I don’t want to lose him

[FrankieeeL]

Looking for advice please ..my boyfriend of 6 months has just told me that he doesn’t want a relationship anymore and has to break up with me ..we met 6 months ago and from day 1 we had the best connection in every way we made each other happy had so much fun every time we met ..to this day we have never argued over anything .. 7 weeks ago he had an accident and broke his leg meaning he will not be able to work for about 5 months ? this has caused him tremendous stress as he is self employed and therefore not earning money he is finding it so hard as he is a very independent person and now everything is difficult for him I have been there for him and helped him with everything also trying to get him to keep positive and reminding him that it’s only temporary and soon he will be back on his feet .. he’s never been much of a texter whereas I am so he says that i e been putting too much pressure on him texting as he feels accountable to me and he doesent want to be ..I’ve tried to reassure him he’s not and sorry if he felt that way anyway yesterday he told me he doesent want a relationship and said how good we are together he had tears in his eyes as he was telling me ? I’m going to try and give him some space as I do feel it’s all of the stress got on top of him ..what should I do I really don’t want to lose him because it’s true we are so good together too good to lose ..sorry for the long post hope somebody can advise me x

[d0nnivain]

Men often define themselves by their work & their incomes. Being self employed is a source of pride & being an entrepreneur takes dedication; it's almost like having a child because the business needs so much attention.

 

All of that was suddenly & unexpected ripped away from your guy because of his accident. It damaged how he sees himself. He may now feel helpless, dependent & unworthy. Although 6 months is a big chunk of time it may not be enough time or a strong enough connection to allow an independent alpha male to feel comfortable allowing himself to rely on you. Because he doesn't have enough trust, he's pushing you away because he feels unworthy & helpless. He does not want to let you see him like this. I know you want to help but for him that makes it all worse.

 

 

I don't know if you are a Star Trek fan but there is an episode of The Next Generation, called Ethics, where a character named Worf becomes paralyzed & wants to commit suicide because he can't handle being weak. Your BF's situation is not as dire or extreme but if you watch the episode it may give you some more insight into why he's pushing you away.

[FrankieeeL]

Thanks so much for your reply and you’re right he hates feeling dependent he’s used

to being able to do everything for himself and now even the easiest tasks are difficult ..I’ve tried to keep him thinking positive and that his situation is only temporary..I have let him know I’m here if he wants to chat I’m just hoping that given some space he may reconsider ?

 

I don't know if you are a Star Trek fan but there is an episode of The Next Generation, called Ethics, where a character named Worf becomes paralyzed & wants to commit suicide because he can't handle being weak. Your BF's situation is not as dire or extreme but if you watch the episode it may give you some more insight into why he's pushing you away.