laracode Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 (edited) I am 19y old, She's almost 18, we've been together for ~ 2.5 years. I am working as programmer, busy life, she prefers tourism, things like this... I love her (or i have deep feelings towards her) but in the long term i do not think we've good time together, she loves me & says everything is fine but i don't think so, i've similar doubts 9 months ago but i said "everything is in my head.." but the spark is not there, the desire to meet the other person, to share how the day went, to go somewhere and have a good time... I do not really want this... and last months she's found a company & she goes to tourism and has a perfect time, this made me a bit colder... she always goes with this company, but I am sure she's not cheating ... I tired to talk with this in the past but she said "when you don't come with me it's your problem" ... and i do not blame her, she gets what i can not offer :=) sad truth... 2 days ago i told her that we're too different and it can not be changed and told her i need some time to think about it ... when i meet her i can't tell her that we should break up, all the memories, the fact i won't see her this little girl, the fact i will hurt her, the fact that I can regret my decision and lose a wonderful person. All this made me avoid the brake-up, on the other hand... i am so tired of these doubts, i feel the lack of "something"in the relationship... are these feelings normal(this is not the first time these doubts come and ....)? (Because she does not want to end the relationship, she talked with my friends and said "she'd change the fact she didn't gave me enough attraction and stop hanging out with these tourists, but i do not think she should leave what's best for her in order to just "give me more attention" and just because i told her i have doubts, also they told me she was crying so much..." all these emotions initiate doubts in my mind) thank you.... to be honest i feel exhausted... Edited June 8, 2018 by laracode Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 You had a long run as young people in love but as they say "all good things must come to an end." You are going to have to be firm & consistent. Don't give her false hope but do be clear that it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laracode Posted June 8, 2018 Author Share Posted June 8, 2018 You had a long run as young people in love but as they say "all good things must come to an end." You are going to have to be firm & consistent. Don't give her false hope but do be clear that it's over. I am just trying to figure out if I have what i am searching for or we're just not meant for each other, but this gut feeling is getting stronger and i start realizing this, but when i remember that 1 word can make that long story end I get fcking emotional, I may sound like a girl, but yesterday I almost started crying when i was talking with her Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 You’re both WAY too young to be in a serious relationship. Honestly, if you have such a bad feeling about things, you’ll probably feel a lot of relief from not having to do the mental gymnastics that accompany this type of situation. If you don’t end it now, it’ll most likely fall apart on its own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laracode Posted June 10, 2018 Author Share Posted June 10, 2018 Just broke up with her, can not explain you how it feels... I can't stop crying... I did something, broke up with her and now i am the one who is crying... DAMN DAMN DAMN.... but in the end I take full responsibility on what I've done... the second i hugged her for the last time i started crying... never mind guys, thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 Something that was once precious to you came to an end. It's OK to cry over that loss. You crying does not mean you should have stayed together. It's also no fun to be the source of somebody else's pain. Hang in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 Ending things is VERY tough. You're feeling the finality of it. But you must've done it for some reason. Sometimes getting to where we want to be involves jumping over hurdles that are very hard to get past. You just jumped over the first one. Give it time and see how you feel. It takes awhile to move past this stuff. It's not fun nor entertaining in the least. In about 3 mos, you're going to be wanting to go back. We don't work through emotions overnight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laracode Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Well... most of the time I feel okay, because last months we didn't have much connection, but I miss her as a friend... maybe I haven't realized what I have just lost, maybe that's how it was supposed to be... maybe Link to post Share on other sites
Author laracode Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Guys, i know I should not be looking at these songs but just these lyrics describe everything perfectly Lost on you - Lewis Capaldi "Everyday I'm a slave to the heartache And you're wasting away every night I don't wanna leave you lonely But I've run out of love this time You know that I adore you Though I couldn't give enough Hope you'll be safe in the arms of another 'Cause I can't take the weight of your love" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 You are grieving a death. Its very emotional and very raw. But you were mature enough to realize there wasnt a future for both of you. If you hadnt broken up with her now, you would have later on. Its never easy, and speaks volumes about your character in how difficult this was for you. One day you will realize it was the best for both of you. Never easy to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laracode Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 I really hope one day i am 100% sure it was the best decision and have no emotions. I am trying to be focused 100% on my work and career for now, some freinds of mine tell me how hard is her situation now, she is crying always, etc... they say she was shocked by my decison. I do not know, when I do not think of her i am 100% fine, feel free, feel that i have time for myself and have no doubts and I am sure it was the right decision, but when i think of her.... things change.. Thank you for the support! Appreciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 You seem like a really good guy. I think you're just growing in different directions. I hope you meet someone you share some interests with down the road, and I bet you do. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laracode Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 Thanks, I appreciate it guys. You know what keeps me strong and motivated, the fact I will get a girlfriend someday that I can make her happy, love and know that she's the girl in my life, a girl that i can go somewhere for 7 days and love it, a girl that I want to make happy every second, and nah, I am not romantic at all, but I want such relationship, not yet, I know i am not ready, but someday ... Maybe it's unrealistic, maybe my unrealistic expectactions made me endup this relationship but :| who knows, but i will never know if i don't take actions, I was tired of always doubting everything so yeah Be happy! And use the pain as fuel .. even in such situation i am trying to find the benefits of such breakup Link to post Share on other sites
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