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Ex pregnant g.f left me


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Ex pregnant g.f left me.

 

I dont know where to start.....here goes.

We have been together for 10 years....lived together for most of that time and broke up more times then i can remember.

Shes 33 and im 35, we have a 3 year son that we both adore he is our world. She is 7months pregnant and hasnt been nice to me around the house for months.

She left me 4 weeks ago and moved to her parents house, we had a silly argument over what was for tea.....i know, so petty.

I got back from work and realised she had taken all her stuff and most of my sons clothing.

It was over a week that we had a disagreement on when i could see my son, she cut me off and didnt respond to any texts or phonecalls, i decided to go round and ask for my house keys back at 11 at night, not the best time but i was very upset, i banged on the door and they called the police, the office said that i could have my keys back and i could see my son tomorrow the next day.

That morning i called her but she kept putting the phone down i was going crazy not being able to see my son.

She finally answers her work phone and said hes round her sisters.....i then went round her sisters and they handed him over.....he missed me so much and we spent the whole day together, unfortunately he had accident in the park so i had to drive him 30 miles back home to get changed.

My ex wanted him back and i kept telling her that he wants to stay with me.....hes starting nursery so i explained that its best he lives here and he settled.....she agreed and said aslong as i drop him off the next day he can go to the nursery near me.

Dropped him off next morning and i messaged and called and she replies that i will not be seeing him untill mediation starts she then gets me done for harrasment and i am unable to see him ir contact her.

I then got csa ringing me and a court order about custody that said she left because she felt abused etc. No violence just shouting.....but it was not that bad in my opinion

She said i never listened to her and that i never truly loved her.

Went to court tuesday and she agreed i could see my son and ge coukd spend the night and i have him weds and fridays.

She said only contact she wants is through email and that it only has to be about the kids.

I met her outside her work because i had my sons belongings, i was going to help her to the bus stop but she said that her mum is picking her up.....we chatted and was civil and then her mum picked her up.

That night her mum text my brother and said the harrasment warning is still in place and that if he meets her at her workplace agsin il report him to the police, even though the meeting ooint the court gave us was 10secs away from her workplace.

I have been civil and we have been exchainging emails of our son....she says the baby will have my surname and she will let me know when shes giving birth so i can be their, i sound calm but im very upset, i miss her everday and i feel like someone has died, i feel like shes not hurting and shes so stubborn.....i wrote her a 16 page letter telling her i wud change but says that i have said it all before l really do want her back.....i want us to be a family again.

We went to court and i have my son 2 days a week......its so hard not seeing him all the time.

She read my letters but says it doesnt change anything....i begged her to give our family a 2nd chance but she says she doesnt love me anymore and its over.

Im going to give her space....its so hard because in 12 weeks time the new baby will be here.....im hoping that i can show her i have changed and we do have loads in common and i will communicate more.

We have been civil and do email eachother but only about my son and baby....not allowed to talk about my feelings or the past relationship.

I just wished she would change her mind but i dont see it happening.

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I just wished she would change her mind but i dont see it happening.

 

 

Nope. Over. Women in this position hang on until there is just nothing at all left in the "Love Tank". Nothing left, the tank is dry, absolutely nothing left. That is why when they leave they can do it in such a final cold way and feel nothing.

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Nope. Over. Women in this position hang on until there is just nothing at all left in the "Love Tank". Nothing left, the tank is dry, absolutely nothing left. That is why when they leave they can do it in such a final cold way and feel nothing.

 

Exactly this ^^

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Oh boy.

 

Get a LAWYER immediately. The minute the cops have to get involved & there are allegations of abuse flying, you need to protect yourself.

 

Next get a DNA test on the new baby. I don't always jump to the cheating bandwagon first but here . . . after 10 years, no ring & a kid, her "sudden" actions make me wonder.

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Thankyou for your reply.

 

I was dropping my son off in town but my son didnt want to leave me, his mum needed to catch the bus and she said she can not stand around because her legs hurt her so i ofderd her a lift home.

I was suprised when she said ok.

We chatted and laughed and joked.....i even asked for my letter back, she said no im kicking him, i asked why and she smiled.

She even asked me question......she asked if my family hate her for going through all drama, i told her they are not haooy but i have told them why your doing this and its your choice and they have to respect that.

She said she hasnt been sleeping at all with the baby moving and for whats happend, she said she only took it to court because she was afraid i would take brooklyn away from her.

Which i would never do.....shes his mum, a great mum at that. I think its just been blown out of proportion.

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I do have a solicitor, she doesnt, we go back to court on 9th October.

 

I just need to give her space.....just hard when kids are involved, we are both excited over the baby and her doctor has said she has anaemia.....very low iron so shes tired and drained and is not sleeping, obviously shes not happy.

 

I know she has feelings for me the way she talks to me......only time will tell.

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Get a LAWYER immediately. The minute the cops have to get involved & there are allegations of abuse flying, you need to protect yourself.

 

Next get a DNA test on the new baby. I don't always jump to the cheating bandwagon first but here . . . after 10 years, no ring & a kid, her "sudden" actions make me wonder.

 

 

I tend to agree but if he backs off and doesn't start beating on her door at 11pm again he may be alright. I don't think this was sudden,...it may seem sudden to him, but not to her. She has the classic signs of a woman that has finally reached the end of her rope over a period of time. The third line of the very first message said, "... and broke up more times then i can remember". This pattern of disaster has been going on the whole time.

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During this lift home your baby mamma admitted that she took you to court on the abuse allegations, not because they were true, but because she lied to get leverage in a custody fight. That is called malicious abuse of process, filing a false report & perjury. They are all illegal acts. Tell your solicitor & let that person figure out how to deal with the fact that you acquired that knowledge while in violation of a Court Order to stay away from her. While that order is in place you are in violation for interacting with her. Stop. She is an unstable liar. Get it fixed the right way -- by having her charged with lying -- and then get custody of your son while she's serving the sentences for what she did. Whenever you are around her in the future have witnesses.

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During this lift home your baby mamma admitted that she took you to court on the abuse allegations, not because they were true, but because she lied to get leverage in a custody fight. That is called malicious abuse of process, filing a false report & perjury. They are all illegal acts. Tell your solicitor & let that person figure out how to deal with the fact that you acquired that knowledge while in violation of a Court Order to stay away from her. While that order is in place you are in violation for interacting with her. Stop. She is an unstable liar. Get it fixed the right way -- by having her charged with lying -- and then get custody of your son while she's serving the sentences for what she did. Whenever you are around her in the future have witnesses.

Good point.

Impossible to prove.

She could just tell the police that she lied to him about the real reason because she was afraid of what he would do if she accused him of abuse to his face (which could also be true).

Note to self: Don't ever have a Baby Momma

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During this lift home your baby mamma admitted that she took you to court on the abuse allegations, not because they were true, but because she lied to get leverage in a custody fight. That is called malicious abuse of process, filing a false report & perjury. They are all illegal acts. Tell your solicitor & let that person figure out how to deal with the fact that you acquired that knowledge while in violation of a Court Order to stay away from her. While that order is in place you are in violation for interacting with her. Stop. She is an unstable liar. Get it fixed the right way -- by having her charged with lying -- and then get custody of your son while she's serving the sentences for what she did. Whenever you are around her in the future have witnesses.

 

If you read the opening post the OP doesn't say she went to court and claimed physical abuse. He says she told csa that she left because she felt abused. How do you know that wasn't true? I've left relationships because I felt abused even though I was not physically assaulted. Somebody losing their temper all of the time, yelling at me and calling me vile names feels abusive to me. Not saying the OP was doing those things but just saying you have no idea if his ex's reason for leaving was because she felt abused. It doesn't sound like she made false allegations of physical abuse, she just said she felt abused. How is it lying or malicious of her to say how she felt when she left?

 

OP I tend to agree with PRW. It sounds like there is a history of toxicity in this relationship that has caused your ex to lose all feelings. As that poster said, many women will fight tooth and nail to save a bad relationship and they won't let go until all of their loving feelings are completely dead and gone. Then they can walk away easily because they know they tried everything and because they have already grieved the death of the relationship.

 

I'd be curious to know how this relationship looked from your ex's perspective. How do you have an argument over tea? You say you want to prove to her that you can change. What do you think you need to change? You didn't say much about the history between you two other than to say that there have been numerous break ups and that you didn't think the shouting was that bad. You went into great detail of how she has mistreated you since she left but you say very little about what was going on before she left.

 

Obviously she didn't leave her longterm partner and father of her children over an argument about tea. There were clearly unresolved issues festering and causing resentment and it sounds like an unhealthy relationship has finally taken its last breath. The best thing to do now is to get a fair custody arrangement and to focus on being a good dad. Perhaps with time and space your ex will decide that maybe the relationship can be revived or maybe you will both decide that ending it was for the best.

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Im not saying its going to be easy but i do believe we can work things out.......i havnt ever hit her and i think that favours me in someway, she knows i would never hurt her or my son, thats why she has giving me access.

I do believe this happend for a reason and we can move on from this.....shes very stressed and hormonel.

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  • 2 months later...
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Just a update

 

This whole thing as been a nightmare.

But she came birth to my son a week ago and shes still living at her parents but starting to come round to the idea of workimg things out for the kids, i almost gave up.....but if someone is telling you to move on and hormones dont do nothing, then your wrong! After my son was born all the hate and anger disappeared and she loves me again....never give up!!!

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