JayHarris Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 (edited) I was dumped by a girl I dated 7 months. She threw out the friend card when we first ended and I said I'd like to if I can get past my romantic feelings. We talked the first couple of days after the breakup and it's now been about 2 weeks since NC. I've done a lot of heavy thinking and i'm starting to think we are a much better fit as friends. We have so many common interests and I never truly had the butterfly feeling when around her. It was like dating a good friend. I know most people on here say to stay in NC and move the heck on but I feel comfortable being her friend as the dumpee. Do you all think it's easier for the dumper to be friends? I don't have many friends in my area(new) and would like to have someone I can do fun things with or at least talk to even if there's 0 sexual activity. I'm thinking of texting her this weekend to start a friendly convo and can show to her I am past my romantic feelings. We didn't end on bad terms. I did the pathetic begging the first day of the breakup and then stopped. All of our convos the first few days after that were very nice and I never begged again. I know this is probably weird, but what do you all think? I am honestly surprised how over this I am already but I am someone that doesn't like cutting off people forever if they aren't toxic to me and are nice. I've lost so many great friends from college or other jobs and feel like there was just 0 effort by myself and them to stay in touch and that stuff eats at me. I'm at a point where I am sick of losing good people from my life. Do you think she's truly interested in friendship or is that something dumpers say to be nice after a breakup? 2 weeks without contacting me has me worried that she might want me out of her life forever or it could mean she's giving me space to heal. Thoughts or advice? Edited June 9, 2018 by JayHarris Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 There's nothing in it for you. Move on like she did. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Wait until she contacts you and shows interest in your life, not 'what's up?', and then see how you feel. That may be never. The thing about guys and gals being friends is the mutual interests thing. Men and women generally have markedly different interests, a cornerstone of platonic friendship. If she was really hot about your gun collection and enjoyed shooting with you, there ya go. example. In general, excepting where children are co-parented, it's generally healthier to accept the end of a romantic relationship and move on to other people in life. Sure some people can be and are friends with their ex'es. If you've had good luck with that in the past then your chances are stronger. I'd hang out with my guy friends and thoughts of ex'es and ex'es as friends will fade. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Wait until she contacts you and shows interest in your life, not 'what's up?', and then see how you feel. That may be never. This. And yes, OP, it's generally easier for the dumper to be friends with the dumpee than vice versa. The dumper wanted to end the relationship, indicating they were (generally) already emotionally detached to a large extent. Many dumpers also mindlessly offer friendship not out of genuine desire but as a way to soften the blow of a break-up. It's not likely she actually wants to keep hanging out. Remember that being friends might entail hearing about her love life when she starts dating again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Post break up friendship is not genuine friendship where you speak regularly & interact. It's more benign co-existence where you are polite when you see each other & don't cause drama. Link to post Share on other sites
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