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I feel uneasy..


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VintageTree

I'm probably gonna write a long story...I just feel the need to vent out. And I want the thoughts of strangers in my situation as I find venting to friends usually don't help as they'll take your side no matter what.

 

So I'm about to be 27 in July..I been with my bf for about a year and half, He's 25. I been in a few LDRs before. I really do have feelings for him but I mentioned many times that if we don't meet soon, I'm leaving. I can understand financial difficulties but he doesn't do shxt.

 

When i first got with him, he had a job. Some things happened and he and his mother had to move. He takes care of her. OK, I'll be here to support you. But the situation has been over a year now and nothing has changed because they're too lazy to do anything about it.

 

He just games all day and smokes weed then guilt trips about so called "situations". There really isn't any. Finally I told him if he doesn't come for my bday, that's it. Guilt trips me again. He'd rather blame everything else rather than getting a damn job to better his life. He's in NY, I'm sure there's SOMETHING to do.

 

He's NEVER gotten me anything, never even tried to attempt to see me what so ever. Over a year, zero attempt. You'd think if you loved someone you'd try to see em. Hell, we don't even video chat anymore because he's too lazy to work for a damn phone ! I'm reduced to only talking on Xbox.

 

Last night I got mad that he'd rather play a game I OWN with his friend than try to talk to me. Immediately he goes and buys two full priced games..oh boy I went into a frenzy. Can't even try to save for us but immediately buys games..

 

I wasn't jumping the gun to push to meet right ? I mean a year and a half is decent enough to meet already. I think its the fact he'd rather sit at home all day smoking and gaming than work to meet me. Hell, I even OFFERED to pay for the flight. I have a full time job, I'd rather he come here because of that. Unless he actually worked, I could understand and make arrangements to go instead. But I'd be paying EVERYTHING.

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I'm sorry to tell you this, but based on what you said- he's not willing to put efforts in the relationship and he's not into you... :( I went through something somewhat similar and my ex could have actually profited over my generosity and help... but he preferred his own projects and didn't want to concentrate on our relationship at all... while he had the time to get drunk every week with his friends on gaming night. It's hard to accept someone not liking you anymore, but it's a hard truth that you have to accept at a certain point when the actions of someone just scream that they're over it. :(

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VintageTree

Yeah, he did keep trying to guilt trip me into staying with him but it seemed only to keep him from being lonely rather than how I felt. I'm not too hurt, more upset by these actions at this point. Slowly pushed me away over time.

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If you haven't actually met in real life, then you don't have a relationship. At best you have a ongoing online chat. He's not making you a priority because to him, you aren't. You aren't 'real' to him. Whatever is going on in his real life (even if it isn't much) is his priority. Cut contact with him and find someone who wants to be in your real life.

 

If you have met this guy, it's only been a year and he's already treating you this badly. Send him an email saying this isn't good enough for you and end it.

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