jeremyjacobs Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 My gf (F29) and I (M27) have gone through a rocky patch lately and we decided to have some space. She's the one with the issue/unsure of whether to continue, but I suggested we take some time to think by not seeing eachother for a couple weeks. She agreed but said she'd still message me. Its been about 2 weeks and we're (supposedly) due to meet tomorrow. The problem is, rather than just keep quiet and not speak, she has been behaving very childishly.This period of space coincided with a recital that I had invited her to, which she knows is very important to me. We discussed this already and she said she thought it best not to come. She texted me to say good luck, and I told her she's still welcome to come along. She said she felt bad not supporting but that she still felt it best not to come due to things being uncertain between us. I told her not to feel bad, and agreed that it was best to stick to what we agreed on. She didn't reply. Two days later I checked in to see how she was doing. Before she responded, I got a notification saying she 'started following' me on instagram. When I looked, her account was switched back to private so I think she mut've blocked and unblocked me...she knows I saw it cos I readded her and she accepted. I thought this was pretty peurile but I didn't mention it. Later in the day I went on to FB and I saw that she had posted a status saying 'no ones ever come close'. No idea what that means...possibly something to do with an ex. Again, so childish that I didn't want to dignify it with a reaction, although I'm starting to lose patience. I left it a few more days, and checked in to say that I'd donated some money to a charity thing, and good luck, and that I'd see her maybe the following weekend (we didn't have our next meeting planned so I was keen to get the ball rolling on that, which is really why i texted her, charity thing just an ice breaker). She said it was 'up to me'(?) and that she was around this saturday if i wanted to meet. I said I would check and get back, which I did later in the day. She took two days to come back to me, saying 'sorry for being so bad at replying, shall we hang on saturday?', to which I responded, Yeah, I'll see you high street at 12. This was two days ago and I've heard nothing. Granted I didn't ask a question but am I just supposed to interpret her silence as a confirmation? I'm really beginning to tire of how she is dealing with this, especially considering how I've tried to accommodate her feelings of doubt, and be proactive about getting it back on track. Any advice on how to proceed? FYI I'm fully expecting to be broken up with tomorrow but at this point I'll be glad to be out of this stressful situation with an immature girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 She's acting childish and you're biting on it. Let her go. You don't need this drama in your life. Stop the game playing 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeremyjacobs Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 what d'you mean biting on it? Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 I believe she has been seeing someone else. Why else would she block you on instagram. Also, what was her status on FB before the break? To be honest show up and tell her good bye. Find someone more mature then she is. She isn’t ready for a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 what d'you mean biting on it? Responding Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Why did you two call this time-out to begin with? At the moment, she's not that bothered about patching things up. I think you need to be prepared to call it a day on this relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeremyjacobs Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 Responding Well no I haven't responded to or acknowledged any of it, just ignored it and carried on as if I hadn't seen it. Question is, do I go to meet her tomorrow or just bin it off? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeremyjacobs Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 Why did you two call this time-out to begin with? She's deeply, deeply insecure and she got very very mad when I referred to another girl as 'sexy'. At first I was very apologetic (despite thinking she was over-reacting), but she continued with the frostiness for almost 2 weeks. Honestly? I think its just attention seeking and drama cultivation, something that's v much in her nature. Not sure if she's 'seeing' someone else, but I think the status and the blocking is designed to make me think she is and bait me into blowing up. All really stupid stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Well no I haven't responded to or acknowledged any of it, just ignored it and carried on as if I hadn't seen it. Question is, do I go to meet her tomorrow or just bin it off? Why prolong the inevitable. Most can't make a decision to end it and will linger. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Why did you two call this time-out to begin with? She's deeply, deeply insecure and she got very very mad when I referred to another girl as 'sexy'. At first I was very apologetic (despite thinking she was over-reacting), but she continued with the frostiness for almost 2 weeks. Honestly? I think its just attention seeking and drama cultivation, something that's v much in her nature. Not sure if she's 'seeing' someone else, but I think the status and the blocking is designed to make me think she is and bait me into blowing up. All really stupid stuff. Why even try to revive this, in that case? Move on so you can find someone more mature. Immaturity at that level isn't conducive to a long-term, happy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Mac0908 Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 (edited) She's deeply, deeply insecure and she got very very mad when I referred to another girl as 'sexy'. At first I was very apologetic (despite thinking she was over-reacting), but she continued with the frostiness for almost 2 weeks. At 27 you're still kind of young so I'll give you some leeway there but in general this is a woman you need to cut ties with sooner than later. She has piece of work written all over her from what you described and you will only end up heartbroken and frustrated if you continue to stay in contact. I don't know the details of why this break REALLY happened but chances are you did something to turn her off. Good guys simply don't get "breaks" from girls. But I guess that's another story for another thread. Bottom line - it's not working out, and on top of that, as Marc alluded to, you're taking every bit of her bait instead of going cold after the obvious games she is playing with you. When a woman walks away, you walk away. When she plays attention seeking games, you don't give in, running to her any chance she gives you. You need to become scarce and valuable again. You don't do that by chasing and being there for them every single second. They subconsciously lose attraction. Trust me, I've been there many times before I finally got it. Fortunately you're on here so that's good and you can learn, but with regards to this chick, I don't see it going anywhere, not long term at least. I'd move on. Easier said than done, but trust me you'd be better off. Edited June 9, 2018 by Mac0908 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeremyjacobs Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 you're taking every bit of her bait instead of going cold after the obvious games she is playing with you. When a woman walks away, you walk away. When she plays attention seeking games, you don't give in, running to her any chance she gives you. Hardly think this is what I've done? I haven't given her any attention I just want to get it over with. I don't want to stay with her. I'm asking if I should just bin it off now or go and meet her tomorrow? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeremyjacobs Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 Why even try to revive this, in that case? Move on so you can find someone more mature. Immaturity at that level isn't conducive to a long-term, happy relationship. Dude, I don't want to revive it. I'm sick of it. I'm saying is it better to call her up now and say this is all ****ing stupid, or just carry on and go see her tomorrow as if I haven't seen it? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Dude, I don't want to revive it. I'm sick of it. I'm saying is it better to call her up now and say this is all ****ing stupid, or just carry on and go see her tomorrow as if I haven't seen it? Neither. Inform her that you won't be meeting her and that it's better that you both move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeremyjacobs Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 Neither. Inform her that you won't be meeting her and that it's better that you both move on. Hmmm, I know that seems like the badass thing to do in theory but at the end of the day I'm not a total sociopath and it would be ridiculous to leave the last 8 months like that...I do still care about this girl despite her silly behaviour... Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Do what your gut tells you, go, don't go, notify her, don't notify her. Just be prepared if you do go for things to not be great. Don't have any expectations, just curiosity. When I don't follow my own instincts I regret it later, wondering what would have happened if I had. What is your gut telling you, if you had to decide this very second, what jumps out to you? Follow that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeremyjacobs Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 In the end I just said I'll take a rain check on tomorrow. She got very very angry but i just said I wasn't prepared to reward her behaviour with my time. She called me and told me she was going to break up anyway. I told her I knew that and we could've done without the games. She burst in to tears asking why I wasn't more bothered that we were breaking up. i said I was bothered but I'd already had plenty of time to think about it, and I wasn't surprised/shocked. She then exclaimed that she's a 'terrible person' for pushing me away. I just said no you're not, don't worry about it, and that was that. Actually feel quite good about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts