Danish01 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 (edited) I am 33, have a good job, travel around and basically have a good life. Normally never had issues meeting girls and having flings but never got anything serious.But over the time you feel empty with the temporary fun and crave for that SOMEONE where you can be yourself and build something for life. And then 5 months back I met this girl in my city and went on a dinner date which went way nicer than I was expecting. We had s*x on our first night. Next day we were planning for 2nd date where I turned AFC, writing her and asking out mostly. We fixed a date after 2 days and I went on with a gift for her, waiting till I get the message she is on the way, and next thing I know she blocked me on whatsapp. A little about this girl- she is 23, a social butterfly, 10/10, having several guys lined up, buying her super expensive stuffs, had a pretty bad relationship and after that she turned bitter and had several hookups. Now back to the story- So I totally NC her for a week and sent her a sms where she responded immediately.As I was traveling we scheduled another date once I was back and he had another great date. Before leaving her place, I mentioned this is our last meeting because of her last time behavior where she cried and said she wants me and that was done by her colleagues because she was freaking out. Same week, she invited me to go out with her and meet all her girl friends. That was a great night and we end up having s*x on the same bed as her friend passed out after heavy drinking. Same night we also had a fight because I found in her phone she was sending the same reveling picture to other guys same time she was sending me whole week. Next morning , I got up wth several texts from her saying we can not hangout anymore if I don't want something serious as she wants a relationship with me , and guess what- I said yes , only if she get her life clean and get rid of previous guys from her phone/life. We had several dates where she started introducing to me too her friends and colleagues etc and many times we had fight over her texting,sending pics to her previous guys/hookups. After dating almost 2 months, we went on a weekend holiday, and that night again I saw her phone and learned the following 1. She ****ed a guy hour before coming to my place and having sex with me 2. She write to a guy that she is seeing me in front of me after our one fight, later texting him it was someone else who wrote this message from her phone. I woke her up to confront and she started panicking and packed her bag in the morning and went away. Ofcourse I tried to stop her and asked for explanation for which she just tried to run away saying she needs time to be alone. I didn't contact her for a week and she makes Instagram stories of being on a date with the 2nd guy and next day blocking me on the IG but not on other apps which she did earlier. It's been now 6 weeks, and I have maintained the NC. Not a single message. But since last 6 weeks it’s getting toughter by each passing day. I tried every means, went out with other girls, took vacation, but still can’t sleep, just the thought of being cheated is so hard to bear. My mind kmows she is not right but pain in heart is difficult. Even after 6 weeks of NC i wake up every mid night hoping if she tried to text me or call me. Though it was short but I invested myself just too much, building my dreams and world around her and she just cheated for whatever reason I don’t know. We never officially broken up though because this is something I don’t wanna give her. Edited June 25, 2018 by Danish01 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 I am sorry she turned out to be so different from what you had hoped. But that's also the crux of it - you kept hoping she was someone different who wanted a relationship, but she showed you repeatedly that she was not that girl. Nearly from the first date, she was flaky, unreliable, flirting with other guys and generally showing no sign she was serious about you. Now is your time to dig deep and figure out why you kept going back to someone like this. You overlooked so many red flags - why is that? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Look dude, she is only 23; 10 years younger than you. She was hurt by her first love and is now going to play the field and probably won't settle back down til she's around 28 or 29. I doubt she is going to settle with you at this stage in her life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Danish01 Posted June 25, 2018 Author Share Posted June 25, 2018 Well, she was the one asked me after 3rd date that she wants a relationship with me and i need to stop contact with other girls. And soon she was introducing me to her friends and colleagues as her boyfriend. So i kinda believed her that she is serious about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Danish01 Posted June 25, 2018 Author Share Posted June 25, 2018 She never dated anyone of her age, even her ex was of the same age of me. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Well, she was the one asked me after 3rd date that she wants a relationship with me and i need to stop contact with other girls. And soon she was introducing me to her friends and colleagues as her boyfriend. So i kinda believed her that she is serious about me. You need to go back and re-read your post. She randomly blocked you just before Date #2. You discovered she was sending other guys risque photos. You had many fights about this. She had sex with someone else just before your weekend getaway. She demanded that you stop contact with other girls when she obviously didn't hold herself to the same standard. With all due respect, you needed to pay a lot more attention to her actions. Her behaviour is not that of a woman looking for a serious boyfriend. She is too immature and self-centred for you, and didn't take you or your former relationship seriously. Continue No Contact and again, I recommend you start thinking about why you stayed after seeing such sketchy behaviour early on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 She never dated anyone of her age, even her ex was of the same age of me. This would be all the more reason that she would now start dating younger men. Not that you are old by any means. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Consider yourself fortunate to have dodged a bullet and go out and find a NICE girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Danish01 Posted June 26, 2018 Author Share Posted June 26, 2018 This morning again woke-up with heavy pain. Just wishing only once she contact me to express remorse and beg.. Difficult to move on without this. Still maintaining NC but getting hard day by day. Link to post Share on other sites
magnesium Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 You have too move on without closure. That's the only healthy option here, because right now, at this stage in her life, she is not capable of being mature enough to understand her own problematic behavior. Maybe she will figure it out when she turns 30, 40, 55, or never. Link to post Share on other sites
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