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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 10th March 2019, 12:10 AM   #31
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If his behaviour has continued, is there a reason why you havenít filed a police report? I would think that a conversation with a police officer respectfully suggesting that he drive down another street should be enough to cause him to change his daily routine...
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Old 10th March 2019, 1:22 PM   #32
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This IS stalking. I'd talk to the police, explain the situation and see what they recommend.
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Old 11th March 2019, 9:30 PM   #33
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This IS stalking. I'd talk to the police, explain the situation and see what they recommend.
Popular consensus is that I involve the police. But it's all about knowing when a situation is dangerous and when it isn't. It isn't.

If I reported him to the police I'd be the laughing stock of our little town. Everyone here knows him and likes him to boot. They'd all start looking down on me, too. I just came back here about six years ago whereas he's never left. He spent his whole life here. People would side with him, first.

I'm not in danger. I've known him since kindergarten. It's emotional distress, I suppose, it's not that I'm afraid. I just wish I knew of a less dramatic... and less public... way of handling this than involving the police.
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Old 11th March 2019, 9:49 PM   #34
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If you are not in danger then what is the issue here?
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Old 11th March 2019, 9:50 PM   #35
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I don't mean to insult anyone... but I get the impression people from big U.S cities see everything as an episode of C.S.I.

If anyone can come up with the next best suggestion other than calling the police I'd sincerely appreciate it.
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Old 11th March 2019, 9:52 PM   #36
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If you are not in danger then what is the issue here?
The issue is it's bothersome. I'm not in danger but he's spying on me, or so it seems. I don't like it. I want it to stop. It's been going on for way too long.
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Old 11th March 2019, 9:52 PM   #37
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Just disregard him
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Old 11th March 2019, 10:32 PM   #38
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You have three options fair -

1. Ignore him, and hope that it stops.
2. Communicate with him, ask him to stop and tell him that if he persists, you will call the police.
3. Call the police.

Calling the police for me isnít as much about a fear for personal safety - I will trust your judgment on that. I would call the police to send him a message that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. You have a third party communicate that message to him, and hope that he sees the error in his ways...
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Old 12th March 2019, 2:20 AM   #39
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If you don't want to call the police, you don't feel threatened, and you don't want to speak to him, then perhaps the only thing you can do is move somewhere elae? Or just put up with it and ignore him. Pretend you are some big shot hollywood star and treat him like he's some harmless annoying paparazzi.
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Old 12th March 2019, 2:26 AM   #40
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Pull the blinds closed
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Old 12th March 2019, 9:46 AM   #41
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Pull the blinds closed
Thatís what I thought
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Old 12th March 2019, 10:22 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by Fair View Post
I don't mean to insult anyone... but I get the impression people from big U.S cities see everything as an episode of C.S.I.

If anyone can come up with the next best suggestion other than calling the police I'd sincerely appreciate it.
Confront him yourself. Tell him that it's been four months and it's time for him to grow up and move on. You could do it via email if you don't want to speak to him in person. If he's well known in the community then the risk of being outed should mean something to him. You don't have to actually threaten to out him; it would be implied. Tell him not to respond (and block him).

I would've thought that he would've grown tired of it by now. He must be OCD.
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Old 12th March 2019, 12:56 PM   #43
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Confront him yourself. Tell him that it's been four months and it's time for him to grow up and move on. You could do it via email if you don't want to speak to him in person. If he's well known in the community then the risk of being outed should mean something to him. You don't have to actually threaten to out him; it would be implied. Tell him not to respond (and block him).

I would've thought that he would've grown tired of it by now. He must be OCD.
Agreed.

The first thing the police would ask is "have you told him to stop?". Since you have not, the police are not going to take it as you being "scared" of it. Annoyed, yes. Scared, no.

Just email him to knock it off.

If he does not, then proceed with the police.

Seriously, some of you folks need to chill about "stalker" behavior. As annoying as this guy is, he has not approached her front door, or followed her around town, or approached her in public, or made threats, etc. If he had, then that is a line that's crossed into stalker behavior.
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Old 12th March 2019, 1:23 PM   #44
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I don't watch CSI, but I have studied criminal behavior for decades. Stalkers are the most potentially dangerous group of criminals. Nearly every woman who has been murdered or raped has first been stalked. You are being naive and hoity with people giving you advice, so good luck. You being so quick to "feel sorry" for people is what drew him to you -- your weakness, you letting that type person in when others would have seen red flags right away and shooed them away. So just keep it up and he won't be the last problem stalker you have.

There is no guarantee the police will do anything, especially with your attitude about it, feeling sorry, thinking he's not dangerous, and guessing you haven't kept a log like I said you'd need to even get the ball rolling. Having no verbal threat from him, you need to show evidence of a pattern of stalking. You should file a restraining order with the court too.
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Old 12th March 2019, 4:29 PM   #45
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Write a message telling him to stop. Screenshot it and save it. Then block his number.

If you won't or don't feel comfortable, then I don't know what other option you realistically have short of getting some advice from law enforcement.

What do you want to do? You are more or less refuting everyone's suggestions so I am curious to hear what you feel is the best course of action.
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