured he wants to focus on the other girl he is dating. I am trying to respect that. So why isnít he?
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Old 26th November 2018, 5:30 PM   #30
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Look at his actions, not his words. Does he seem to be respecting and focusing on his new gf? More importantly, what do you want?
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