Tweekz Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 I live in Quebec,Canada and she lives in New Jersey,USA I am 26 years old and she is 28 years old We met multiple times, we got to spend a lot of time together,we travelled together.. I gave her and her family support when her brother died.., she loves my family and i love her family and vice versa.. all in all.. I drove about 25,000 miles in about a year. She doesn't drive so I did all the driving (Quebec-New Jersey).. we have so much memories together, it's crazy. We dated for 2 years and i thought our relationship was doing great but apparently she hasn't been happy in it.. she told me it was the fighting and my temperament..she told me it was also the little things i didn't do for her when she asked (speak to her in french, read her stories, sing her songs) she also said that we weren't compatible.. and she felt disconnected from me and yes we had regular sex... hell we had awesome sex and did allll sorts of activities together like 3 weeks before she broke up with me. She broke up with me about a month ago, I was at her house.. I spent about a week and half there (after she broke up with me). She talked to this guy 24/7 and she was glued to her phone, but she would still allow us to cuddle each other and she would still hold my hand (she even said that she still loved me and all this stuff in a serious talk we had.. but that she just needed time and space). it was also my birthday, and she spent nearly 200$ on my birthday. I found out though that she was being very sexual to him. SO that made me leave her house.. I was so broken.. it's been two weeks now that I left her house and she's been super SUUPER cold towards my feelings, even to say that she doesn't love me like that anymore... that she's falling deeply for him... and they're talking about dating and having a relationship with each other. (she's known him for a month and he lives in Washington State.. No.. not Washington D.C) she claims that she still wants to be my friend and still hang out as best friends. I have been an emotional wreck and I begged her... pleaded her.. trying desperately getting her back. I realised the more I do that.. the more she despises me... SO I stopped. She still lives at her mom's because she had brain surgery and cancer in the pass.. so her mom takes care of her. Her mother is flipping out that she broke up with me and she won't let them meet in real. she refuses to let that happen.. She's trying to break them off. I told her in the past while we were still dating that I would love to move in the U.S to live with her and she was all in for it when we would discuss it. she had a minor cancer (i don't remember where) it was way before i met her though. Her brain surgery was 2 years ago.. it was needed because there was a cell cluster on her brain, it was caused by the cancer treatments, she was operated just a couple months after we started dating. but she is taking a lot of meds for it, for minor seizures (her meds don't mess with her mood.. they mess up with her memory mostly). The fights/arguments were mostly just scuffles and my temper was more like.. I was short patience.. but there was no violence. Also she met this guy on SecondLife. I've talked to a lot of people and everyone keeps saying that I should just forget her.. But I really really want her back. What can I do to get her back???? Is she on a rebound relationship??? she acts like she doesn't give two ****s about my feelings but I feel like it's all horse****.. there's no way she could of gotten over me this quickly.. especially since she even said herself to her mom that I was an amazing man but that I wasn't the one for her and goes on to keep defending this douche from Washington. She still has all of our ''couple pictures'' on her Facebook, she still has all the pictures of all of our memories, places and activities we did together. All on her Facebook.. Listen.. I know most of you will be like just forget her just forget her.. but.. I don't want to give up on her. I want to know how I can get her back.... Is she in a rebound relationship right now?? and if yes.. Why?? What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 Two years is a long time to do a LDR, especially if there's no end point in sight. My guess would be that while she cares, she has been detaching from the relationship for a while. So for her, it's not a sudden breakup. She's been checking out over time as she evaluates the relationship. Honestly, there's not really much you can do. It sounds like you were already putting in the lion's share of the work during the relationship. The guy is probably a distraction, but it's important to remember that if she was communicating with him soon after the breakup, it's unlikely he wasn't in the picture before she broke up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tweekz Posted August 26, 2018 Author Share Posted August 26, 2018 Two years is a long time to do a LDR, especially if there's no end point in sight. My guess would be that while she cares, she has been detaching from the relationship for a while. So for her, it's not a sudden breakup. She's been checking out over time as she evaluates the relationship. Honestly, there's not really much you can do. It sounds like you were already putting in the lion's share of the work during the relationship. The guy is probably a distraction, but it's important to remember that if she was communicating with him soon after the breakup, it's unlikely he wasn't in the picture before she broke up with you. I asked her that a few days ago. She has no reason to lie to me at this point. she met and started talking to him just days after we broke up. So.. from that information, these 2 only talked for about a month. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 The guy is probably a distraction, but it's important to remember that if she was communicating with him soon after the breakup, it's unlikely he wasn't in the picture before she broke up with you. Yes, exactly. OP, the reason she would lie about this is because she knows it will make her look like a crappy person if she admitted she's had her eye on him for a little while. Anything is possible, but I think it's extremely unlikely this guy only popped up after she broke up with you, despite what she says. Aside from him, it is very difficult to keep long-distance going when you're so far apart and there's no end date in sight to close the distance. Unfortunately, if she doesn't want this anymore, there's not much you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 And I don't even mean that he was in the picture in a romantic context; just that they were probably not total strangers. Once she decided to end the relationship, she proceeded to change the dynamic of her interactions with this person. Link to post Share on other sites
Thingsfallapart Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 OP, You can’t save this relationship and you won’t get her back. She was monkey-branching out of the relationship. When she felt secure enough with the new branch (replacement guy) she let go of your branch (you). But she is keeping you around in case she finds the new branch unsure and needs to jump back. The sooner you move on the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 Hard no contact Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 There is nothing you can do to get her back. She has moved on to him. Even if she did come back after dumping you for him, at that point you shouldn't want her because she would only be back if she couldn't have him. You'd be second choice & that would not be good for you. Similarly, her off of friendship only is almost torture. You can't have a front row seat to her new romance. It will kill you to watch that. Don't torture yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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