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My ex girlfriend humiliated me through mutual freinds how should I feel about this?


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Old 8th December 2018, 3:56 PM   #1
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Should I get revenge on my ex girlfriend?

We were together for 3 years. I'm 26, she's 28, and has a 5 yr old that stays with her grandmother. We had a horrible violent break up. She lied, and went around and told everyone that I broke up with her, when she slowly let me down to where I was traumatized. Here's what happened: with me being so heartbroken and sad, I kept texting her and stuff trying to get her back. Out of no where her co-workers boyfriend calls me talking **** to not contact her anymore, to fight me if I did, and threatening me he was going to pull up at my house and stuff (i didnt take that too well, and wanted to beat his ass) and he also told me how his brother was gonna **** my ex.

All this happened at post break up. I felt enraged and even more heartbroken when this happened. So we agreed to fight, and I left out to meet up with this guy so we can fight. I showed up, and he didnt I waited and waited still no show. So I went back home. On my way back home he called me again and told me he was on his way to the spot so we can fight. I did a u-turn and went back to the spot to meet him again, I waited a while hour, and he still doesnt show up. So I threw in the towel, and headed home for good.

When I get home he texts me a specific address for a place for us to meet up and fight. My brother warned me and told me not to proceed as it sounds like a setup. And the next morning he threatens me again to come at my house to fight. He still doesnt show up. Its been 8 months and every now and then it gets me highly upset, and wanting to get revenge back on him and my ex. And it's possible I can run into these guys again in my area. What should I do?

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Old 8th December 2018, 4:02 PM   #2
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What should you do?

You should learn to thrive less on drama, and spend time reflecting so you can mature.

Making appointments to fight someone is what high school kids do. Not grown men. A lot of childish immaturity all around here. You're too old for this nonsense, OP.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:06 PM   #3
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What should you do?

You should learn to thrive less on drama, and spend time reflecting so you can mature.

Making appointments to fight someone is what high school kids do. Not grown men. A lot of childish immaturity all around here. You're too old for this nonsense, OP.

So true, but the pain of another guy saying he will **** my ex that just broke up with me was horrible. I couldn't handle it too well. I'm just glad I was able to walk away. Because I think most guy wouldn't have. I could be wrong, but from other friends, they told me they would have done something. It still bothers me though. And what exactly do you mean by "spending time to reflecting"?
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:08 PM   #4
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Grow up and move on. Women really aren’t worth all this stress.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:12 PM   #5
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Grow up and move on. Women really aren’t worth all this stress.
I did learned alot. As of now, I been in a relationship with another woman for almost 3 months now. We are doing great together, and have found a better paying job since then. Keep in mind this break up was like 8 months ago, and it was traumatic. It sometimes still strikes in the mind every now and then.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:17 PM   #6
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So true, but the pain of another guy saying he will **** my ex that just broke up with me was horrible. I couldn't handle it too well. I'm just glad I was able to walk away. Because I think most guy wouldn't have. I could be wrong, but from other friends, they told me they would have done something. It still bothers me though. And what exactly do you mean by "spending time to reflecting"?
I mean you need to take a step away from this drama and ask yourself why you choose to engage people like this. You are wrong that most guys would stoop to that level. If you are hearing from your friends that they wouldn't have walked away and would have "done something", then I hate to break it to you but you're running with an equally immature crowd.

Ask yourself if this is where you really want to be, as a 26-year-old man: going through violent breakups and driving around meeting for fights. Is this what manhood looks like to you?

Because I can tell you, as a woman, if I knew that the guy I was dating was doing crap like this, you'd immediately be crossed off my list. it's that much of a turn-off. When you participate in lowbrow behaviour, you're going to only be able to attract lowbrow women.

If you want to someday find a truly quality woman, you first need to learn to conduct yourself like a quality man.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:21 PM   #7
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I mean you need to take a step away from this drama and ask yourself why you choose to engage people like this. You are wrong that most guys would stoop to that level. If you are hearing from your friends that they wouldn't have walked away and would have "done something", then I hate to break it to you but you're running with an equally immature crowd.


Ask yourself if this is where you really want to be, as a 26-year-old man: going through violent breakups and driving around meeting for fights. Is this what manhood looks like to you?

Because I can tell you, as a woman, if I knew that the guy I was dating was doing crap like this, you'd immediately be crossed off my list. it's that much of a turn-off. When you participate in lowbrow behaviour, you're going to only be able to attract lowbrow women.

If you want to someday find a truly quality woman, you first need to learn to conduct yourself like a quality man.

I understand. The only reason it got to this level because he threatened to show up at my mother's house. I was enraged. When it comes to family that's crossing the line. But it's weird cuz we never ended up fighting, and he didnt even show up after multiple threats of showing up.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:29 PM   #8
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Manhood is not only defined by how well you can fight another man. There's places for that, but generally not in the world of dating. You are living the life of drama and TV shows. This is the woman equivalent of being addicted to Desperate Housewives and being shoulder deep in the catty arguments that women do with each other to fight over men. Rise up over this drama mate.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:31 PM   #9
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I understand. The only reason it got to this level because he threatened to show up at my mother's house. I was enraged. When it comes to family that's crossing the line. But it's weird cuz we never ended up fighting, and he didnt even show up after multiple threats of showing up.
Of course. Anyone would be enraged by that.

It's how you chose to respond that's immature. This is what the police are for, OP.

You are focusing on all the wrong things here. Whether or not the dude chickened out is irrelevant. What's important is that you focus on growing up so you don't get sucked into such stupidity in the future.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:32 PM   #10
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Manhood is not only defined by how well you can fight another man. There's places for that, but generally not in the world of dating. You are living the life of drama and TV shows. This is the woman equivalent of being addicted to Desperate Housewives and being shoulder deep in the catty arguments that women do with each other to fight over men. Rise up over this drama mate.
Bahahahahaha you are spot on with how you described her. She was a drama queen. Still hurts how she did me, but I'm moving on tho. It's just thoughts still play in my heard because that night was brutal for me.
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Old 8th December 2018, 4:34 PM   #11
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Agreed that it is emotionally brutal to experience female rejection in the beginning stages. But what doesn't kill you makes you a stronger bloke.
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Old 8th December 2018, 5:06 PM   #12
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You were the one crossing boundaries and continuing to contact her once you knew you weren't welcome to anymore, so I don't know why you want revenge on her. Depending how far you went, it could have scared her and made her feel you were stalking her, and that can be dangerous. So she's trying to get you to stop.


So you need to stop before they come arrest you for harassing her. When a woman tells you she's done -- leave. Sorry it makes you feel bad, but we've all felt bad and you need to move on.
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Old 8th December 2018, 6:37 PM   #13
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No, don't try to get revenge on your ex or her friend. (You will not ever be able to prove anything positive about yourself to idiots.)

When/if he contacts you again, simply tell him that you are no longer interested in meeting up with or fighting him.
How to turn it around and make him look and feel stupid and immature, is to say something like, "Yeah...no...I came to my senses. I realized that I was acting like a two-year-old,
and getting dragged into drama." (It doesn't have to be true, but now he knows how you view his behaviour -- he was the stupid and immature one, and if he keeps on contacting you, then he's still 'it'. .)
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Old 8th December 2018, 8:55 PM   #14
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Listen to Ronni_W, this is spot on advice. The best way to show someone that you're over it and REALLY get revenge? Indifference. Nothing they do, their friends or new boyfriend bothers you. If you really want to stick it to this woman (which is a marginal description based on how you've described her), move on, focus on your current relationship, and avoid these idiots. If she knows she can still push your buttons and get you wanting to fight someone, she has the upper hand here.
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Old 8th December 2018, 8:58 PM   #15
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