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Hey all

new guy here, just have to post this story to get some feed back because it's un-real to me .

Dating a woman for about 4 yrs now exclusively . she owns her own home , i do home repairs / handyman work .she wants to know how to do things herself to save money,so i took her on some jobs she learned somethings .a guy i worked for has some houses he needs a few things done to and like how me and my girl get things done .so he asked if we'd be willing to work,we said sure no problem .K i didn't know him and her exchanged phone numbers .theirs absolutely no interest on my girls part , his could be different .

 

one day working i needed to leave at 2 pm for a doctors appointment .my girl was working that day since her regular job she woks 4 days per week .i asked if she wanted to leave when i did , she said no she wanted hours .i said that's cool this other guy Dave was working with us .he's happily married not going to cheat on his wife ,so i had no problem .\

 

i called my girls phone about 7 pm see if we were still on for dinner ,no answer,by 8 no call back .the house were working on is close to where i live so i went to see if maybe they were still working .they were .the guy who hired us went for supplies.NOW the way this guy [ Scott ] is [ not paying on time ,not paying in full ,and expecting more work etc ] my girl isn't too fond of him as a person .so i told her it's after 8 lets just go for tonight .we ended up leaving a little after 9 .she was going to run home shower ,change and meet at my place after .11 pm comes i haven't heard anything i call no answer , no all back .12:45 i head to her house , have to pass the house were working on to get to her place.i notice her car out front with Scotts car .i pull over the 3 of them are hanging out in the yard chatting .

 

i ask my girl what's up ? she says oh nothing.i got a bit upset at that reply .asked her so what are we doing ? her reply well i'm just gonna go home .

i leave .we talk the next morning .i ask what was last night about ?i'm told oh nothing .i don't push it , just say o.k. see you tonight we'll grab dinner ,she says that fine .

 

i worked with Dave so i asked what happened last night at almost 1 am ? he said Scotts car died at another location and he called my girl to give his car a jump .k i was a bit mad worked and went home.tried calling my girl no answer .3 hours later figured i'd go to her place see what's up . again her car is at the house,Scotts car is their .i say to my girl it's late what about dinner ? she says' oh i'm not hungry . so you didn't call me to say even that , just blew me off ? she said i didn't blow you off .i went to Scott and said last night wasn't cool you calling my girl at 11:30 .i got told oh it wasn't a big deal .dude your a single guy ,you shouldn't be calling another mans girl at that hour .no reply .

 

I told my girl it's really not cool for a single guy to call you for favors , i'm not even comfortable with you guys exchanging numbers as you did without me even knowing . i got told it's no big deal .i left her place to return later to just hang out,talk etc .i go to her yard cause we usually sit on her deck at night and just hang out,her back door is open i hear her on the phone ,so i just sit and wait [ her sister is having issues so they talk at night ] i'm sitting their and hearing her talk about her family , and asking the person on the other end if their close with theirs .then i clearly hear her say Scott .

 

i take out my phone and call her , no answer YET i hear her say i am calling her .it's almost 11 pm .THEN the conversation turns to me .why did i seem bent out of shape because he called and asked her a favor the other night,why i told her i'm not comfortable with them exchanging numbers etc .so i left .

 

next day i spoke to my girl asked her what happened last night , she said oh i fell asleep. i didn't tell i heard some of her conversation .i called Scott later on i said hey i don't want my girl working anymore it's making me uncomfortable ,he says whatever .my girl comes to work i say listen i'm uncomfortable with this i think it be better if i just worked for Scott. i get told i'm not her boss ,i can't say who she can and can't work for ,she needs the extra money etc .Scott took her side, so i said Scott this is obviously going to cause an issue choose me or her to work .and i left .

 

next day i get a text '' dude the last few times at work you were disruptive ,i'd appreciate if you didn't come around '' i texted back '' lol o.k. just pay me hat you owe me '' my girl knows about the text yet continues to work for him [ just work nothing else ] . I feel out of respect Scott should not have asked my girl for her number and out of respect she should have told him she'd see if i'm cool with that .

NOW me and my girl are arguing over this guy ,and according to her i'm wrong ,normal people don't act like me ,she's gonna do whatever she wants when it comes to her working .

am i wrong ?doing what i did and saying how i felt ? it sure opened a can of worms

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Scott was not required to ask you for your GF's #. She was not required to ask you before she -- a grown woman -- gave her # to somebody. It was always her choice.

 

That is the exchange of telephone #s only. The personal chats, the after hours favors & her blowing you off to spend time with him is all indicative that she is choosing him over you.

 

Get your money from Scott. Stop doing work for him & let him have her. She has proven herself unworthy of your continued loyalty.

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i do not work for Scott anymore ,it's been a week now .

i know my girl is not attracted to him in any sexual way .

i just think the whole thing comes down to respect.

if i were single and Scott [ or any guy i know had a girl friend ] my number wouldn't be in their phones , nor their number in mine .

 

 

I believed IF i told my partner my feelings and concerns over something she would have my back as i would hers .

maybe i'm ''old school''

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From what you posted, I agree with d0nnivain.

 

I wouldn't like a BF telling me what to do either, and would call him on it, but honestly I wouldn't be giving him these reasons to feel like he needed to tell me what to do, especially having to do with some random guy.

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I mean, it's a lot of hanging out if she has no interest in him -- and I imagine he at least has interest in her. If she wants to hang out, why not invite you. I agree it all seems lying and fishy.

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i do not work for Scott anymore ,it's been a week now .

i know my girl is not attracted to him in any sexual way .

i just think the whole thing comes down to respect.

if i were single and Scott [ or any guy i know had a girl friend ] my number wouldn't be in their phones , nor their number in mine .

 

 

I believed IF i told my partner my feelings and concerns over something she would have my back as i would hers .

maybe i'm ''old school''

 

She blew off dinner with you for him. You should wake up now

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she totally '' blew off dinner with me '' without a call , or an answer to my calls . BUT it was never him and her alone together at any time ,the other worker Dave and me are friends outside of work . i asked Dave why Scott didn't call me ? he just shook his head . their wasn't even respect towards me from my girl , or Scott . he could have said i needed my car jumped i called your girl , OR she could have called me and said '' hey Scotts car died he's with Dave i'm gonna go give a jump ''

 

 

I never told her who she can interact with male or female i'm not insecure .

just have common courtesy towards your partner .IF i was told ,or asked about the exchanging number thing it wouldn't feel like it was done behind my back which made it seem sketchy . we all have hung out together a couple of times with no issues .

 

 

she wants to disregard my feelings and concerns that's her prerogative .i don't know any couple that would be o.k. with this situation the way it unfolded . and like i was told IF the shoe were on the other foot my girl would NEVER let me hear the end of it .

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Cordell

 

There is a disconnect here. You say you aren't telling her who she can & can't talk to. You are also saying that if you were single & you knew some woman wasn't single your phone # wouldn't be in her phone. Honey, I'm happily married but I probably have 3 dozen+ phone #s of single contractors in my phone, & the numbers of another 3 dozen married contractors, plus probably another 100 numbers for other men I know / work in the same industry with, not to mention my buddies. Hell, I have more guy friends then my husband does.

 

When there is some construction project that needs to be done at my home, I want the contractor's phone #. I don't give a flying fig whether he's married, single, looking, questioning, asexual, or transitioning. All I want to know is whether he's gonna fix my problem. If my husband objected to me having the phone # for other men in my phone, we'd be living in the dark, with a leaky roof, in a 1950s kitchen unable to flush the G**D**m toilet.

 

As for the other men, I either need them to do my job or they are my social friends, but by virtue of that they are friends of my marriage. If I am spending time with some guy my husband knows it & is invited to come alone. There is nothing unsavory about the interaction.

 

Your problem may have started with the exchange of phone #s because your GF & this guy were not planning home renovations. They were thinking about hanky panky & you know it. That is inappropriate.

 

If all this was above board, your GF would have said to you, "hey, let's hang with Scott tonight. Grab a pizza & a 6 pack & head over. We're gonna sit on his deck instead of mine tonight." That would be a legitimate friendship or him helping her learn more about home repair with your knowledge & participation. What she did was go behind your back & blow you off to meet him. That is absolutely out of bounds.

 

What I'm taking umbrage at is you painting with too broad of a brush. Do you understand the distinction I'm trying to draw?

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i know my girl is not attracted to him in any sexual way .

 

You're wrong about that.

 

She is clearly interested in him, and you need to wake up, man.

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You're wrong about that.

 

She is clearly interested in him, and you need to wake up, man.

 

THAT is a totally un-true statement ,tat i'm 100 confident about. him being attracted to her is another story . IF i got the common decency that i would have gave to someone with an exchange of a # their would be no issue .to me it was wrong on both parts .him knowing were dating ,her just using common sense [ a single guy is asking for my number i have a boyfriend would he be o.k. with me giving his friend /employer my number ]. A while back her own family member a cousin [ female ] saw me out and asked for my # [ her words were to pick my brain on some issues and maybe stop by and see what i think about repairs she was thinking of ] don't know if her cousin is / was single or married ,or dating .i said i'd be happy to help a family member BUT let me run it by her first if that's cool . and she said she understands and apologized [ which she didn't need to ] and i told my girl and she said she appreciated how i acted and called her cousin and my # was givin .

of course my girl has guys #'s in her phone and they have hers their friends we sometimes all get together ,sometimes i'm not involved .like a recent concert i'm not into the country music but she is a guy ended up with 2 tickets and came to my house and said hey i got an extra ticket think Amy would like to use it .i said probably so called her she ended up coming over and the 3 of us hung out and she accepted the ticket ,she did say this wont cause a problem for you [ to me ] i said nope gave her money to buy a concert t shirt.

theirs ways of doing things were if common sense / a courtesy is shown nothing needs to be an issue . The way things were done pertaining to Scott was not cool with me .a love interest between them NOPE you'd need to know Amy to know Scott has zero chance even getting a kiss .

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You're wrong about that.

 

She is clearly interested in him, and you need to wake up, man.

 

THAT is a totally un-true statement ,tat i'm 100 confident about. him being attracted to her is another story . IF i got the common decency that i would have gave to someone with an exchange of a # their would be no issue .to me it was wrong on both parts .him knowing were dating ,her just using common sense [ a single guy is asking for my number i have a boyfriend would he be o.k. with me giving his friend /employer my number ]. A while back her own family member a cousin [ female ] saw me out and asked for my # [ her words were to pick my brain on some issues and maybe stop by and see what i think about repairs she was thinking of ] don't know if her cousin is / was single or married ,or dating .i said i'd be happy to help a family member BUT let me run it by her first if that's cool . and she said she understands and apologized [ which she didn't need to ] and i told my girl and she said she appreciated how i acted and called her cousin and my # was givin .

of course my girl has guys #'s in her phone and they have hers their friends we sometimes all get together ,sometimes i'm not involved .like a recent concert i'm not into the country music but she is a guy ended up with 2 tickets and came to my house and said hey i got an extra ticket think Amy would like to use it .i said probably so called her she ended up coming over and the 3 of us hung out and she accepted the ticket ,she did say this wont cause a problem for you [ to me ] i said nope gave her money to buy a concert t shirt.

theirs ways of doing things were if common sense / a courtesy is shown nothing needs to be an issue . The way things were done pertaining to Scott was not cool with me .a love interest between them NOPE you'd need to know Amy to know Scott has zero chance even getting a kiss .

 

 

I agree with you Cordell, about there being ways of doing things that just shows a common courtesy and respect to a person that is supposed to put you above all others, when there is a relationship between the two.

 

Especially when you are adults. The point that she's an adult and doesn't have to is not the point. The point is , she's in a committed relationship and should want to nuture that by showing consideration to your feelings.

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that was all i was looking for just taking our relationship and my feelings into consideration .the whole situation would not be this on going argument / disagreement if things were handled differently. i'd still be working for the guy as would she .[ she is still putting a couple of hours here and their in which is fine ] i don't care about the money for myself ,i put her and us above a few bucks .i know i am mentioned quite a bit in conversations [ Dave tells me ] things like how petty i am with the situation etc .which is cool with me. i just say and Dave agrees let Scott get a girl-friend have a single guy ask for her # and have her do a favor at 11:30 pm for the guy -then he'd understand and get it .

 

NOW to me she's saying to me [ via phone ] i acted '' foolish '' .we haven't sat down and talked yet [ she has some family issues going on ] and i respect that her head is't totally clear [ she says she can't talk if she doesn't have an open mind enough to listen without judgement it's not fair to me ] .I even just gave the offer [ she said i'm talking in circles to me and she's not getting it ] so i said when you're in a better space maybe we go talk it out in front of a professional .if theirs a communication issue i'm willing to fix it . she actually agreed to talk with me with someone .told her cool male or female doesn't matter whichever she feels comfortable with .

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i do not work for Scott anymore ,it's been a week now .

i know my girl is not attracted to him in any sexual way .

i just think the whole thing comes down to respect.

if i were single and Scott [ or any guy i know had a girl friend ] my number wouldn't be in their phones , nor their number in mine .

 

 

I believed IF i told my partner my feelings and concerns over something she would have my back as i would hers .

maybe i'm ''old school''

 

Duuuuude...

 

You might want to take a little time and read these boards. Do you know how many women or men have cheated with someone they "don't find attractive"?

 

You need to wake up...

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She's clearly into Scott. Arguing with her over her inappropriate behavior isn't going to necessarily change it because she clearly doesn't care.

 

The one thing you can do is stop [] saying things like "I know she isn't attracted to him" whereas by the information you have provided, it's clear she enjoys spending time with him more than you.

 

You'd be surprised at what some women might find attractive. Even ugly fat guys get hot chicks. It's more of a confidence, personality thing, and money doesn't hurt either.

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The one thing you can do is stop [] saying things like "I know she isn't attracted to him" whereas by the information you have provided, it's clear she enjoys spending time with him more than you.

 

 

She was NEVER at any point and time alone with Scott ever that's a fact

 

she has ZERO interest in anything but working and getting extra cash .fact

 

 

i know people cover things up with others saying '' their not my type'' or '' hell no'' etc. so not a worry with me about that .

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She was NEVER at any point and time alone with Scott ever that's a fact

 

she has ZERO interest in anything but working and getting extra cash .fact.

 

Yeah, um no. If you aren't with her 24/7 you don't know where she is, who she's with and what she's doing with that person.

 

You don't know what's going on inside her mind because she's a completely independent person from you, with her own thoughts, feelings, ideas, motivations and interests. You make the mistake of projecting yourself onto her, as if she's some sort of a dog with no ability to reason for herself.

 

That in itself is going to cause you more problems than anything else you've mentioned in your posts on this thread.

 

[]

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Hello cordell,

 

A lot of posters (myself included at times) tend to project their experiences when giving advise. You have given us a very small time frame of what your relationship is like. You are describing a problem that took place in a window of what seems to be a week, and seeking opinions on a 4 year relationship based on those events.

 

Without providing further background of your relationship, it's impossible to have an idea of the situation and give you accurate advise.

 

Based on what you shared with us, I can only make the following observations:

 

i do home repairs / handyman work .she wants to know how to do things herself to save money,so i took her on some jobs she learned somethings

It's great that you and your GF share that passion about the work you do. Aside from being her BF you are also her teacher on the workplace from what it seems.

 

a guy i worked for has some houses he needs a few things done to and like how me and my girl get things done .so he asked if we'd be willing to work,we said sure no problem .K i didn't know him and her exchanged phone numbers .theirs absolutely no interest on my girls part , his could be different .

This is the part you might be overlooking. You are her BF and "Mentor" of sorts because she doesn't want to call you Boss. However Scott is her Client/Boss because he's the one paying up. You must know that she might feel a different sort of adulation/flattery when she gets congratulated on a job well done by the end user. Your approval of her skills could mean less because she could feel you are biased because of your relationship. But maybe Scott makes her feel like she could make it on her own. Independent. And that is a very powerful feeling, and not one that she might give up lightly.

 

i said that's cool this other guy Dave was working with us .he's happily married not going to cheat on his wife ,so i had no problem .\

You clearly trust Dave. And you so far you have trusted your Wife. But don't get too complacent about these things. Every now and then it's important to show partners that you care. That the relationship and their loyalty is not taken for granted. Just don't get too careless I guess would be my advise.

 

12:45 i head to her house , have to pass the house were working on to get to her place.i notice her car out front with Scotts car .i pull over the 3 of them are hanging out in the yard chatting .

 

i ask my girl what's up ? she says oh nothing.i got a bit upset at that reply .asked her so what are we doing ? her reply well i'm just gonna go home .

i leave .we talk the next morning .i ask what was last night about ?i'm told oh nothing .i don't push it , just say o.k. see you tonight we'll grab dinner ,she says that fine .

This is a problem. This isn't a normal response. I'm not saying she's cheating on you, but this is clearly a "I don't give a damn about what you think this looks like" type of response. There's a bigger issue going on here you are not addressing if she's not home past midnight and all she has to say for it is "oh nothing". And you are making things worse by not sitting down and pushing the issue until you both clear up what the hell is really going on.

 

i'm sitting their and hearing her talk about her family , and asking the person on the other end if their close with theirs .then i clearly hear her say Scott .

 

i take out my phone and call her , no answer YET i hear her say i am calling her .it's almost 11 pm .THEN the conversation turns to me .why did i seem bent out of shape because he called and asked her a favor the other night,why i told her i'm not comfortable with them exchanging numbers etc .so i left .

Honestly, if you weren't trying to spy on her and happened to stumble upon that conversation, you should've approached her right there. Why are you tip-toeing around an issue that clearly needs to be addressed? What are you waiting for? Approach her with the info you already know.

 

i say listen i'm uncomfortable with this i think it be better if i just worked for Scott. i get told i'm not her boss ,i can't say who she can and can't work for ,she needs the extra money etc .Scott took her side, so i said Scott this is obviously going to cause an issue choose me or her to work .and i left .

 

next day i get a text '' dude the last few times at work you were disruptive ,i'd appreciate if you didn't come around '' i texted back '' lol o.k. just pay me hat you owe me '' my girl knows about the text yet continues to work for him [ just work nothing else ] . I feel out of respect Scott should not have asked my girl for her number and out of respect she should have told him she'd see if i'm cool with that .

1. You can't tell your partner where she can or can't work. You have no right to manipulate her choices.

2. You have every right to tell Scott to respect you and your relationship. He can't contact your GF at 11pm. He can't ask her for late night favors to fix his car. And if he doesn't agree with your requests then he's going to have to deal with serious consequences.

3. You have no right to demand that your GF not contact Scott , or any other man for that matter. She is free to contact whomever she pleases. But she has to deal with consequences of her actions because:

4. You have every right to walk out of the relationship if you start feeling disrespected.

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Ralph79

your right i just posted this 1 issue because it's probably the biggest for me in 4 yrs .and i know if you get disrespected once then it will happen again ,i want to squash this issue now before it gets to be a bigger issue .But Amy is dealing with an elderly sick mother at this time i know she isn't going to be able to have a probably long and heartfelt discussion openly .so i opt to wait until she's in a better state of mind .right now the slightest incidents cause her to come to tears because her mom is the world to her and when a slight thing negative happens she feels her world is crumbling ,so i'm giving her space with anything i have to say .

Scott isn't the end all final approval on jobs he's just a partner of a company

who is managing the projects,getting supplies,passes out the pay . he has an office job and just pops by the jobs maybe twice a week to see the progress and one of those times is to pass out pay.

i want Amy to be independent and we talked about her working more jobs with me AND doing final cleaning on houses .

Our relationship is good / normal we've gotten mad at each other over simple things cell phone texting , home later than said etc. but always explained ourselves ,while i was texting in the past it took time away from what we were doing and she asked what's so important i just showed her the text [ i didn't need to ] and said it's just so and so .

when she gives me the one word responses like '' nothing '' etc . it's just her thinking oh i can't do this when i don't feel i'm doing anything wrong or whatever [ her way of saying i'll tell you at my time not yours ] it happens on both our parts .

 

not knowing what she's doing or going 24/7 she has the same thing with me ,i'm all over the place with this job .but i usually say tomorrow i'll be at whatever location you feel like meeting for lunch let me know , or wanna stop by after work i'll show you what i'm doing .she works in an office.Scott doesn't work or live anywhere near us ,Dave and his wife do and we all get along fine [ except me n Scott now which doesn't bother me it is what it is ]

i don't ever want to be that guy who questions his girls every move ,But when something like what happened to me i'm going to confront it right away .IF she were to leave me tomorrow for some new guy from her office or wherever i'd say good luck shake her hand delete her number and info and not be depressed over it cause she has free will .no leashes here .we'll talk about that convo i heard IF she were to deny it after i tell i was sitting 2 feet from the door i'd tell her o.k. you just lied to me ,i wont trust you anymore so it wont be worth it to either of us to continue dating .I wont date a lier or someone i can't trust , Amy wouldn't either we've both had relationships in the past we talked and know what we want and don't want

 

all i can do is sit with her talk about this current issue ,listen to her and take it from their .maybe she'll apologies , maybe she thinks i did something creepy by listening who knows it was planned for me to go over the house that night i didn't knock ,ring the bell out of respect for her conversation it could have been with her sister about her mom .i left when i knew it wasn't

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when she gives me the one word responses like '' nothing '' etc . it's just her thinking oh i can't do this when i don't feel i'm doing anything wrong or whatever [ her way of saying i'll tell you at my time not yours ]

 

This is rather troubling. You continue to state your interpretations of her actions as if they're facts. They're not. That's you being opinionated and controlling. See my earlier post about her being a completely independent and separate person from you and you cannot know what she's thinking at all times and what her motivations may be.

 

not knowing what she's doing or going 24/7 she has the same thing with me ,i'm all over the place with this job .but i usually say tomorrow i'll be at whatever location you feel like meeting for lunch let me know

 

Right. Like I said, you aren't together 24/7, you don't know where she is, what she's doing or who she's doing it with when she's not with you.

 

Scott doesn't work or live anywhere near us

 

You might be surprised at how far a guy will drive to get some pu$$Y.

 

i don't ever want to be that guy who questions his girls every move

 

You wont be. You've already decided what her every move is, why she makes it and who she makes it with.

 

I wont date a lier or someone i can't trust , Amy wouldn't either

 

Oh, "Amy won't do that either." There's a pattern here. Do you see it?

 

maybe she thinks i did something creepy by listening who knows

 

At least you aren't telling us what Amy's thinking this time, as if you know for sure. That's a refreshing change.

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NOPE will never know what she's thinking ,only if and what she'll tell me but that's normal .i know guys will take long trips to be with a female they think they have a shot with ,IF i were single i would . I never decided what her every move will be or should be ,she's got some side things she's doing with other people male/female married /in relationships/single ,even has a girls night once in a while and goes to a bar or a dance club or whatever they do .i just say cool go hag out have fun ,un wind,catch up no issues .

Guess the main thing that bugged me is i know Scott he knows me . he knows me and Amy are in a relationship just show some common decency .like i said when / if he is in a serious relationship IF this situation happened to him he wouldn't be happy the way the events happened.no one would . IF it were some random single guy .and this happened and i found out i'd just tell him were in a relationship maybe you didn't know that wasn't cool ,and IF i didn't find out then i wouldn't know .Hopefully she'd tell me But never know .

In her past relationships she was lied to ,cheated on , and was smothered [ as she says ] i've been lied to .so we talked at the beginning all couples do and talked about deal breakers etc .this situation isn't a deal breaker .IF when i mention the call i get anything but yea we talked ,or he's called me [ something to that effect ] then it becomes a deal breaker .IF it does . and she wants to sit down and talk about it , explain it then i'd move past it long as she's honest .

it's life were gonna mess up , make mistakes,do something someone wont be happy about But if it's something like a phone call or blowing me off a time or two that can be worked out .she hasn't blown me off in 4 yrs .showed up late or called and cancelled something But always gave a valid reason and had no reason to doubt her .after a while together you kind of know when you're being lied to something you can pick up on .sure some people can hide telling a lie pretty good so guess you just hope that's not the case until proven for a fact theirs no issue .

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Not that another person saying essentially the same thing is going to cause you to open your eyes, but....

 

This woman is seriously disrespecting you by not taking/returning your calls, not meeting when you agreed, and telling you to phukk off when you tried to address it. If this were happening in a newish relationship it would be a deal breaker, and if the shoe were on the other foot you know damn well she'd have an issue with it. Anyone would. I can't tell if this has been an ongoing theme or it it's all brand new. Apparently it's new to your consciousness.

 

Now, the other part is that it always involves this Scott guy, who you're sure stands zero chance of making any headway with your girlfriend... but you've caught them together at 11:30 - 12am when she was supposed to be meeting you, and again blowing you off in favor of attention from Scott. You are dismissing these as being unrelated despite it having happened multiple times, and have decided that Scott poses no threat whatsoever because you don't believe he's her type or isn't attractive enough for her to be interested.

 

The fact that Scott owns multiple properties, and the source of a new stream of cash flow is not inconsequential. You overheard her talking to him about personal stuff... then called her phone and were ignored.

 

Your response to all of this is to act jealous and clingy, and her response is to tell you to bug off, that she'll do whatever she damn well pleases. She holds all the power and is exercising it in a most distasteful, disrespectful way. You are posting on LS that it doesn't feel right, yet in denial that it's a serious relationship problem because you assume that she is as committed to you as you are to her.

 

My thinking is that you need to grow a pair and shake things up. What do you know to be a fact here... that behaving in a respectful, relationship-minded way and prioritizing your feelings is not among her concerns. That is a problem regardless of whether Scott make her wet or not. I think it's time for you to do the 180 and let the chips fall where they may.

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I think it's one of 2 things here and both are not good...

 

She has either self created this drama knowing it would cause a wedge in the relationship and she is looking for a reason to breakup.

If she really is hanging out as friends then my guess would be she is looking to breakup and just can't do it.

 

or..

Scott is laying pipe or she wants him to and you are just being blown off because they are into one another.

 

There can be no other possibilities for the disrespect going on, if she was into you and not him she would have never taken the number or hanging out with him while blowing you off.

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This woman is seriously disrespecting you by not taking/returning your calls, not meeting when you agreed, and telling you to phukk off when you tried to address it. If this were happening in a newish relationship it would be a deal breaker, and if the shoe were on the other foot you know damn well she'd have an issue with it. Anyone would. I can't tell if this has been an ongoing theme or it it's all brand new. Apparently it's new to your consciousness.

 

 

It's all NEW happened over the last week and a couple of days ,Her not meeting me or returning the calls only happened less than a hand full of times .I know for sure if i acted towards her like she acted towards me theird be a issue

 

 

Now, the other part is that it always involves this Scott guy, who you're sure stands zero chance of making any headway with your girlfriend... but you've caught them together at 11:30 - 12am when she was supposed to be meeting you, and again blowing you off in favor of attention from Scott. You are dismissing these as being unrelated despite it having happened multiple times, and have decided that Scott poses no threat whatsoever because you don't believe he's her type or isn't attractive enough for her to be interested.

 

 

Her and Scott were NEVER alone not even for 5 min at anytime ,Scott on pay days takes workers out for dinner of corse she was invited BUT declined .

 

 

Amy stopped by my place on her own last night ,nothing was planned .she was upset about a call from her sister about her moms health .we talked a bit .her mom lives 4 hours away .i told her why not just go spend the weekend with mom ,have your sister meet you their.IF your in a sad state and don't feel like driving that long i'd drive you spend the weekend at a motel .she thanked me for the offer .asked what the issue i was having involving her with work,Scott etc .I just briefly explained to her about how i thought it was shady how it happened and how i felt disrespected , and blown off .She said she knew if she got back to me by phone i would have turned into an argument ,or if she stopped by we would have got into this long drawn out discussion and she already had too much on her mind .

apologized for how i felt from her actions ,said she'd see if her sister would be able to go to her moms and she would go THEN return Sun night /Monday and we'd deal with the working issues .EVEN told me IF i felt the need i can call her moms phone anytime and she'd be their .so i'll give her the weekend with her family which is important to her, and then deal with whatever when she returns .she hears what i'm saying about the disrespect and acknowledges it

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