LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Going NC, but my ex stops at my house


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree51Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 4th April 2019, 3:57 PM   #166
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 17,970
You continue to avoid this question:

HAVE YOU BLOCKED HIM YET?????
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th April 2019, 2:17 PM   #167
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 253
Took a little break from LS. I wanted to clear my head. I am visiting friends in Florida. Getting some sun, finding some peace, and trying to get some joy back.

I know I will get some flack for this, but no to answer the above question I have not blocked him. I have continued NC and I am on 5 weeks today.

Some days are harder than others. Sometimes I want to reach out. I want to know how he is doing at times. But what good will that do for me? It wonít do me any good at all. I have had to talk myself out of texting him. I have to tell myself he doesnít want to be with me and I deserve someone who treats me like a priority. Someone who wants to be a part of my life.

I know if I keep focusing on myself, my boys, my friends...then the good thoughts will continue to come. That is what I really want. Good times, good thoughts, good things.
Hope4thefuture is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th April 2019, 7:07 AM   #168
Established Member
 
BC1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 8,100
Five weeks is great. You sound so much different than you did a few months ago. I can tell something has shifted in your thinking, and you have the resolve to leave him behind.
BC1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th April 2019, 12:29 PM   #169
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 589
I'm so glad to see your update! Healing is a long, long process. At least for me it has been, so don't be so hard on yourself. It's really funny, because now when I have a bad or down day, I feel terrible about it. But then I remember that these days are less common than they used to be. In the past, these days were almost every day. Now, I have them like once a week or every 10 days or so. And the days that I feel really good are several times a week. Sometimes the progress is much more subtle than we'd like it to be. I know we'd all like to wake up one day and feel so happy and never go back, but unfortunately it doesn't work like that.

Hang onto your progress. Don't worry about the blocking thing. That may come with more time. As they say in AA, "progress, not perfection".
nolanola is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th April 2019, 8:24 PM   #170
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 253
I saw my ex today. His daughter and my son go to the same school. Today was a school event so it was bound to happen. Iím not sure he saw me or not to be honest, but we walked right by each other. So I just assume he did. He completely ignored me. If that is true, Iím not sure how to feel about that. Relieved, angry, disappointed, glad...probably a mixture of all those feelings. I guess I can look at the bright side, which is I saw him and I didnít fall apart. It made me a little sad to know that this person who meant so much to me, who I loved, just walk right by me as if I meant absolutely nothing. Tonight was a hard night. I hope tomorrow will be better.
Hope4thefuture is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th April 2019, 8:52 PM   #171
Established Member
 
BC1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 8,100
It's hard to see an ex when feelings are still fresh. It's better that you didn't talk because it would have been awkward and probably made you feel worse. There's no way to avoid seeing him, so you just have to weather it the best you can until you become ambivalent.

I can empathize because I was in a situation where I would see my ex now and again. It was hard at first, but he eventually became irrelevant to me. It took awhile though. That guy did a number on me, which is why I've empathized so much with your story.
BC1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th April 2019, 9:27 PM   #172
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 589
Ugh. That is tough. I would try to avoid jumping to conclusions. You are assuming that he saw you and ignored you, but we don't know that for a fact. The only thing we know is that you saw him and that you guys didn't speak. If he is ignoring you, then that, to me, means that he is being petty about the breakup. Because when someone is totally over someone else, they can be easy breezy and interact with that person as if it means nothing. So if he is ignoring you, then he sucks and is probably trying to rub your nose in things.

I'm seeing my ex for the first time since he broke my heart almost 6 months ago, so I totally understand. I'm terrified it won't go well and I'll fall apart. I think we just have to remind ourselves that holding our heads high is the best revenge we can have. And having some backup when you go to these types of things (some friends that know that you need support) can be crucial. Or at least someone to talk to when you come home. Or you can always come on here and vent to us.
nolanola is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th April 2019, 10:44 PM   #173
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 253
You ever have one of those days when your brain focuses on what is missing from your life instead of all the good things you have. That was me today. Hoping tomorrow I find more positive.
Hope4thefuture is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th April 2019, 10:24 PM   #174
S2B
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 5,268
Write a gratitude list when itís a tough day.

Consider dating someone new... who treats you right!
S2B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st April 2019, 8:54 AM   #175
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 253
How do you know you are ready to date? I tried dating fairly quickly after my ex and I broke up. I ended up dating the new guy for 2 months. I thought I was getting over my ex. I seemed happy with the new guy I was dating. However I couldnít stop thinking about my ex. It wasnít fair to the new guy. I donít want to do that again to someone else.

So how do you know you are ready? I donít feel ready. I also know one day I am
going to have to be.
Hope4thefuture is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st April 2019, 11:24 AM   #176
Established Member
 
BC1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 8,100
After a 3 year relationship, I had no interest in dating for about 6 months. It's different for everyone, but you only know after you've tried. I think you have to test the waters at some point just so you know other guys are out there that you can be attracted to. If you have no interest right now, I'd just let it be. 3 years is a significant relationship. You can't just turn off feelings and process all that happened so quickly.

My advice is to reassess how you feel in 6 months. I think a year is probably the longest I'd wait. By that time, most people are genuinely ready to date again. I don't mean flings to pass the time but interest in developing an actual relationship with someone.
BC1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Girl always stops texting, but stays on calls with me? jackman0612 Dating 5 29th March 2015 8:39 AM
Bought a house together; split up; but wants to fix house up together? danm Breaks and Breaking Up 2 30th April 2012 9:16 AM
When a break-up didn't happen, but contact stops notmakingsense Coping 2 7th May 2005 11:35 PM
1 month things going great then stops calling BeachBumPrncss Dating 2 19th September 2003 8:51 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:15 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.