richdeniro Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Things ended with someone who was a FWB to me for the last 6 months a few of weeks ago. We were exclusive and probably more than FWB during that time but I didn't really want to break up so let her know that. We took a short break of contact but got back in touch and are friends (although she knows I do want to get back together). Anyway she is chatting with a new guy on Whatsapp, there isn't anything physical as far as I know yet and they have only met a couple of times. However they are obviously texting a hell of a lot and she is probably getting quite attached. However out of pure curiosity I looked at his Twitter account and it full of vile racist and bigoted views. He hasn't posted the views himself and they are just retweets and likes but it's obvious where his leanings lie. I doubt very much he has conveyed any of this to her as I know people try to present their best self when they initially start dating and he probably knows those unpalatable views wouldn't appeal. I feel like I should tell her as I still care about her and don't want her to get hurt but obviously it will come across that I stalked him and am telling her in order to break them up. Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 If you are nosy enough to be snooping behind an ex, seeing who she's chatting with on Whatsapp (how do you know that) and "obviously texting a lot" (how do you know that??), I think she likely could have found the same stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Things ended with someone who was a FWB to me for the last 6 months a few of weeks ago. We were exclusive and probably more than FWB during that time but I didn't really want to break up so let her know that. We took a short break of contact but got back in touch and are friends (although she knows I do want to get back together). Anyway she is chatting with a new guy on Whatsapp, there isn't anything physical as far as I know yet and they have only met a couple of times. However they are obviously texting a hell of a lot and she is probably getting quite attached. However out of pure curiosity I looked at his Twitter account and it full of vile racist and bigoted views. He hasn't posted the views himself and they are just retweets and likes but it's obvious where his leanings lie. I doubt very much he has conveyed any of this to her as I know people try to present their best self when they initially start dating and he probably knows those unpalatable views wouldn't appeal. I feel like I should tell her as I still care about her and don't want her to get hurt but obviously it will come across that I stalked him and am telling her in order to break them up. No you should not tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Things ended with someone who was a FWB to me for the last 6 months a few of weeks ago. We were exclusive and probably more than FWB during that time but I didn't really want to break up so let her know that. We took a short break of contact but got back in touch and are friends (although she knows I do want to get back together). Anyway she is chatting with a new guy on Whatsapp, there isn't anything physical as far as I know yet and they have only met a couple of times. However they are obviously texting a hell of a lot and she is probably getting quite attached. However out of pure curiosity I looked at his Twitter account and it full of vile racist and bigoted views. He hasn't posted the views himself and they are just retweets and likes but it's obvious where his leanings lie. I doubt very much he has conveyed any of this to her as I know people try to present their best self when they initially start dating and he probably knows those unpalatable views wouldn't appeal. I feel like I should tell her as I still care about her and don't want her to get hurt but obviously it will come across that I stalked him and am telling her in order to break them up. Why would this matter to her? Does he dislike her race? Link to post Share on other sites
c.a.f. Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 NO. Do not do this. She will not care. You will not appear virtuous. This will not go as you hope. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Why would this matter to her? Does he dislike her race? Are you serious? I am white but it would be a HUGE turn off, definitely a deal breaker for me if a guy was hateful towards any race or ethnicity of people. Woyld you be ok with a partner like that as long as it wasn't aimed at people of your race? And OP, I think she'll eventually find out and have to deal with it whether or not you tell her. If youre a real friend, tell her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Well, I'm Black and it would be a HUGE turn off to me if a person was racist also. I don't know what out race has to do with others being racist; but okay. I was just wondering if this FWB is Black or another race and doesn't know that the FWB secretly hates that race. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I misunderstood, stillafool. I thought you were saying it probably wouldn't matter to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Just leave it be, OP. If this girl is at all tech-savvy, she will figure out his Twitter activity in no time anyway. And if you actually report to her, it's going to make you look creepy for staking out her new guy's social media. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I think it depends upon why you want to tell her--I mean the true reason, not the cloaked reason. If it's because you truly care about her/want to be with her/want more from her (like a relationship) and this guy is saying/reposting-agreeing with hideous stuff about people of her ethnicity, then I think it wouldn't hurt--but you also have to be ready to tell her you want to be her man at that moment, too. Are you? If this is just a jealousy thing that you no longer have access to the candy shack, then just leave it alone--she'll put two and two together in short order. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 If you care so much why was she only a FWB? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 No. She probably knows. Even if she doesn't, that's why you date, to get to know the person. It would be creepy to her that you looked at his social media, I would think. Inappropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 If you are still talking to her & you really are friends, suggest she look at his Twitter. Don't say anything else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 You’ve been calling this guy racist since your very first post on this forum. I believe you mentioned that she dated him prior to you so I’d bet she knows what a virulent racist he is. Also, in today’s society people are called racist for literally any reason at all so it’s possible that your POV of racism is a bit more all encompassing than hers. Do yourself a favor and stop watching their social media, including WhatsApp activity. It’s not beneficial to forward progress. Do not approach her with this. If he’s as awful as you say she will figure it out in due time. Link to post Share on other sites
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