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Letter I wrote


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First, I would like to say that this letter may be familiar as it is one posted by another user. I read the posts, but please do not bring them up. I got 4 pages in and felt sick. No, she is not a bad person and she actually treats me with the utmost respect in-person. I was infatuated and I wrote this letter with my brain cells shooting in a million different directions. This post is to be purely about my letter. So, please read this whole thing before commenting. I know it is long and WAY OVER THE TOP AND OBSESSIVE. However, I want you to read this without knowing my intention. Does this strike you as a love confession, a rejection, a goodbye, or something else? I ask because some people say my letter may have conveyed the opposite of what I intended, so please tell me what you think my objective was in writing this. I just want to know what you would think I was trying to achieve with this letter if I wrote it to you. Other than me being psychotic, what would be your impression. For the record, this was given in an envelope with origami and maybe a proper scent of mine. I told her that morning that I had feelings for her. So please read this as if you were receiving this from your crush.

 

So here it is. Get some coffee, it is a long one. Oh...but if any of my lines were good, please let me know :)

 

 

Dear Ms. L,

 

It has been an honor to work with you over this past semester and to be a classmate with you over the past year. To be honest, my graduation is bittersweet as I will see less of you as our academic paths divert. When you first arrived with your cohort last year, my initial thought was "This woman is so professional, but maybe too professional." Spending time with you in our film class over last summer, I thought "Wow, she is such a sweet, gentle, and special person." After getting to know you over the course of this semester, I have realized what kind of person you are. I have a lot of heroes, but I honestly think you are the one that has influenced me the most as a peer, Superwoman. You are my hero because of how you are able to work as hard as you do, meet group demands, and still manage to show up to class the next day with a smile on your face. My most captivating memory of you that imprinted yourself upon my heart was during a routine team meeting for our internship program. You came in to class that morning and you sounded like you had a sore throat and a serious cold. During that entire class and meeting, you did not utter a single complaint and you recorded our meeting minutes despite the discomfort you may have had. Soon after, I read your biography and I felt captivated by the person that you are. It was apparent that you were someone that lived for others with a strong servant's heart, that you were a caring soul, that you were humble, and that you were a motivator. About a month later, you had another cold and you further confirmed some thoughts I had about you. Again, you did not complain, you kept meeting minutes, made an agenda, and tried your best to sit through two classes. I swear, I wanted to hug you, take you to your house, and get you whatever you needed while you rested, but the remarkable thing about you is how self-reliant and tough you are. I have seen you faced with stressful situation, but I have never seen you falter. It is said that pressure can turn coal into diamonds, but I never saw pressure turn you into dust. As I texted to you that day:

 

"It is the days like today that confirm why I think so highly of you. Despite being sick, you worked on a project, attended class, made an agenda, and kept minutes. You are an awesome person."

 

Now, why did I feel compelled to write this? As you know, I am not a person of many words. You are like an iceberg because the person that I had the privilege of working alongside was undoubtedly only a small chunk of who you really are. You are like an unfinished book because the chapters I have seen are impressive, but what comes next will surely be more impressive. You are the type of person that books are written about, that movie scripts headline with a star actress, and that ultimately make a difference in world while inspiring others. I was one of those people that you inspired. As you and I once talked about, the blank canvas of your life is starting to look like a work of art comparable to Michelangelo's work in the Sistine Chapel. That smile and cheerful attitude of yours made every day of class worthwhile and always made my entire day feel special. I always wanted to help you in any way I could despite my limited skillset. I would be holding back if I did not mention your beauty. While your soul is beautiful, so is your appearance. I have honestly never seen someone make glasses look so pretty while maintaining a grace comparable to Kate Middleton. Your smile could radiate through a cement wall and bring warmth and joy to everyone in range. In my imagination, I also assume that you would look beautiful in a ballroom gown with your undying elegance. In any case, I felt that I needed to put these feelings to paper in order to share these emotions. There were times, too many to count, during this semester where I felt like the luckiest person in the world to be in a group with you. On a few occasions, you asked me to proofread some of your work and I felt honored that someone as smart as you would ask a lowly person like me to suggest corrections to your work, but I also would be lying if I did not think that you were trying to show off marginally. At times, you would seem to act insecure about your writing, but in my opinion, your insecurity seemed like it was a byproduct of your modesty because of how much effort you put into your writing. I felt even more honored to sit by you and be able to experience your fantastic personality up close. Whether it was your morning cheerfulness or you doing something as caring as washing the dishes after a classmate's study session at his home, you never ceased to amaze me. Additionally, I was puzzled as to why such a nice and charismatic individual would even want to sit right next to me which is what happened at the beginning of our last semester. Whether it was in our marketing class, talking about dieting, or talking about films, I enjoyed every moment with you as a classmate despite the appearance of my suppressed emotional state. Trust me, I was grinning on the inside and it made every long and tiring morning worthwhile. At other times, I felt that I may have been an intrusive presence. Honestly, there were times that I felt guilty and that I may have inadvertently alienated such a good person. Personally, I always wanted to compliment you, but I felt that those comments sometimes came out as odd, creepy, or misplaced. At times, I felt like my attempted compliments may have made you uncomfortable because I felt like there were days in which you were afraid of me or would hope that I disappeared. If I ever did make you uncomfortable, I apologize. You taught me a lot about faith in God and guiding our paths in your own beautiful words. After all, I guess it might have been God's way by guiding me into this business program in order for me to meet someone like you. I mean, what are the odds that someone who grew up with a near genius IQ would be in class with this average guy just finishing school as a stepping stone towards pursuing future passions? The odds were stacked against me experiencing such an event whether I realized it or not.

 

I tried my best to hold in my emotions, but I feel that ultimately failed in the end. Why? I failed because of your true candor and generosity. Some messages we have exchanged over Google Hangouts are permanently engraved into my mind. You never tried to take credit and you would often thank God for successes in your life. However, we both know hard you have worked and fought to become the person that you are. As a result, my soul itself would be conflicted and I would find myself dumbstruck by your beautiful words. These emotions would consume me and I would think for hours about your words even if you wrote only few short sentences. Whenever I had the chance, I wanted to make sure that I voiced my opinions of you. You are a truly amazing woman. There were times when I wanted to ask you out on a date, but I ultimately felt that such words would be distracting between our group project and your internship, so I did not wish levy that burden on you. Not only that, if you did not harbor the best emotions towards me, I did not want to generate that discomfort. I even thought that uttering such a query would inappropriate because you are something much larger than that to me because of everything I have learned about you. As a kid, I had many heroes, but I see you as one of mine as a peer. There is a verse from poem that can summarize some of my feelings about this:

You can fool the whole world down the highway of years and take pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartbreak and tears if you cheated the man in the glass.

 

When I read that poem, I used to think of myself as the man looking into the glass and seeing disappointment, but after talking with you on a few occasions I felt as if I would peer into that mirror one day and see what I wanted. You have told me some things that I never thought I would ever hear another individual utter in my direction. Your kindness as a female managed melt the ice around my heart and exposed cracks in my armor as that facade of the emotionless person I would try to portray slowly withered away. Whether you were just being nice, you had kind thoughts towards me, or you thought me as anything else, you made me look deep into myself and try to define who I am, but I think my definition may still not be known.

 

I want to acknowledge how I will view you in the future. Your future is as bright as a thousand suns. Whether your yellow-brick road takes you through the military or to parts unknown, I hope to see how that path pans out. I hope you do not forget about the little people like me as your path will undoubtedly bring about hundreds of new faces, but I can say for sure that I will NEVER forget you. Whether I am looking down on your beautiful path while nestled high above, or I am working side-by-side with you on the ground, if you call upon me, I will be there for you if needed. As a friend, as an Excel guru, as a workout buddy or running buddy, as a proofreader, as anything, as a person to call to make the boredom of slow traffic pass by, you can count on my assistance because it is the least I can do after the wonderful memories you have given me over this last year in our program. As for myself, you already know about where I hope to start my path, but I still think of the lingering question that you gave me on that Friday in March "Where do you see yourself eventually?" I want to pursue my dream that we discussed, but I don't know and as for the people that I hope to share that future life with, I do not know where that path will lead either, but I do know that I would not mind having someone close to share my passion with, whether it's a child on my knee, or someone who just wants to travel with me exploring every facet of this beautiful country. I am not one to comment on love as I would not know it, but I will say that you have shaped my expectations. You are truly one in a million and if you do not realize that now, then you will realize that in hundreds of faces that you encounter as they gaze upon you in the future. On that note you also mentioned on that Friday morning "Hopefully our paths cross again." I hope for that as well. In fact, as a our favorite singer once sang:

 

"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high

There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue

And the dreams that you dare to dream,

Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops,

High above the chimney tops,

That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow

Why, oh why can't I?"

 

I hope that I may see you at the other end of that rainbow one day if our paths diverge from here because my future memories will include a lot of looking back at the time I spent with you. I cannot help, but admit that there were so many times during this last semester where thoughts of you raced through my mind. In fact, I admit that I may have held a crush on you, still have one and probably always will, but I thought making that known to you would have negatively impacted our group project. In fact, I would be lying if I said that I did not fantasize and possibly still fantasize about us going out, developing a relationship, embracing each other on the day of graduation, and possibly being together. In fact, part of me will always hope that if you were to be single, that I could be there on your wing. In fact, as a side note, some people always thought there was something marginally romantic between us during the Chinese film class and they would mention it to me frequently, but I would keep this thought in the back of my mind "If only I could be so lucky." I remember another time in Project Management where I missed a question and you briefly put your hand on top of mine and said "It's alright." However, I noticed in the past months as a change in the attitude between us. At first, I thought you were mad at me as there were days that seemed as if you wanted to ignore me. On other days, it seemed like I had upset you, but you would still sit in proximity to me despite the silence. Then, I noticed some things as we had a beautiful talk on our final full session of our leadership class. I remember talking about future dreams and passion, I remember you and I both finding love in "Over the Rainbow" , but also I remember when we saw eye-to-eye on pursuing our passions rather than letting them pass by. First, you were sharing your dreams passionately; you still thought that I was being too nice with my comments, and that you want comfort in life. Second, your body language gave an interesting story as I could tell you were engaged in the conversation, you were attentive, you were blushing at times, and that you had somehow become a little more nervous or shy around me. I do not know whether your nervousness was the result of discomfort, uncertainty, or the possibility of feelings towards me, but it followed a pattern of your quick glances, sharp dressing, and even times of disbelief. If by some small chance you were nervous because of a crush on me, I am flattered and in which case, if I have not already told you in person, I would and will always welcome your feelings with open arms as you did with so many of mine. I want to assure you that you never need to be nervous as long as you speak the truth and you should never worry about what others think of you. In fact, I remember that the following Tuesday, I offered to help you finish a project for class. I did not originally anticipate spending too much time on that project, but something felt right about being there with you, so I stayed and I enjoyed every minute of it. You seemed stressed that day and I finally overcame my fears and put my arm around your shoulder to reassure you and the slight grin that I caught in the corner of your mouth sent me home a happy person. On the day of our presentation, we shared another hug and for me, it felt as if I had finally experienced something I had long missed out on when I finally got to put my arms around you and see you happy and relaxed. You are a great person to know and an even greater person to understand. I have heard you say that you have felt insecure about things like your car, independence and finance, and even about how chaotic your work- life balance is. None of those items define you, if someone is as shallow as to look past your accomplishments and your work ethic just to judge you on material possessions, then that person is a fool. We all start from somewhere, we all have insecurities, and the ways that we overcome those insecurities are what will ultimately define us. Hopefully, whether you have a boyfriend or not when you read this, I hope that he can adequately describe to you in person what I am putting on paper when I describe the hope and cheer that you have engraved into my memories. Unfortunately, I can only summarize my reflection of those great memories and emotions of you with some lyrics from a Faith Hill song:

 

"When I think back on these times

And the dreams we left behind

I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life

When I look back on these days

I'll look and see your face

You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soaring by the sky

In my heart there'll always be a place for you

For all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me

And everywhere I am there you'll be

Well you showed me how it feels

To feel the sky within my reach

And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me."

 

Well, now that you have made it this far, then you have endured my saturated memories, comparisons to heroes who may normally go unnoticed, corny compliments, and awkward music references. For that, I congratulate you. Now, I will conclude with some final thoughts. Yes, I have not used the word "love" for a multitude of reasons, especially if you do not harbor any such feeling towards me. However, I do want to say that I "love" things about you from your smile, attitude, candor, perseverance, selflessness, work ethic, and leadership. If all women could be like you, the world would almost be perfect. Above all though, you are my hero. Out of every emotion I could mention, the strongest emotion I have for you is respect. You have inspired me in ways that I cannot explain despite my most fervent attempts. In fact, I think you could say this entire essay played more like a gushy fan letter, but I hope you see it for what I intended it to be, a thank you letter. I have no regrets in writing this except for the fact of how long it would take for me to tell you this in person and the fact that I may never understand your honest thoughts or opinions of me as a person. Not knowing your thoughts of me will probably be the one mystery I will have to endure. I would rather write this and fail to get my full point across rather than miss the moment due to the fear of failure. Personally, I do regret not being able to know you earlier because it feels like I missed out on part of a very unique story. I wish you the best of luck towards your future endeavors. I hope that you seize the moment every time opportunity knocks for you.I swear, this is my final quote from another hero of mine because it encouraged my write this:

 

"Rule number one, life is short and it is uncertain. It’s not one or the other, it is both and because it is, then you cannot possibly miss the gift that each day is. Rule number two, pursue your passion now, do it now, do the thing you love whether it is family, work, job, hobby, or whatever it is because of rule number one."

 

Enjoy your final semester as the gateway to your glorious future lies directly ahead. Do not miss the moment. I am always available to help you with anything if it is needed. I live right across the freeway, so if you ever need help on anything, feedback, suggestions, pool access, or a person to share or watch movies with, it is no inconvenience for me at all because of how much I owe you and because how much I enjoy your company. Every moment with you has made feel as if I am getting closer to becoming the person I want to be one day. Hopefully, we can keep in touch. I will leave my contact information if you want to keep in touch. Rock on, Superwoman! All I ask is for the permission to continue regular correspondence with you because of your great value to me as a friend and more. Hopefully, we can talk sometime soon, go for a run, grab some tea, see a movie, or just hang out. As a friend, I would definitely like to show you around some of the great places around here that you may have not visited yet. As anything more to you, I will not let you down if called upon. Thank you for everything! If you notice a little spot on the envelope, I am sealing this envelope with a tear because I feel that tears are the only way to signify gratitude towards another person after one journey ends and another begins, but believe me, these tears that I shed as I think about my time with you are tears of pure joy.

 

With "love", admiration, respect, and prayers,

 

Your group member, your Excel guru, your occasional proofreader, your professional admirer, and maybe at the very least your long-time friend,

 

Acey2260

 

P.S. If you are ever nervous about your future, your path in life, or anything, keep your faith in God and believe in yourself. If you ever feel that no one believes in you, then look back on this letter and remember that at least one person in your academic career did believe in you and always will.

Edited by Acey2260
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You have her totally up on a pedestal... don't you? :laugh:

 

A simple email saying... Hey do you want to go out for coffee sometime... would have been much better than this long winded story.

 

If I receive such a letter from my team mate... I would probably laugh it off and ask him to take it easy. You come across as immature and way too much in awe of her and magnifying every little gesture of hers more than what they really are. You need a big jolt of reality and some good resources about women and dating. Don't send these kind of letters ever again. This is all your infatuation talking. Reality may be something different. I would NEVER date a guy who sends such letter... coz breaking up with him will mean letters and phone calls which would be 10000 times bigger and messier.

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You have her totally up on a pedestal... don't you? :laugh:

 

A simple email saying... Hey do you want to go out for coffee sometime... would have been much better than this long winded story.

 

If I receive such a letter from my team mate... I would probably laugh it off and ask him to take it easy. You come across as immature and way too much in awe of her and magnifying every little gesture of hers more than what they really are. You need a big jolt of reality and some good resources about women and dating. Don't send these kind of letters ever again. This is all your infatuation talking. Reality may be something different. I would NEVER date a guy who sends such letter... coz breaking up with him will mean letters and phone calls which would be 10000 times bigger and messier.

 

Yeah, I hear you on that. It was stupid on my part. I thought the going for a run or grabbing tea and a movie was a good way of breaking the ice there, but she would have to go to the final page of my novel to see it! Lol.

 

However, did you get the impression that I was saying goodbye or I was not looking for a relationship with her? Just curious.

Edited by Acey2260
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Scarlett.O'hara

Just to clarify, you have been obsessing about this letter under three different usernames, pretending to be the guy and the girl, right?

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/624405-i-thought-my-crush-showed-interest-i-screwed-up

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/657179-guy-friend-wrote-me-letter-i-am

 

I don't want to call someone out if they need support or advice, but blatantly lying to people by pretending to be two people is misleading and unfair on the people taking the time to reply.

 

From what I have read through all your posts, this all happened in May last year, which suggests this might be becoming an unhealthy obsession that you can't let go of? If that is the case, it might require more support than a forum can provide.

 

In answer to your question, yes, the letter does read as a bit over the top and excessive, but it was also clearly heartfelt. Personally, I would take at as a declaration of an idealized infatuation by someone who is very insecure and afraid of getting hurt. The overall impression was that regardless of what happens in the future, he will always think highly of the girl and wish her well.

 

If you are the guy who wrote the letter (and not the girl), I would strongly advise you to find a way to let this go. It has been over a year now. There was obviously a lot of pent up emotion and feeling that needed to be expressed at the time, regardless of whether the girl reciprocated.

 

She made the decision to shut it down, knowing that it would be too problematic in the long run to remain friends, especially when she meets a guy she sees a future with. As much as that hurt to hear, I think it was the right thing for her to do under the circumstances.

 

I do sympathize with how you are feeling, but I am also concerned for your well-being if you are unable or unwilling to let this go. Perhaps it is time to consider professional help from a counselor to help you work through this?

 

You deserve to find some peace and let go of the past. There is so much more happiness in your future, when you open yourself up to it.

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Just to clarify, you have been obsessing about this letter under three different usernames, pretending to be the guy and the girl, right?

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/624405-i-thought-my-crush-showed-interest-i-screwed-up

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/657179-guy-friend-wrote-me-letter-i-am

 

I don't want to call someone out if they need support or advice, but blatantly lying to people by pretending to be two people is misleading and unfair on the people taking the time to reply.

 

From what I have read through all your posts, this all happened in May last year, which suggests this might be becoming an unhealthy obsession that you can't let go of? If that is the case, it might require more support than a forum can provide.

 

In answer to your question, yes, the letter does read as a bit over the top and excessive, but it was also clearly heartfelt. Personally, I would take at as a declaration of an idealized infatuation by someone who is very insecure and afraid of getting hurt. The overall impression was that regardless of what happens in the future, he will always think highly of the girl and wish her well.

 

If you are the guy who wrote the letter (and not the girl), I would strongly advise you to find a way to let this go. It has been over a year now. There was obviously a lot of pent up emotion and feeling that needed to be expressed at the time, regardless of whether the girl reciprocated.

 

She made the decision to shut it down, knowing that it would be too problematic in the long run to remain friends, especially when she meets a guy she sees a future with. As much as that hurt to hear, I think it was the right thing for her to do under the circumstances.

 

I do sympathize with how you are feeling, but I am also concerned for your well-being if you are unable or unwilling to let this go. Perhaps it is time to consider professional help from a counselor to help you work through this?

 

You deserve to find some peace and let go of the past. There is so much more happiness in your future, when you open yourself up to it.

 

Scarlett, I was the JJ, but that account is gone because I trashed that email last year to move on, but rather unsuccessfully. The other account, I think is her or someone close. That is the reason I am back with this account. Yes, I moved on a little, but I wanted closure. I know she is the other account because of some of the stuff I read. I was informed by a friend that she published parts of what I wrote. The killer is that part of the reason she said that she would not talk to me, according to a friend, is that I rejected her. I wish she said she was not into me that way or something, but it was treated like I rejected her. That is why I am here with this. Does this sound like a rejection? I am back because of guilt. I have ran into mutual friends and I was told that I should not have done that to her, but I do not know what "that" is. The last piece of communication was me saying good luck.

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Clearly your relationship with her is complicated. If you like her, talk to her. If she is still talking to you, thank your lucky stars.

Edited by d0nnivain
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Just to clarify, you have been obsessing about this letter under three different usernames, pretending to be the guy and the girl, right?

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/624405-i-thought-my-crush-showed-interest-i-screwed-up

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/657179-guy-friend-wrote-me-letter-i-am

 

I don't want to call someone out if they need support or advice, but blatantly lying to people by pretending to be two people is misleading and unfair on the people taking the time to reply.

 

From what I have read through all your posts, this all happened in May last year, which suggests this might be becoming an unhealthy obsession that you can't let go of? If that is the case, it might require more support than a forum can provide.

 

In answer to your question, yes, the letter does read as a bit over the top and excessive, but it was also clearly heartfelt. Personally, I would take at as a declaration of an idealized infatuation by someone who is very insecure and afraid of getting hurt. The overall impression was that regardless of what happens in the future, he will always think highly of the girl and wish her well.

 

If you are the guy who wrote the letter (and not the girl), I would strongly advise you to find a way to let this go. It has been over a year now. There was obviously a lot of pent up emotion and feeling that needed to be expressed at the time, regardless of whether the girl reciprocated.

 

She made the decision to shut it down, knowing that it would be too problematic in the long run to remain friends, especially when she meets a guy she sees a future with. As much as that hurt to hear, I think it was the right thing for her to do under the circumstances.

 

I do sympathize with how you are feeling, but I am also concerned for your well-being if you are unable or unwilling to let this go. Perhaps it is time to consider professional help from a counselor to help you work through this?

 

You deserve to find some peace and let go of the past. There is so much more happiness in your future, when you open yourself up to it.

 

Sorry I wanted to add some stuff.

 

First, thank you. I have been waiting over a year for someone to give it to me straight. I will not publish what she sent me, but let is just say it was vague and it took me three times tonfigure out if it was a rejection, but I took it as such. As long as it was known that I was head over heels and wanted a relationship, then that is all I need.

 

Her decision to shut it down is cool with me literally if it was her choice. If the feelings were not there, then I cannot change that. I just hope she did not think I was shutting it down. That is all I am saying. The posts from the other account puzzle me because it sounds like I prioritized other things. What helped me move on for a bit was saying that I threw nothing away. However, hearing that I was instigating the end does not sound true. She wrote nice things, but it seemed like there was anger at me for not playing along with some stuff.

 

Do you understand where I am coming from? I asked her if my letter was a problem and I understood if she was uncomfortable and if it was to let me know so I never write something like that to her or anyone again. All I was told was that she appreciated the candidness.

 

A week before this, she was asking the names of our future children, where we were going to live, and retire. The thing that keeps me glued was her saying that we will be together forever. I did not think a letter would change that unless I said I was dumping her or something. If she was just being flirty, well, I guess that is cool, but a little misleading.

Edited by Acey2260
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You have her totally up on a pedestal... don't you? :laugh:

 

A simple email saying... Hey do you want to go out for coffee sometime... would have been much better than this long winded story.

 

If I receive such a letter from my team mate... I would probably laugh it off and ask him to take it easy. You come across as immature and way too much in awe of her and magnifying every little gesture of hers more than what they really are. You need a big jolt of reality and some good resources about women and dating. Don't send these kind of letters ever again. This is all your infatuation talking. Reality may be something different. I would NEVER date a guy who sends such letter... coz breaking up with him will mean letters and phone calls which would be 10000 times bigger and messier.

 

I know! How could she even see me from all the way up there!

 

It was dumb, I know. However, she made it seem like we were going to get married and I thought even a letter could not mess that up.

 

Good. So there is no way that she could interpret this as a goodbye letter, right?

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Oh my, so now we're hearing this from the man's perspective? I'll tell "you" what I told "her." Neither of you is a good communicator, and especially not with each other. You'd always struggle to understand the other person.

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If you like her, talk to her. If she is still talking to you, thank your lucky stars.

 

This is so true.

 

I must say, if someone sent me a letter like this, I would be tempted to file a restraining order. Way over the top is a bit of an understatement.

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Oh my, so now we're hearing this from the man's perspective? I'll tell "you" what I told "her." Neither of you is a good communicator, and especially not with each other. You'd always struggle to understand the other person.

 

Agreed. I thought I was direct when I told her that day "I do not know if you have a million boyfriends, but I want you to know that I have always had a crush on you." I used the letter to back it up.

 

I thought she was aloof at times. I wanted to ask her out and I asked her friends if she was single, but they said she was more focused on her career first.

 

Was it wrong for me to tell her how I feel, wait to see if she said anything in reply, and then asked her out? We were friends, so that is what complicated things and as her posts do not mention, our joint intern group was not allowed to date fellow interns.

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This is so true.

 

I must say, if someone sent me a letter like this, I would be tempted to file a restraining order. Way over the top is a bit of an understatement.

 

Understandable. Well, at least she would know I liked her.

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Understandable. Well, at least she would know I liked her.

 

Oh, she will know. I admire your courage in putting your feeling out there. It's not an easy thing to do.

 

I'm simply suggesting, for future reference, that less is more. Too much, too soon, makes things a little uncomfortable.

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Oh, she will know. I admire your courage in putting your feeling out there. It's not an easy thing to do.

 

I'm simply suggesting, for future reference, that less is more. Too much, too soon, makes things a little uncomfortable.

 

Haha. Too true! Thank you for your insight!

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I will say that as long as she knew that my goal was a relationship and that was not how she felt, then I'm cool. I thought I was pretty direct in the mountain of text:

 

 

I cannot help, but admit that there were so many times during this last semester where thoughts of you raced through my mind. In fact, I admit that I may have held a crush on you, still have one and probably always will, but I thought making that known to you would have negatively impacted our group project. In fact, I would be lying if I said that I did not fantasize and possibly still fantasize about us going out, developing a relationship, embracing each other on the day of graduation, and possibly being together. In fact, part of me will always hope that if you were to be single, that I could be there on your wing. In fact, as a side note, some people always thought there was something marginally romantic between us during the Chinese film class and they would mention it to me frequently, but I would keep this thought in the back of my mind "If only I could be so lucky."

 

As I said, I was uncertain. I thought she had a flirty personality. I told her that I did not think she liked me that way because she felt up another guy right in front of me, told him he would make an amazing father, and they called each other baby. To me, that is not hard to get, that is rejection towards me.

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I must say, if someone sent me a letter like this, I would be tempted to file a restraining order.

 

My initial reaction to this letter was very negative. It reminded me of something an out of control stalker fan would send to a famous person because they (the stalker) were convinced that the famous person was in a relationship with them. It read like you taking these benign trivial interactions -- her touching your hand in class, her smiling, her washing dishes -- & blowing them totally out of proportion. You read about stuff like this right after the stalker fan tries to harm or kill the object of their affection. It was a really troubling letter.

 

Understandable. Well, at least she would know I liked her.

 

 

I'm not kidding. The vibe I got off this letter was that you were obsessed with her & that if she rejected you, you have real potential to become dangerous.

 

 

I genuinely hope I'm misreading it & that you are just a sort of clueless guy who is a bit awkward & that your feelings are kind, gentle & rational but you simply need a bit of polish.

 

 

Going forward in your life, don't write letters like this. You are better off talking not writing but if you must write, be brief. After you get to know somebody, you can wax poetic or even write the long love letter but not before. Do work on your editing.

 

 

This letter would have been better if it read more like something as follows:

 

 

Dear ____:

 

 

As the school year draws to a close & I approach graduation I realize that I may never see you again,
so
I am compelled to speak up. Being a bit shy & introverted, I resorted to letter writing.

 

 

I think you are admirable for
so
many reasons, your courage, your tenacity, your empathy, your intelligence just to name a few. Although we became friendly in class, I would like to get to know you better.

 

 

Would you please meet me for coffee or even just to take a walk
so
we can see if there is anything worth pursing? You are somebody I'd like to keep in my life.

 

 

Fondly & Hopefully, Acey2260

 

I say the same things you do only in a much shorter, more concise & way less creepy manner.

 

Best wishes

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My initial reaction to this letter was very negative. It reminded me of something an out of control stalker fan would send to a famous person because they (the stalker) were convinced that the famous person was in a relationship with them. It read like you taking these benign trivial interactions -- her touching your hand in class, her smiling, her washing dishes -- & blowing them totally out of proportion. You read about stuff like this right after the stalker fan tries to harm or kill the object of their affection. It was a really troubling letter.

 

 

 

 

I'm not kidding. The vibe I got off this letter was that you were obsessed with her & that if she rejected you, you have real potential to become dangerous.

 

 

I genuinely hope I'm misreading it & that you are just a sort of clueless guy who is a bit awkward & that your feelings are kind, gentle & rational but you simply need a bit of polish.

 

 

Going forward in your life, don't write letters like this. You are better off talking not writing but if you must write, be brief. After you get to know somebody, you can wax poetic or even write the long love letter but not before. Do work on your editing.

 

 

This letter would have been better if it read more like something as follows:

 

 

Dear ____:

 

 

As the school year draws to a close & I approach graduation I realize that I may never see you again,
so
I am compelled to speak up. Being a bit shy & introverted, I resorted to letter writing.

 

 

I think you are admirable for
so
many reasons, your courage, your tenacity, your empathy, your intelligence just to name a few. Although we became friendly in class, I would like to get to know you better.

 

 

Would you please meet me for coffee or even just to take a walk
so
we can see if there is anything worth pursing? You are somebody I'd like to keep in my life.

 

 

Fondly & Hopefully, Acey2260

 

I say the same things you do only in a much shorter, more concise & way less creepy manner.

 

Best wishes

 

THANK YOU!!! That is the raw response I wanted! Phew!

 

I am so sorry for the letter, but it was true. It was nuts! Psychotic! I hate when people are too nice, but will not tell me the truth! But that, thank you! I will admit, a lot of it was not.even genuine but stuff I copied from movies. I added stuff just to show her I was serious. The stupid letter was originally less than a page long and only a paragraph or two.

 

You do not believe the junk I was believing in. I was reading about soul mate connections, but luckily I caught myself before falling into that stuff. Oh, thank goodness.

 

Yeah, I am very introverted and I write a lot. I can crank out quite a bit of writing in an hour and it is strange. I wrote it because she told me that she liked a love letter I wrote for a project in high school and she said she wished someone would write her one like that. Stupid me decided to write this. Yes, my editing does need work as well. I will not lie about that. You know what is crazy? Stupid me did not think the length was excessive, but apparently part me was thinking "Hey, you cannot say I love you yet, it is too early." I should have just said "I love tou" because it would have been shorter, easier to reject, and quicker for me to move on.

 

Yeah, I am also very naive. She mentioned honeymoons, apartments and so on. I forgot to mention that she heard about me joining an organization and she called to join the following week.

 

Despite all of this, I did feel it was too good to be true. Yet, I wrote this anyway. I sat with it for a good hour and thought about ripping it up, but she got mad at me and I gave it to her. Bad impulse. Even after she read it, she was all over me and would not stop touching me. I felt like a creep and moved away, but she followed me around. That is why I am so confused. My first impulse was that I am a creep, but then people said I hurt her feelings, so yeah, I was lost.

 

Scared the living daylights out of her? Yeah. Hurt her feelings? What more would she want? A ring?

 

As long as it was, at least I did not go on to say I was going to marry her. Phew! That would have really set off alarms, not that this did not already do that.

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You posted this acting as a female? Think it’s time for therapy..

 

No. I posted about this a year ago under a different username because I trashed that email since.

 

The other account is her or a friend of hers. I am posting my end of things. Let's just say her post did not have things that mine had. I posted the complete letter with a only a few minor things left out. Hers left out a lot. A friend of mine said my letter was posted. So, I am posting my copy. And my letter to her was not handwritten. It was typed and I did not put a job first as she said.

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Oh boy. That's quite the letter you've provided. I have a few observations, some of which you may have already come to realize on your own. I'll go over three main issues for you: length, content and tone. I hope I can provide an outsider perspective on this, since without knowing you or the relationship fully I can only provide commentary on what you've provided, namely the letter itself.

 

Length

First and most obviously, length. You know this already because other users have said it; it's just way too long man. After a certain point the length starts to work against you, exponentially. Any positive emotions you elicit, or any nice lines that stick, are inevitably trapped and drowned among that ocean of words. The letter could have easily been at least 20 times shorter and you would have been fine.

 

Content

This is very clearly a profession of love and/or infatuation. You should have been more clear stating those intentions however, especially since ironically, considering the length of the letter, you don't. However you state a reason for this:

 

Now, I will conclude with some final thoughts. Yes, I have not used the word "love" for a multitude of reasons, especially if you do not harbor any such feeling towards me. However, I do want to say that I "love" things about you from your smile, attitude, candor, perseverance, selflessness, work ethic, and leadership.
So the reason you never said "I love you" is in case she doesn't love you back?

 

This is the main problem with the content here. Your letter is screaming that you love her, though you never explicitly say it. Not only that, but you remind her several times in the letter that you are unsure of her feelings towards you, but somehow try to make it appear like you are just interested in being friends with her but if she by chance wants to be more than friends you're obviously okay with that too. You aren't telling her what you want (at least not explicitly), instead you're trying to be what you think she wants. Just admit it to her, you think she's hot you want to be more than friends. If she says no then okay, at least you were straight up. Your letter is an example of how to beat around a bush for 4000 words.

 

It's quite obvious that you love her and are insecure that she doesn't feel the same way. If you're going to pour your heart out like this, why not go all the way with it? If it's hail Mary time anyways, what have you got to lose?

 

Tone

Well, it's too over the top. You've sent it along with an origami and sprayed with cologne. It almost feels like you should have included a cassette tape for her to listen to while reading. Your letter includes song lyrics (two!) and a poem, and a quote. Seems like you were hoping she would feel the emotional connection to the words in the same way that you do. Were you hoping she would play the song in her head while reading the lyrics? She likely saw the first couple lines, recognized the song as over the rainbow, and then skipped the rest of the lyrics. The attempt to coax her into feeling a certain way likely didn't work. Unfortunately any emotional cadence you had in mind while writing will never be recreated as you imagine by the reader.

 

What follow are some quotes I would like to mention, these ones displaying your low self-worth (at least when compared to her):

 

On a few occasions, you asked me to proofread some of your work and I felt honored that someone as smart as you would ask a lowly person like me to suggest corrections to your work
Additionally, I was puzzled as to why such a nice and charismatic individual would even want to sit right next to me
I mean, what are the odds that someone who grew up with a near genius IQ would be in class with this average guy just finishing school as a stepping stone towards pursuing future passions? The odds were stacked against me experiencing such an event whether I realized it or not.
I hope you do not forget about the little people like me as your path will undoubtedly bring about hundreds of new faces
Weak, bro. You are raising her up so high as to make yourself unworthy. Putting her up on a pedestal like this only shows her how little you value yourself. You even proclaim her heroic for coming to class while having a common cold. You should at the very least see yourself as equal to her, and that you have value to add to a possible relationship. Why are you trying to make her feel like she's too good for you? Because it just might work...

 

Here are a few special mentions, some lines that probably shouldn't ever be included in your future letters:

 

I have honestly never seen someone make glasses look so pretty while maintaining a grace comparable to Kate Middleton.
In my imagination, I also assume that you would look beautiful in a ballroom gown with your undying elegance.
You are the type of person that books are written about, that movie scripts headline with a star actress, and that ultimately make a difference in world while inspiring others.
...the blank canvas of your life is starting to look like a work of art comparable to Michelangelo's work in the Sistine Chapel.
I can only summarize my reflection of those great memories and emotions of you with some lyrics from a Faith Hill song

And my personal favorite:

 

Your smile could radiate through a cement wall and bring warmth and joy to everyone in range.
So yes, the letter is a disaster. But if you're feeling bad about it or some regrets, don't worry, in a matter of time you'll laugh about it, really. You might not think it's that funny, but this is all very humorous to those of us reading it because we've been there. We recognize and understand the place that this letter came from, so take it from us that this is a learning experience and it'll be really funny for you later.
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Oh boy. That's quite the letter you've provided. I have a few observations, some of which you may have already come to realize on your own. I'll go over three main issues for you: length, content and tone. I hope I can provide an outsider perspective on this, since without knowing you or the relationship fully I can only provide commentary on what you've provided, namely the letter itself.

 

Length

First and most obviously, length. You know this already because other users have said it; it's just way too long man. After a certain point the length starts to work against you, exponentially. Any positive emotions you elicit, or any nice lines that stick, are inevitably trapped and drowned among that ocean of words. The letter could have easily been at least 20 times shorter and you would have been fine.

 

Content

This is very clearly a profession of love and/or infatuation. You should have been more clear stating those intentions however, especially since ironically, considering the length of the letter, you don't. However you state a reason for this:

 

So the reason you never said "I love you" is in case she doesn't love you back?

 

This is the main problem with the content here. Your letter is screaming that you love her, though you never explicitly say it. Not only that, but you remind her several times in the letter that you are unsure of her feelings towards you, but somehow try to make it appear like you are just interested in being friends with her but if she by chance wants to be more than friends you're obviously okay with that too. You aren't telling her what you want (at least not explicitly), instead you're trying to be what you think she wants. Just admit it to her, you think she's hot you want to be more than friends. If she says no then okay, at least you were straight up. Your letter is an example of how to beat around a bush for 4000 words.

 

It's quite obvious that you love her and are insecure that she doesn't feel the same way. If you're going to pour your heart out like this, why not go all the way with it? If it's hail Mary time anyways, what have you got to lose?

 

Tone

Well, it's too over the top. You've sent it along with an origami and sprayed with cologne. It almost feels like you should have included a cassette tape for her to listen to while reading. Your letter includes song lyrics (two!) and a poem, and a quote. Seems like you were hoping she would feel the emotional connection to the words in the same way that you do. Were you hoping she would play the song in her head while reading the lyrics? She likely saw the first couple lines, recognized the song as over the rainbow, and then skipped the rest of the lyrics. The attempt to coax her into feeling a certain way likely didn't work. Unfortunately any emotional cadence you had in mind while writing will never be recreated as you imagine by the reader.

 

What follow are some quotes I would like to mention, these ones displaying your low self-worth (at least when compared to her):

 

Weak, bro. You are raising her up so high as to make yourself unworthy. Putting her up on a pedestal like this only shows her how little you value yourself. You even proclaim her heroic for coming to class while having a common cold. You should at the very least see yourself as equal to her, and that you have value to add to a possible relationship. Why are you trying to make her feel like she's too good for you? Because it just might work...

 

Here are a few special mentions, some lines that probably shouldn't ever be included in your future letters:

 

And my personal favorite:

 

So yes, the letter is a disaster. But if you're feeling bad about it or some regrets, don't worry, in a matter of time you'll laugh about it, really. You might not think it's that funny, but this is all very humorous to those of us reading it because we've been there. We recognize and understand the place that this letter came from, so take it from us that this is a learning experience and it'll be really funny for you later.

 

All very good points. Yeah...my lines were really bad. Literally, some of that stuff was based on shared experiences. She loved those songs and said they were "ours", so yeah. Some of the other stuff came up from texting back and forth. I will not lie, but she wrote me some stuff that was pretty...thick, but not like the disaster I wrote. She said I looked like Pierce Brosnan...yeah, that ain't right. Hopefully she put that letter in the dumpster. Not my best moment.

 

Even her rejection sounded better:

 

Dear _____,

 

I had a chance to read your letter over the weekend. You write with elegance and you expressed yourself like a true gentleman.

Before I share anything else, I would like to express sincere apologies for misleading you with my attitudes. You are an incredible person, smart, and respectable. Reading this letter and after knowing you, I am convinced that you will make an excellent partner for the person God has created you for. My intention was never to toy with your emotions, if I ever gave that impression, I am truly sorry.

 

One of my hopes is that God will use, even my failures, to bless those around me. To hear that our time together has encouraged you to pursue your dreams truly makes me smile. To hear that our time together has brought you closer to God, now that, brings tears of joy to my eyes. I know without a doubt that Jesus has been making an impression on you through me. He has given you a chance to see me through his eyes and undoubtedly speak to how he sees you. In other words I am not as fantastic as you think! I, like you and all of us, am a sinner unworthy of his love, but I am renewed and forgiven every day. I am only as beautiful as you see me because I wear the scarlet gown made from the blood of Christ.

That is good that God has encouraged you to pursue your dreams. There is nothing more incredible than a life of purpose. However, I challenge you to let your dreams go. Crazy, but yes! Set your dreams free and let Jesus guide your heart and I promise that you will not be disappointed and incredible things will happen in your life. It did in mine.

 

I thank God for being able to meet you. I pray that God will continue to mold you into the person he wants you to be and in His time, not yours, he introduces you to the one woman he has made for you. I also pray that you hear is knock on the door of your soul and, with joy, you let him in!

Thank you for sharing yourself. I am so excited for what God will accomplish in and through you.

Wishing you the best.

 

P.S. See you tonight!

 

Uhh...my utter hopelessness in romance. Haha. I do have to say, that was a fantastic critique from you! I will take that advice.

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Scarlett.O'hara

Sorry, but I don't believe for a moment that she wrote about this a year after the fact (using present tense), only to have you pop up a couple of days to tell your side, once “her” thread was closed.

 

All these patterns of threads under different usernames show someone who is still obsessed with what happened. Why do you keep tormenting yourself over something you cannot change? For your own sanity, you need to let it go. I am not saying this to be mean, but out of concern.

 

She may have liked the guy initially and been a bit flirty, but when it became too intense and uncomfortable, she cut him off and blocked him on social media. She was done at that point. No amount of questioning the letter or her response to it is going to change the fact. She is no longer interested. It happens.

 

This happened over a year ago. Like c.a.f said, take it as a learning experience. Next time, if you feel the need to write your feelings for someone down, delete or burn it afterwards, or at least keep the tone lighter, and not so intense.

 

Please try to let it go and move on.

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Sorry, but I don't believe for a moment that she wrote about this a year after the fact (using present tense), only to have you pop up a couple of days to tell your side, once “her” thread was closed.

 

All these patterns of threads under different usernames show someone who is still obsessed with what happened. Why do you keep tormenting yourself over something you cannot change? For your own sanity, you need to let it go. I am not saying this to be mean, but out of concern.

 

She may have liked the guy initially and been a bit flirty, but when it became too intense and uncomfortable, she cut him off and blocked him on social media. She was done at that point. No amount of questioning the letter or her response to it is going to change the fact. She is no longer interested. It happens.

 

This happened over a year ago. Like c.a.f said, take it as a learning experience. Next time, if you feel the need to write your feelings for someone down, delete or burn it afterwards, or at least keep the tone lighter, and not so intense.

 

Please try to let it go and move on.

 

I acknowledge that I need to let it go. As I said, I have guilt that I rejected her. If nothing could have saved it, then that is a relief. Out of my hands. Our friends said I rejected her and she supposedly hates me. I just wanted to see if my letter was a rejection to anyone. I know I cannot change her feelings. The channels of communications are closed. As for the blocking, I must confess, I initiated part of it so I would not snoop and I told her that before I did it.

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