Ivy9096 Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 My boyfriend broke up with me a week and half ago. Our relationship was very complicated. At the begging he was amazingly good, he gave me flowers, all his attention, he even took me to Paris for my birthday and bought me an expensive camera because I said I wanted to take photos. But then he started to being jealous even with no reason, I was afraid of getting notifications on my phone because I though he was going to think bad. Also when he was angry because of some fight, he turned super cold, I could be crying in front of him and still have zero compassion with me (when I cried he would say more hurtful things). He also admitted to be a liar even about stupid things and always blamed me about things he did. I still don’t know why I miss him so much and why I still hope him to call me. Our last talk was 3 days ago and he told me that if I needed help with anything I could tell him and also told me that right now he knows he is bad for me but maybe in the future when we will be more mature we could be together. He ended the conversation saying that I could contact him before some weeks or a month. I don’t know what to do, I feel depressed all the time and I will appreciate some advice. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 What you are feeling is normal. It's part of the grieving process. You lost something: the relationship. Rejection hurts. However, that is no reason to return to something that wasn't working. While it may have been lovely in the beginning, it turned bad. So leave it in the past For now, give yourself permission to cry & wallow a little while longer. . . say through the weekend. Then start purging him out of your life. Put away the mementos. If the camera upsets you, hide it from yourself. Take down the pictures etc. Spend some time with positive supportive people. Self soothe. Keep active. You will be OK once this acute stage passes. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 (edited) Our relationship was very complicated. No, it was a narcissistic relationship with you as the victim. If not, then at best it was a relationship with a very insecure man and you were still the victim. (1)he gave me flowers, (2)all his attention, (3)he even took me to Paris for my birthday (4)bought me an expensive camera Bribes for acceptance if we are dealing with simple insecurites. If it is Narcissism then it is the process of "setting you up". Narcissists are very very seductive in the beginning. But then he started to being jealous even with no reason, I was afraid of getting notifications on my phone because I though he was going to think bad. Also when he was angry because of some fight, The hunger formerly satisfied by the acceptance generated by the bribes above can no longer be satisfied, so the insecurities begin to lash out. he turned super cold, I could be crying in front of him and still have zero compassion with me (when I cried he would say more hurtful things). He also admitted to be a liar even about stupid things and always blamed me about things he did. Classic Narcissistic activity that comes after the above "set up". It is the "control" over you that the "set up" above was meant to prepare you for. Narcissistic Personality Disorder Tips for Spotting and Coping with a Narcissist https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm How to Leave a Narcissist For Good How to get out with your sanity intact. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201606/how-leave-narcissist-good Narcissistic personality disorder https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662 Edited March 13, 2018 by PRW Link to post Share on other sites
purposelife Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 It does hurt badly when a relationship ends. I know it can be hard to accept. You are worthy and him ending the relationship seems like the best thing for you. Talking to a friend, family member, or counselor through your depression can help. Maybe even occupying your time with things you like doing to keep your mind off of him. I hope you feel better soon! Link to post Share on other sites
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