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so i went to my kids birthday at my exes..

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Old 8th December 2018, 4:41 PM   #1
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so i went to my kids birthday at my exes..

so i nearly had a mental break down and panic attack all morning, because forsome reason i keep getting super bad anxiety around her.

i decided to go to my kids party instead of having my own seperate party. she kept texting me constantly hot n cold if i was coming or wanting me to come.

i was the only one who showed up. everyone else backed down, but her mom n dad showed up late. i raced and bought the cake , bought my daughter a power wheels.. then bought some pizza. n then went to the house..

i got there, she of course tried to dress all hot, and was trying to break the awkward shell. for me it was awkward. but more less i just didnt feel comfortable being in my home, thats now not my home.

but i kept a smile on and paid attention mainly to my daughter. it was like my ex wanted to talk to me, but i didnt really know what to even said or how to hold a conversation with her , so i just followed my baby around the house.

im at the point where i dont think i could take her back. because of all the heart ache ive gone through. but at the same time i wish she would chase me n want a second chance just so i can tell her shes too late..

its wierd she still has all our family photos up.

and she was taking our daughter to some indoor kids place. and she asked if i wanted to come, but i said i wasnt feeling good. when her parents left, i decided to leave aswell, she had this look on her face like she wanted me to stay or something, but i just didnt want to be there, my heart was aching pretty bad and i couldnt keep on the fake smile much longer.

why do you think she still has our photos up
why did she want me to come to the party so bad
why is she acting all wierd

i still love her, but man the stuff she put me through emotionally hurts more than anything, stressing me the hell out.
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Old 9th December 2018, 7:42 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by nobody12 View Post
why do you think she still has our photos up
why did she want me to come to the party so bad
why is she acting all wierd
Probably because things aren't working out so well with her new boyfriend and she wants to make sure she has you on stand-by.

Why are you doing this to yourself? By your own account in this thread, your relationship fell apart a while ago and she found herself a replacement for you. She is messy and thinks of herself first. This is about her ego, not her love for you.

You can keep going back for more pain, or you can accept that this is over and work out a co-parenting plan with her, through your respective attorneys (and yes, you will need one)
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th December 2018, 4:00 PM   #3
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This is a very difficult situation.

May I ask, was the home you lost purely yours, did you co-own it or was it hers?
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Old 9th December 2018, 4:13 PM   #4
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You are better off without any unnecessary contact. Your daughter is young so next time do something separate. It doesn't have to be on the exact date.

If you want to stay out of this mess here's how.

Communicate by text or email child only. Keep it brief and on point. Never answer a phone call direct. Let it go to voicemail and respond only if it's kid related. Ignore everything else. Do not bite on breadcrumbs

Keep all holidays separate. She has her time and you have yours. Nothing in between.

Pick up and drop offs limit to a 3 minute exercise with no engagement.

If you don't you'll just keep yourself bound up in this. It'll normalize over time.

It mat seem awkward but how awkward is having to be around her?

I have three friends who use this method and they swear by it.
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