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I feel so rejected


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 16th October 2018, 10:14 AM   #16
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Healing takes time. You & he were together for a long time & you thought you were building a life together. You were engaged after all.

The opportunity you had with this job was a good one. It was right that you took it & your EX was equally right that moving wasn't for him & he couldn't let you throw away your future for him. Had he been more committed to you, the move would have been easier for him. He knew there were cracks but he wasn't telling you. Your move was the impetus he needed to come clean about what he wanted / needed. As much as breaking up sucks, better now then after you had been married for 1-2 years.

It's good that you disconnected from social media. You don't need his activities in your face.

Now you need to focus on building a life where you are. Throw yourself into work. Get to know your neighbors. Make some friends.

You will be OK. Hang in there.
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Old 19th October 2018, 10:25 PM   #17
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I joined weekly yoga and a monthly book club.
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Old 1st November 2018, 5:40 PM   #18
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Why does he do this to me? I've been doing better since I went no contact with him a few weeks ago. Now he texts me from some unknown number and asks me if I'm still mad at him because I've blocked him. My first thought is he broke up with his "new" girlfriend, so I have my friend who doesn't have him blocked check his Facebook and she says that they are still together, and asked if I wanted screenshots and I said no. I never responded, instead I blocked this new number. But I'm feeling so angry, sad all over again.
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Old 1st November 2018, 5:54 PM   #19
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Anger is a more productive emotion then sorrow. Use it to propel yourself forward.

He's trying to soothe his own conscience. he doesn't like knowing he's the source of your pain.
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Old 4th November 2018, 8:50 AM   #20
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A few hours later he did text again from his original number which I had thought he had blocked asking if I got his text from his other number and then sent a long text about how he wished things would have been different, that he missed me but were too different, and a bunch of other bull****. I gave him crickets and haven't heard from him since. I just sit here but processing my feeling and then moving on. I realize no contact is the easiest solution to moving on.

Last edited by rejected1; 4th November 2018 at 9:05 AM..
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Old 4th November 2018, 10:17 AM   #21
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Take his messages as a victory. You were right. He was wrong but now that you are apart, stay that way. He wasn't strong enough when it counted & LDRs are too hard.

Hang in there. Keep going to yoga. What book are you reading for bookclub?
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Old 4th November 2018, 6:10 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Take his messages as a victory. You were right. He was wrong but now that you are apart, stay that way. He wasn't strong enough when it counted & LDRs are too hard.

Hang in there. Keep going to yoga. What book are you reading for bookclub?
Thanks I do wish things could have been different and that he could have just been honest with me from the start. But I know I'll be all right. In the book club were reading "I Am Watching You" So far I'm enjoying it and it had been on my to-read list since it was released.
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Old 8th November 2018, 3:06 AM   #23
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Made my heart hurt to read this....
Honestly, I think it’s the best the you are moving on because when you look at this a marriage is a pretty long commitment you’re supposed to be making... can you imagine having a child, being married and then he follows his “second thoughts” or the “convenient option” or whatever it is that he did?
Even if it is the 7 year itch, I’m starting to think that if two people don’t have a commitment to the longevity of love... even if it’s not that burning desire feeling anymore... then how can they spend a life time together?
Eventually that burning love feeling does fade as you spend years with eachother and if you’re not prepared to push through how can you look at that person like a marriage will last with them....

Maybe I’m seeing it from my own perspective but how can you be with someone if they don’t communicate before they get to that point? How can you do anything about it.

I personally think over time he is going to have huge regrets over this but I honestly think you should find someone better that would never risk it... and that’s coming from someone who would’ve given her soul to have him back less than a month ago....

Always hear if you want a chat
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Old 23rd December 2018, 2:22 AM   #24
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Update

It's been two months since I last text him or had any contact. Everyday it is getting easier. I started hanging with this one guy from my book club. We are really close, and we are taking it slow and we both like each other. He is tagged in a few of my pictures. Anyway, my ex caught hold of this and in the last week, he has been texting me again from yet a different number. He asking who he is, and if I loved this new man, and on and on and on. Yet he's still with this girl and last I heard they are living together. I find it ironic he told me we couldn't talk anymore, yet he is the one who keeps texting me. I haven't responded. Tonight he finally texted me before I finally blocked him, that he loved me. Like what the **** is that. Did he forget what he did to me? How easily he replaced me? Anyway, I'm flying back home for Christmas, and I risk running into him because on the 26th and 27th I plan on visiting old friends. But I won't let him ruin my vacation.
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Old 23rd December 2018, 9:41 AM   #25
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I just finished reading your whole thread and I'm so happy for you that you've gotten to a better place about everything. I can totally relate to the feelings that you were sharing in your earlier messages about feeling rejected. Although I didn't spend as many years with my ex as you did, I've had so many of the same feelings. I've started NC almost 8 weeks ago and it has been pretty rough. I was able to ignore his lame text message about a month ago, but have been doubting myself a lot. Seeing your progress has inspired me again to keep going. I woke up this morning feeling sad and mopey, thinking about how it seems that he is moving on with his life and that I meant nothing to him. Just being able to read that you had so many of the same thoughts, fought through them, and came out happy. And the fact that he came back like they always do and you were able to ignore that baloney is awesome. I admire your strength and progress. I hope I'll get there someday soon.

Keep us updated on how things go when you're at home. I would not be surprised in the least if this guy shows up when you get home.
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Old 2nd January 2019, 12:10 AM   #26
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Book Club Guy and I are official. We were dating and spent a lot of time together, but last night he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. So there is that. I didn't expect to start a new relationship so quickly, but I guess things happen for a reason.
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Old 13th January 2019, 6:29 AM   #27
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A little update...

Things with book club guy are going great. We hang out three to four times a week. Next weekend I'll be spending the night at his place for the first time, as he spent Friday night at my place, this weekend. We text constantly. He's funny, charming, and we are both super nerds: reading, drawing and playing card games. We really share so much in common. He is not without his quirks, but nothing I can't accept. So everything so far is going well on that front.

But. There is always a but. My ex-fiance, dumped his girlfriend or she dumped him, I really don't know and it's irrelevant. He is jealous. And since I finally told him to stop harassing me or I'd get a restraining order. All this is "news" is coming from a mutual friend who really means well. He is saying he wants another chance with me. He misses me and regrets ever ending our engagement. I'm still not 100% over him, and I know time is the only thing to close that gaping wound, but I've been feeling angry. I didn't act on those feelings, but I realize that closing that chapter of my life is the healthiest thing I could have ever did.

To those who said that in time, I'd realize my relationship wasn't as strong as I thought. It's true. While we had great times, I realize over the past year before our break up we had been drifting apart. I realize we weren't as compatible as I believe, really didn't' spent a lot of time together, and while we didn't argue, we really didn't communicate. I'm going to put my effort into the book club guy. I took things slow for a few months, but I really like him, and now that my feelings for the ex are wavering, I feel like I can really give him the honest part of me.
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Old 31st January 2019, 7:06 PM   #28
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I'm really happy for you, to read your update. I can't help but be a bit jealous that you've found someone that sounds like a good guy. It feels so lonely to know that my ex is dating someone and sitting in the catbird seat while I'm hurting and feeling like I don't measure up. I have re-read your thread a bunch of times to try to get inspiration that I can get better and move on. Some days it feels really impossible.
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