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i need to move on...but how?


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hi

i was in a very serious amd committed relationship for 6 years and we had to break up because of some unforseen circumstances. its been 3 months and i still miss him a lot but he has already moved on and is contemplating marriage. i am finding this very hard to cope especially in this age of social media where u get to know very easily what your ex is doing. i feel so miserable and unworthy all the time and wonder how he can move on so soon. i seem to have lost interest in things though i try to keep myself busy and not think abt him. its really crazy. how do i get over him????

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ExpatInItaly
hi

i was in a very serious amd committed relationship for 6 years and we had to break up because of some unforseen circumstances. its been 3 months and i still miss him a lot but he has already moved on and is contemplating marriage. i am finding this very hard to cope especially in this age of social media where u get to know very easily what your ex is doing. i feel so miserable and unworthy all the time and wonder how he can move on so soon. i seem to have lost interest in things though i try to keep myself busy and not think abt him. its really crazy. how do i get over him????

 

You need to block him on social media so you can't check on him, OP.

 

What were the unforeseen circumstances that ended a 6-year relationship?

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thanks for responding. well i had some serious family issues that i had to take care of so cldnt give must time to him for few months and then we decided to mutually call it off but after few months after i had sorted out my family issues i went back to him but i guess he had already moved on by then. its just that i am shocked at how quickly he has moved on whereas i was left pinning for him.

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I know it must be very hurtful. It is going to take time to get over the break up but you will get through it. You have to block everything that gives you information about him and his fiance. If you continue to look at it you will never get over this. It is important to keep yourself busy, work out, eat right and go out with other guys and your friends.

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I'm sorry. I'm glad your family issues are sorted.

 

He may be the type of person who can't be alone. That doesn't make him an ideal partner but that doesn't ease your heart.

 

You do a couple of things to move forward:

 

1. Purge -- get rid of the stuff, throw it out or box it up. If you can't bear to delete all the pictures, put them on a thumb drive & put the drive away. Disconnect on all social media. At a minimum unfriend / unfollow. You don't need a front row seat to what he's doing without you.

 

2. Move -- now is the time to join a gym or take up walking. You want to incorporate more physical movement into your life.

 

3. Shake things up -- redecorate, take a different route to work in the morning, get a hair cut, try a new coffee place, do new things that you didn't do with him. You want to cut down on the memories.

 

4. Self soothe -- surround yourself with supportive friends & family; take a bubble bathe; eat your favorite comfort foods

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