MindYourBusiness Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Hey, a few of you may know that I got dumbed in January after having an abortion. My ex left my while I was going through hell and at first I was just sad and felt broken. I have definitely moved on from that stage as I realized how much of a monster he actually is. However, every single day I feel so upset with him and myself. I question why I put up with a man like him for so long? How can I find peace and get rid of that anger I feel inside of me ? I feel so upset that I feel the urge to send him and even his family members long letters. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 write the letters get that anger out fo you/........write long letters.....then rip them up ...vent on here if you have too....i journal...and i let anger go it is really helpful for me...to let go of negativity by writing ...not only for pleasure but for peace........and breathe..its over cant be changed .......realize your l8ife is from right now...not yesterday ...and live your life with love in your heart ...for tomorrow and every day after.....you wont ever get a sorry so never expect it...forgive yourself...thats what you have to do ..........deb Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 No no no. No letters or contact with him or his family. Can you talk with friends and family? Do you have any hobbies or do you work out at all? I can tell you that playing sports and working out helped me a lot especially during the anger stage. Also, I wrote a lot of stuff out but never sent it. It felt good to write out what I was feeling, but you can never send it. The anger stage may come and go a few times. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 No no no. No letters or contact with him or his family. Can you talk with friends and family? Do you have any hobbies or do you work out at all? I can tell you that playing sports and working out helped me a lot especially during the anger stage. Also, I wrote a lot of stuff out but never sent it. It felt good to write out what I was feeling, but you can never send it. The anger stage may come and go a few times. too true anger subsides.....like a tide with writing.... i am so glad i have never said the words when i have written in anger......because anger if you look at it is just hurt feelings lashing out....and i dotn want to because i am hurt...hurt someone else .....so writing is a really good outlet..and when you do meet up again you might even manage to discuss what went wrong and see that it takes two to fight...i never stay angry long and thank god i didnt say the words and guiding me to a notebook or online journal instead....if i keep what i have written which sometimes i do ....i feel ashamed at my horrible words and see where most of the time i am partly to blame.......and thank god again...for loving me ...even when im angry....to not lash out....and hurt another...because ...i honestly ....dont want to hurt anyone....ever.....at the time though......i wanted to tie them to ceiling fans and hit rotate till they say sorry ...because they hurt me......i find it much easier to forgive without an apology ..... ...when the anger ......is out of me....and it doesnt take too long once i start writing..................deb.. Link to post Share on other sites
Young mind Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 This is a very tricky stage and a point where you can mess up and go completely wrong, acceptance of the emotions-anger is a great way to cope, even in the thick of it, reinforced belief that this is one of the stages of healing is important. It's very detrimental to send those letters because the purpose and the outcome are very different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MindYourBusiness Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 I am not trying to fix anything with this guy relationship wise. He turnt out to be a monster. This is more about me as I am still dealing with the loss of the baby. The last few days Ive felt really sad and guilty after I thought Im on the other side of this. Dealing with the aftermath of an abortion after being dumped in such a cruel way is so painful. I feel like I can't deal anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 I am not trying to fix anything with this guy relationship wise. He turnt out to be a monster. This is more about me as I am still dealing with the loss of the baby. The last few days Ive felt really sad and guilty after I thought Im on the other side of this. Dealing with the aftermath of an abortion after being dumped in such a cruel way is so painful. I feel like I can't deal anymore I was in a relationship that involved an abortion (as the guy) and it was difficult to get over. Fortunately I write songs and poems and writing a song about the child who lost its life in that situation helped. Your letters might not have an effect, but writing them did. I would encourage you to keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions. Writing is a powerful tool. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerW Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 I am not trying to fix anything with this guy relationship wise. He turnt out to be a monster. This is more about me as I am still dealing with the loss of the baby. The last few days Ive felt really sad and guilty after I thought Im on the other side of this. Dealing with the aftermath of an abortion after being dumped in such a cruel way is so painful. I feel like I can't deal anymore I am so sorry for your loss. I've known several women who have and abortions and they have told me that the regret and sadness are very real. What you are experiencing is normal and it may last a while. It certainly isn't easy, though. Is there anyone that you can talk to...a counselor or pastor? I know that in my town, the crisis pregnancy center (not the one that performs abortions) has someone who can help women who have been through what you've been through. Maybe you could check to see if there is something like that in your town. Link to post Share on other sites
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