MrsXXX Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Hey, first post here but a long time lurker! My story is no different to many others. I’ve been dating a separated but married man - huge red flag. After a year he hasn’t introduced me to his family or children. Keeps his phone either on him or face down. Never answers the phone when I call him and always rings me back - more red flags!! Wife still works for him at his business. I see him a couple of times a week. Never really thought the relationship would go anywhere but I’ve fallen totally in love! We’ve been together just over a year. He has charmed me, wined & dined me. Brought me gifts, jewellery, couple of trips to Europe, weekends away ..... literally my mr perfect! I fancy him so much that he melts me! He hasn’t started his divorce which is his choice and I wouldn’t pressure him but it’s all too much for me to deal with. I have been dating someone else’s husband and I can’t continue it! I just got swept along! Foolish for a divorced mum of two in her early 40’s. I have a good job, great kids (22 & 16). This is my second relationship post divorce (5 yrs). I’m not looking for sympathy, I just feel too foolish about this to discuss it with my friends! I ended it last night! I’m heartbroken! I will go no contact, I have the strength and willpower! I’m just so so so sad! I made him promise not to contact me as he isn’t ready to be in a relationship with me! I just feel pathetically sorry for myself right now! Link to post Share on other sites
psustu Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 I too fell head over heels for a woman who was not totally available. She was 8 years older then me I am 43. She I was just out of a nasty divorce, and she is/was gorgeous. She came on too me and pushed things, but there were signs that she would never fully commit.. The.more she didn't, the more insecure and jealous I became.. Till I really messed things up.. anyway I am 1 day no contact and it kills me.. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Good decision to end it. Clearly this guy was happily having his cake and eating it so why would he change anything! The important thing is to learn from your mistakes. You mention red flags. Next time remember that a red flag means STOP! Do not pass go, do not collect £200. When you see a red flag don't ignore it, especially if there are multiple of them. It's a hard lesson to learn and most people learn it the hard way so don't feel bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrsXXX Posted June 13, 2018 Author Share Posted June 13, 2018 I too fell head over heels for a woman who was not totally available. She was 8 years older then me I am 43. She I was just out of a nasty divorce, and she is/was gorgeous. She came on too me and pushed things, but there were signs that she would never fully commit.. The.more she didn't, the more insecure and jealous I became.. Till I really messed things up.. anyway I am 1 day no contact and it kills me.. Good luck Thanks for your reply! Sounds like your in a rubbish spot like me! I’m day one of no contact too! It’s horribe but the only bit of choice and power we have I guess cx Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrsXXX Posted June 13, 2018 Author Share Posted June 13, 2018 Good decision to end it. Clearly this guy was happily having his cake and eating it so why would he change anything! The important thing is to learn from your mistakes. You mention red flags. Next time remember that a red flag means STOP! Do not pass go, do not collect £200. When you see a red flag don't ignore it, especially if there are multiple of them. It's a hard lesson to learn and most people learn it the hard way so don't feel bad. I totally get what you are saying about the red flags! I just got swept up! And I fell in love. I can see now I’m in love with the idea of him and not the reality! I guess I just need to mourn my loss and get over it xxx Link to post Share on other sites
capsicumspray Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 The worst part is no matter how bad and toxic everything else is, that special feeling of love is addictive and intoxicatingly beautiful. You clearly deserve better. I know some people here tell you to beware of the red flags going forward, but the caveat is that you can't help or predict falling in love. It feelings suck now, but it'll get better and I hope you keep your heart open because the next guy who holds it will be the luckiest guy in the world! Stay Strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrsXXX Posted June 14, 2018 Author Share Posted June 14, 2018 The worst part is no matter how bad and toxic everything else is, that special feeling of love is addictive and intoxicatingly beautiful. You clearly deserve better. I know some people here tell you to beware of the red flags going forward, but the caveat is that you can't help or predict falling in love. It feelings suck now, but it'll get better and I hope you keep your heart open because the next guy who holds it will be the luckiest guy in the world! Stay Strong! Thank you! This made me smile for the first time today xxx Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 Powerful journal note. I hear you ... deep feelings sometimes emerge even when we think we have the brakes on ... Link to post Share on other sites
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