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my ex is confūsing..**Updated**


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My ex girlfriend is so confusing. We broke up almost 6 months ago. I was miserable after the break up. Although we stayed in contact, we barely talked. We had a lot of arguments. I really loved her and I still do... we have been through a lot together after our break up but we had a really good relationship. Approximately 2 months ago, she started ignoring me, she ignored all my texts and ghosted me for a month. A month later, she texted me out of the blue saying she wants to be friends and that she’s over it. She is always being dry though and mostly ignoring me. What should I do? I stopped texting her again after she ignored my last texts.. what do y’all think? Does she still care about me and what should I do?

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She still wants to be friends. Hmmm. I hate that. It happened to me recently. If you still have feelings for her tell her that you don't want her friendship you want her love. If not then try to forget her somehow (I know, I know, it's very hard), but being friends with someone you still have feelings for? I don't think it's a good idea. I have no idea if she still cares about you. If she does, her pride probably won't let her accept it. Look at me giving advice, when I myself am a huge mess.

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Move on, have no contact. She's been done for some time and you just moved from plan b to plan c. Stop feeding her ego and begging for breadcrumbs you can do better given time.

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There’s nothing confusing about this.

 

She took the time to herself to get over you, fully.

 

Instead of just ignoring you out of the blue, she said she’d like to be friends and that she is over it. Okay, nobody lies about that. Don’t construe those words, but take it at face value. She means it when she says she’s over it.

 

Clearly you still love this girl. Clearly you can’t handle a friendship with her. So I personally wouldn’t ignore her. I’d tell her, something along the lines of,

 

“Listen, I simply cannot be your friend. In my eyes I can’t see you that way. I wish you well, I always will, but I’m not going to agree to something that I’m not ready for. Etc etc etc”

 

Don’t cling on to hope. I did the same thing and it only wasted my time. Focus on yourself, and accept that what you two had is over.

 

That doesn’t mean completely forget about her, or hate her, but just know that time in your life is now part of your past. She is a memory, a good memory, but a memory that you once had to sought out for, that you had to create. So go out there, and date whenever your ready. Make more memories with the people you love.

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There’s nothing confusing about this.

 

She took the time to herself to get over you, fully.

 

Instead of just ignoring you out of the blue, she said she’d like to be friends and that she is over it. Okay, nobody lies about that. Don’t construe those words, but take it at face value. She means it when she says she’s over it.

 

Clearly you still love this girl. Clearly you can’t handle a friendship with her. So I personally wouldn’t ignore her. I’d tell her, something along the lines of,

 

“Listen, I simply cannot be your friend. In my eyes I can’t see you that way. I wish you well, I always will, but I’m not going to agree to something that I’m not ready for. Etc etc etc”

 

Don’t cling on to hope. I did the same thing and it only wasted my time. Focus on yourself, and accept that what you two had is over.

 

That doesn’t mean completely forget about her, or hate her, but just know that time in your life is now part of your past. She is a memory, a good memory, but a memory that you once had to sought out for, that you had to create. So go out there, and date whenever your ready. Make more memories with the people you love.

 

Noo, here’s the thing, she always ignores me and then texts me out of the blue after I stop texting her and decide to move on? I’m not the one who is ignoring her, she ignored my last 4 texts. Why would she always leave and then come back? And should just stop texting her?

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She cares about you in the sense that she thinks you are a good person & she doesn't want to be the source of your pain.

 

She does not want to be back together. She doesn't even really want to be friends. Post break up friendships are not friendships. The two people do not talk regularly or hang out. At best they co-exist peacefully & don't cause public scenes when they bump into each other on the street.

 

Plus as soon as one of the EXs gets a new SO, that new SO will rightfully demand that all ties with an EX be severed.

 

If you hope to heal, you need to go NC. Every time you see her, talk to her, or think about her, you set yourself back. You are still clinging to the false hope that she is coming back. Until you resign yourself to accepting that it's over, you will remain unhappy because you don't give yourself a chance to heal. Yes you should stop texting her whether you initiate or respond. Delete her contact info from your phone & block. You can't be trusted to resist temptation to reach out.

 

You think the relationship was so good. She thinks it was so bad, it had to end. There is a serious disconnect there.

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She cares about you in the sense that she thinks you are a good person & she doesn't want to be the source of your pain.

 

She does not want to be back together. She doesn't even really want to be friends. Post break up friendships are not friendships. The two people do not talk regularly or hang out. At best they co-exist peacefully & don't cause public scenes when they bump into each other on the street.

 

Plus as soon as one of the EXs gets a new SO, that new SO will rightfully demand that all ties with an EX be severed.

 

If you hope to heal, you need to go NC. Every time you see her, talk to her, or think about her, you set yourself back. You are still clinging to the false hope that she is coming back. Until you resign yourself to accepting that it's over, you will remain unhappy because you don't give yourself a chance to heal. Yes you should stop texting her whether you initiate or respond. Delete her contact info from your phone & block. You can't be trusted to resist temptation to reach out.

 

You think the relationship was so good. She thinks it was so bad, it had to end. There is a serious disconnect there.

 

I just don’t understand why she would come back and break a one month of nc streak just to leave again? And no, we had a really good relationship. A misunderstanding got in the way but we got over it now. She always does this, ignore me for a specific period of time and then come back? But she’s mostly ignoring me so I don’t fkin understand. Someone hęlp me pls?

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I just had a woman try to do this to me after 9 months of no-contact. Come's waltzing back in after 9 months, so I gave her enough chances to show she actually had friendly intentions and it became evident she did not. Told her to get it together and leave me alone. d0nnivain is right, not a real friend, and her reasoning is mean and selfish, she does not deserve your friendship, it's all just string.

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I just had a woman try to do this to me after 9 months of no-contact. Come's waltzing back in after 9 months, so I gave her enough chances to show she actually had friendly intentions and it became evident she did not. Told her to get it together and leave me alone. d0nnivain is right, not a real friend, and her reasoning is mean and selfish, she does not deserve your friendship, it's all just string.

 

Thanks man :/ i won’t contact her again since she ignored the last texts i sent her. maybe she just needed an ego boost, that’s why she contacted me. This sucks. I really love this woman and i can’t ever say no to her, it’s a struggle that I’m struggling with. I won’t contact her if she doesn’t try to contact me first but what should I do if she comes back like she always does? like what am I supposed to do if she texts me again? hēlp plz.

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Delete her number out of your phone & block the #. That way you will never know she tried to contact you.

 

If she does reach out have enough self respect to not respond. Right now she has you on a string & is playing your feelings like a yo-yo. If you want that to stop, you have to cut the cord.

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Delete her number out of your phone & block the #. That way you will never know she tried to contact you.

 

If she does reach out have enough self respect to not respond. Right now she has you on a string & is playing your feelings like a yo-yo. If you want that to stop, you have to cut the cord.

 

The problem is that I’m still in love with her.. and I truly care about her. I don’t want to hurt her in any way. What if me not responding to her if she reaches out to me hurts her? Also i won’t block her.. that’s just way too mean.

 

Maybe she still cares about me or loves me but can’t be with me so she’s jut trying to avoid me? Should I send her another text to see if she will respond?

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The problem is that I’m still in love with her.. and I truly care about her. I don’t want to hurt her in any way. What if me not responding to her if she reaches out to me hurts her? Also i won’t block her.. that’s just way too mean.

 

Maybe she still cares about me or loves me but can’t be with me so she’s jut trying to avoid me? Should I send her another text to see if she will respond?

 

Dude, if you loved someone would you dump them? She doesn’t love you nor care about your feelings. Moreover, if there is even a slim chance of reconciliation, you responding to anything less than she wants you back will ruin it.

 

Women don’t like to have people hate them. Couple that with the desire for attention and the easing of her guilt is why she is reaching out.

 

Her new bf might not be aware she is reaching out, but her new rl will kill her desire to do so. So basically she will reach out until she finds someone else to keep you on the hook (ie: keep your attention until she gets it from someone else).

 

You have to worry about you. Imagine you are worried about how she might be hurt. Do you think she cares you are hurting after she dumped you?

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The problem is that I’m still in love with her.. and I truly care about her. I don’t want to hurt her in any way. What if me not responding to her if she reaches out to me hurts her? Also i won’t block her.. that’s just way too mean.

 

Maybe she still cares about me or loves me but can’t be with me so she’s jut trying to avoid me? Should I send her another text to see if she will respond?

 

So what that you love her? She DOES NOT LOVE YOU. She's not trying to avoid you because she still loves you. She is avoiding you because you aren't getting the message that she wants nothing to do with you. She reaches out when she wants her ego stroked. She knows the minute she crooks her little finger at you that you will jump on command & ask how high. It's a fun power trip for you.

 

Blocking isn't mean. It's an act of self preservation.

 

But since you still love her, you are going to send more texts & you are going to respond when she calls. By chasing her you continue to prove to her that you are a doormat not a man & you are somebody who she can jerk around with no consequences. Every day you do this she will have less & less respect for you. If you think being so supplicant is the way to her heart, carry on. I think she's going to wipe her feet on you (or worse) until she bores of toying with you then moves on to a new guy she sees as a Man.

 

You have already wasted one half of a year on a woman who doesn't want you? How much more time are you going to give her?

 

When you are ready to reclaim your soul & your manhood you will finally be able to say no to this woman who is toying with you.

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So what that you love her? She DOES NOT LOVE YOU. She's not trying to avoid you because she still loves you. She is avoiding you because you aren't getting the message that she wants nothing to do with you. She reaches out when she wants her ego stroked. She knows the minute she crooks her little finger at you that you will jump on command & ask how high. It's a fun power trip for you.

 

Blocking isn't mean. It's an act of self preservation.

 

But since you still love her, you are going to send more texts & you are going to respond when she calls. By chasing her you continue to prove to her that you are a doormat not a man & you are somebody who she can jerk around with no consequences. Every day you do this she will have less & less respect for you. If you think being so supplicant is the way to her heart, carry on. I think she's going to wipe her feet on you (or worse) until she bores of toying with you then moves on to a new guy she sees as a Man.

 

You have already wasted one half of a year on a woman who doesn't want you? How much more time are you going to give her?

 

When you are ready to reclaim your soul & your manhood you will finally be able to say no to this woman who is toying with you.

 

 

Hey man, thank you for your advice. Your words really helped me.. I’ve come to a conclusion that I won’t text her again. It was her decision to stop talking to me so I’ll respect it and move on, even if it will be hard. I just don’t understand why she always comes back because I know she’s not like those girls who love attention and can’t live without it... she might still care for me, I don’t really know. I’m still confused. But hey! If she wanted to talk to me then she wouldn’t have ignored my last texts, right? It’s weird because she always texts me after I stop texting her.. I think she doesn’t want to lose me and she even told me that once like 4 months after our break! I’ll have some self-respect and stop texting her. I won’t let her step on my dignity again but I love her man :/ sometimes she acts like she cares and other times like she doesn’t.. what if she is just upset with me or something? What if she is waiting for me to text her first?

 

P.S: we didn’t break up because she didn’t love me anymore.. she was madly in love with me but we broke up because of something else.

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She doesn't want to ever have sex with you again. She just wants to keep you as a friend, which you should not do since you still love her and it will only prolong you moving on. I can tell you that many women are just fine being "just friends" with men they either have or have not dated, whereas men rarely want to invest in a friendship unless there is sex on the horizon -- perfectly understandable with an ex. She's not taking your feelings into consideration. She doesn't understand you will need a clean break with no "hope" in the way of contact to move on. This is not her trying to get back together. I would tell her no to being friends and just be honest and say you feel more than friends with her and you can't be just friends while she bends your ear about her latest date, etc. Too hurtful. Sorry.

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Hey man, thank you for your advice. Your words really helped me.. I’ve come to a conclusion that I won’t text her again. It was her decision to stop talking to me so I’ll respect it and move on, even if it will be hard. I just don’t understand why she always comes back because I know she’s not like those girls who love attention and can’t live without it... she might still care for me, I don’t really know. I’m still confused. But hey! If she wanted to talk to me then she wouldn’t have ignored my last texts, right? It’s weird because she always texts me after I stop texting her.. I think she doesn’t want to lose me and she even told me that once like 4 months after our break! I’ll have some self-respect and stop texting her. I won’t let her step on my dignity again but I love her man :/ sometimes she acts like she cares and other times like she doesn’t.. what if she is just upset with me or something? What if she is waiting for me to text her first?

 

P.S: we didn’t break up because she didn’t love me anymore.. she was madly in love with me but we broke up because of something else.

 

Noo, here’s the thing, she always ignores me and then texts me out of the blue after I stop texting her and decide to move on? I’m not the one who is ignoring her, she ignored my last 4 texts. Why would she always leave and then come back? And should just stop texting her?

 

Well did you agree to being friends?

 

Even if not, she’s texting you to show you she has no hatred towards you, or to mend what has been broken, BUT since you keep biting (4 texts in a row) she’s also showing you that she’s not interested. She really does see you as a friend, but is also shutting you down whenever you become over eager.

 

I’m getting the feel you both are a young couple. And though I am young myself (21) and so was my ex, we were mature enough to give each other the space to move on. I thank her for that, and that to me shows how much she loved me.

 

I’m not saying she doesn’t love you, because I’m sure you both had a great time together. What I am saying is that she isn’t being mature about the situation. So that’s where you need to say what I told you to say, and then block her. Don’t tell her your blocking her but do it because YOU need to move on.

 

It also took months for me to block my ex, mainly because I was scared to see how’d she react. “I don’t want her thinking I hate her.” “I don’t want to seem childish” Basically my reasoning always involved her when IT SHOULD NOT. You block because you are hurting right now and the only way to move on is to have her out of your life. Like someone said before, it’s self preserving. Yes, you didn’t get to choose whether the relationship would continue or end but you can decide NOW to either still be sad or to be happy.

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OP, it's not as confusing as you think it is.

 

- You still want a relationship with her

- She does not want a relationship with you

- She does not want you to hate her and/or she wants you in her life on her terms (i.e. friends)

- She periodically texts you when she senses you may be pulling away

- Once she knows you're still on her hook, she relaxes and goes back to ignoring you

- Rinse and repeat the previous two steps

 

Trust me, this isn't going to be a means of getting back with her. She will continue to do this, all the while further detaching from your relationship. Eventually, she will start to date someone else and you will feel crushed because you will have still not accepted that it's over.

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OP, it's not as confusing as you think it is.

 

- You still want a relationship with her

- She does not want a relationship with you

- She does not want you to hate her and/or she wants you in her life on her terms (i.e. friends)

- She periodically texts you when she senses you may be pulling away

- Once she knows you're still on her hook, she relaxes and goes back to ignoring you

- Rinse and repeat the previous two steps

 

Trust me, this isn't going to be a means of getting back with her. She will continue to do this, all the while further detaching from your relationship. Eventually, she will start to date someone else and you will feel crushed because you will have still not accepted that it's over.

 

I see... what do you suggest me to do then? By the way, thank you for helping me understand. I really love her and I don’t know what to do. It’s been a while now since I last texted her.

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Well did you agree to being friends?

 

Even if not, she’s texting you to show you she has no hatred towards you, or to mend what has been broken, BUT since you keep biting (4 texts in a row) she’s also showing you that she’s not interested. She really does see you as a friend, but is also shutting you down whenever you become over eager.

 

I’m getting the feel you both are a young couple. And though I am young myself (21) and so was my ex, we were mature enough to give each other the space to move on. I thank her for that, and that to me shows how much she loved me.

 

I’m not saying she doesn’t love you, because I’m sure you both had a great time together. What I am saying is that she isn’t being mature about the situation. So that’s where you need to say what I told you to say, and then block her. Don’t tell her your blocking her but do it because YOU need to move on.

 

It also took months for me to block my ex, mainly because I was scared to see how’d she react. “I don’t want her thinking I hate her.” “I don’t want to seem childish” Basically my reasoning always involved her when IT SHOULD NOT. You block because you are hurting right now and the only way to move on is to have her out of your life. Like someone said before, it’s self preserving. Yes, you didn’t get to choose whether the relationship would continue or end but you can decide NOW to either still be sad or to be happy.

 

No actually, we both are 21. But yeah, pretty young, I’d say. Thanks man! I stopped texting her and it’s been a while now and she still hasn’t replied... I don’t know if she ever will but we will see. I’ll keep it that way until then. It’s time for me to move on even if I still love her. What do you suggest me to do? Any tips?

 

Yes, It was unfair and childish from her to contact me and then ignore me afterwards. She’s always been mature. I don’t know why she’s being immature now. All I know is that I still love her :(

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I see... what do you suggest me to do then? By the way, thank you for helping me understand. I really love her and I don’t know what to do. It’s been a while now since I last texted her.

 

 

Get it through your head that your love for her does not matter any more. All that matters is she no longer loves you.

 

What we want you to do is block her, stop letting her treat you like a doormat, man up & start healing.

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No actually, we both are 21. But yeah, pretty young, I’d say. Thanks man! I stopped texting her and it’s been a while now and she still hasn’t replied... I don’t know if she ever will but we will see. I’ll keep it that way until then. It’s time for me to move on even if I still love her. What do you suggest me to do? Any tips?

 

Yes, It was unfair and childish from her to contact me and then ignore me afterwards. She’s always been mature. I don’t know why she’s being immature now. All I know is that I still love her :(

 

No, we WON’T see if she’ll text back. See, you’re doing it again. Your waiting for her response which is preventing your healing.

 

I already told you what to do, twice now.

 

And that is to block her on everything. Considering she left you on read, there’s no need to tell her anything.

 

Just block and disappear from her life. We’re all saying the same thing because we’ve gone through this before. No matter how much you love her, no matter how much you want it to work, she ended the relationship. And now that she has ended it, she’s continuing to show signs that you both won’t ever get back together.

 

Please do what’s right for you and move forward. Keeping her in the loop is hurting you. Don’t you see?

 

I’ve literally walked in your shoes before. Me and my ex were on a “break” for three months, keeping me in limbo. The uncertainty killed me. Waiting for her to text me back drained me of my energy. If she gave me attention, I was so happy, and if she ignored me, I went back to being hurt. It’s a vicious cycle that didn’t end until I blocked her from everything.

 

Out of sight = out of mind.

 

You need to stop being reminded of this girl. Take action for the betterment of yourself.

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You're young and we've all seen the fiction movies where determination wins the girl back. But that's fiction. You can't make someone love you.

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