SailorMoon Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 Hi guys, I'm new to this forum, but I really don't know what to do at this point so I wish someone can give me some suggestions my boyfriend I broke up around a month ago during the beginning of august after around three weeks of him acting really distant and cold towards me. at the day of our break up, I actually flew to his city to ask why he has been so cold to me, to which he replied that he just doesn't want to continue our relationship anymore because I was too negative. prior to our break up month, I ran into some problems with my business and was depressed. I constantly sought for validation from him (for example, will we really get married next year? do you really still have feelings for me?) etc, which was terrible. I still feel the shame and regret even today when I think about this. on the day of our break up I did beg and cry in front of him and asked him for a second chance, to which he rejected. I then left the city the next day after crying the whole night at the hotel and initiated no contact. the first few weeks were absolutely terrible. I couldn't eat or sleep and just thought about him all the time but I pulled through. Even though I still wanted to get back together with him I forced myself to respect his wishes and stopped contacting him. this was during august. I got a lot better after spending more time on myself and I thought I really moved on. so last week he actually texted me out of the blue asking about some business stuff, to which I replied that I'm not in that field so I may not be the best person to ask. he then called but I didn't pick up as I fell asleep that night. at that point I was surprised he'd contact me but I thought I was over him so I didn't really feel much of anything. yesterday, I had to ask him for a pair of boots that I bought before our break up that was mistakenly shipped to his place. so I made it really simple. Im not sure if it was because I ignored him last week, but he was really really distant. he relied with single words. I thought I was over him, but since last night I had been a wreck; I am again plagued with the idea that he is disgusted with me and can't wait to get rid of me. I thought I got over him, but now I'm getting the feeling of losing him again and I'm really upset. now I am just at a loss.. I don't know if I should contact him maybe a few days later to just chat or should I just go nc again until he wants to talk. I also cannot understand why I'm acting like this. I really wish he didn't have so much control over my emotions. thank you all for taking the time to read this, I'm just so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 NC really does help you feel better and have better control over your emotions. You are now feeling this way because NC was broken. Now you're wondering what if again and are right back in the hurt. I wouldn't recommend contacting him just to chat, or for any reason at all. If he's interested in reconciling he will tell you that and then you can make your decision, but unless and until that happens stay away from him in all ways. It takes time to get over someone. You have to reach acceptance that it's over and be ok with that. You are not there yet. It's normal, don't worry about that. But resume and maintain NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SailorMoon Posted September 23, 2018 Author Share Posted September 23, 2018 NC really does help you feel better and have better control over your emotions. You are now feeling this way because NC was broken. Now you're wondering what if again and are right back in the hurt. I wouldn't recommend contacting him just to chat, or for any reason at all. If he's interested in reconciling he will tell you that and then you can make your decision, but unless and until that happens stay away from him in all ways. It takes time to get over someone. You have to reach acceptance that it's over and be ok with that. You are not there yet. It's normal, don't worry about that. But resume and maintain NC. First of all thank you so much for your reply. Now I'm just plagued with the idea that maybe if I had replied him back then he wouldn't have been so distant and cold with his reply this time. when I asked for my stuff yesterday I didn't apologize for not replying and just straight up asked "are you free to send the stuff I have at your place". should I apologize for that? maybe he thinks that I'm rude which is why he is being so cold, because he really has no reason to.. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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