Anxiety after break up

[Maxxxy]

So my girlfriend broke up with me and I keep getting thoughts that I can't control about her finding another person, she showed all her friends messages I sent to her when i was sad and I got told they laughed about them and was mocking me... I was crying and heartbroken at the time but even after all this I still get sad thinking about her.. I don't want her back because of what she's put me through but at the same time I can't stop thinking about her finding someone else and worrying that her friends and her and are laughing about me and it hurts so bad...

I'm only 15 and I know "it gets better" but as young as I am it still hurts so much knowing I'm not gonna feel the same way and I don't know who to talk to... Thanks

 

ps, I always worry about what people think of me and I'm not sure if that's anxiety but it doesn't feel good as I'm always trying to please everyone and when i don't i feel like they don't like me

[carhill]

It's a good learning experience at your age about dealing with anxiety as well as relationships. If you're fortunate you'll have many girlfriends and experience many breakups. After awhile, they start to flow.

 

About what people think of you, that's one of those control things, out of your control and, mostly, people are so involved in their own lives that you, or I, don't even register.

 

If you find the anxiety to be debilitating and feel stuck, talk to your parents and perhaps get some professional assistance. I dealt with some of that as a teen, especially after being beaten by peers, so can empathize. You'll work it out. Good on ya for having a girlfriend though. That helps. You'll have others.

 

Welcome to LS!

[overcome]

Max,

 

Sorry to hear about this. You're young and I have to assume the girl you were seeing was also young. She's clearly immature and unfortunately that's normal for most girls at that age.

 

As for the constant thoughts about her with someone else...totally normal. We all go through it after a breakup. Who can you talk to? How about friends and family? If you're not comfortable with that or if it's not an option, could you see a therapist?

 

Worrying about what others think of you and trying to please them is something that I do as well. You're not alone. I don't think it's the worst characteristic you can have. At some point in your life, you'll learn that what people think of you is not of the utmost importance. But it takes time to come to that conclusion.

 

Anxiety is part of life. But like Carhill said, if it becomes severe, you need to see about getting help to cope.

 

This breakup will pass and one day you'll find another girl who makes you much happier.

 

Hang in there!

[d0nnivain]

You are 15. It sucks getting your heart broken at any age but when you are young & learning to navigate the world it sucks worse because you feel like you are at such a loss.

 

First, stop worrying that she will find somebody else. That's not an "if". It's a certainty. However, you will also find somebody else. Very few people spend forever with their HS BF/GF.

 

Second, you have now learned that kids can be cruel. Her sharing your sad messages with her friends is a sign of immaturity. Most teens are immature so while it's a horrible thing that these people did to you, it's pretty typical. I doubt she did it to hurt you. It was probably more of a bragging thing on her part -- she wanted to be the center of attention so showing her friends the inside of the break up was her way of keeping the spotlight.

 

Third, all people are self conscious. Everybody worries what others think of them. The trick is to like yourself enough to not be bothered. There comes a point when you don't care what your detractors think. You grow into a confident person comfortable in your own skin. Read some books about developing self confidence as a teen. Look on Amazon