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Broken heart


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Broken heart3z

Hi,

 

I’m new here on this forum. My boyfriend of many weeks broke up with me. He was my first boyfriend and was older than me. I feel very broken hearted. The breakup was a surprise and came completely out of nowhere. He blindsided me and when he was breaking up with me, he didn’t really give me a reason. I don’t understand how someone could breakup without explanating the real reason why.

 

A few things about him- he is in his early thirties and told me he has only been in a couple of short term relationships over the years. He said that all of his relationships were short term. He has been in 3 (or possibly 4 relationships. It seems odd to me that a guy who is so good-looking has only been in a few relationships at his age. It’s also puzzling as to why most of the girls were long distance and also why all of the relationships were short term. I don’t know why he hasn’t been in anything long term. Many people have told me he has commitment issues, but I don’t know. My heart is broken. I would appreciate any comments.

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Broken heart3z

My boyfriend recently broke up with me. He was my first boyfriend and I took the necessary time to cry, grieve, talk to my friend, etc. That lasted for about 3 weeks and I was starting to feel much better. During the 4th week, I started having really bad anxiety. I’ve had anxiety before, but I’ve always managed it and it was bearable. Last week, it became unbearable. I know that the breakup was really hard on me, but I thought I was coping well and I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way.

 

There were times where I’d wake up in the morning and feel scared for an hour or so for absolutely no reason. There were times where I felt like my thoughts were racing. I almost felt like I was losing my mind. I had fears about getting sick, something bad happening to my family, or someone dying. Crying and talking wouldn’t relieve it. I felt miserable. I felt like I couldn’t control my mind and I kept thinking about my ex.

 

This isn’t like me to feel this way. I’m usually calm and have never felt this way in my life. I don’t really want to take meds, so I decided to take a B complex and multivitamin and yesterday I bought an herb (Ashwagandha). I also bought 3 teas for stress, including Lemonbalm and Chamomile.

 

I appreciate any suggestions or commitment as this is a very hard time.

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Oh honey my heart breaks for you. It took you a long while to find your 1st BF & the relationship was painfully short. You were blindsided because your lack of experience in dating probably caused you to miss some cues. Inexperience can often lead to painful results. But like anything else, dating gets a bit easier the more you do it. Sadly you picked somebody who himself wasn't good at relationships either.

 

The acute pain does dissipate. Take time to care for yourself & self soothe. Then put yourself back out there. You can do this. Know you have a lot to offer the right person.

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Learn about mindfulness, meditation & yoga. All will help calm & center you.

 

 

Best wishes. You are doing the right things.

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This is a guy with his own issues. I wouldn't be surprised if he has certain disorders. It is possible to reach out to him and get back together, but I can almost guarantee you he will break up with you again. I doubt you have the stomach for it. And you are so young, and I assume you yourself are not a broken person. This is not for you.

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